Lodger's boyfriend staying over a lot

saajan_12

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

In that case it may be necessary to separate out "rent" from "contribution towards bills".

WHY?
Rent a room allowance is £7,500 per year in gross income, regardless of whether that's for rent / bills / services / whatever. Think of it as you pay tax on your income and they're massively rounding up your tax deductible assumed expenses to £7,500. You can't then deduct expenses again.

ETA: If you mean as a calc for how much more the boyfriend / couple should pay for double occupancy then ok as a start to the negotiation. Eg rent is the same as its one room but bills increase for an additional person. But its upto the OP what to ask for as increase in bills might be minimal but I'd want more for the inconvenience of an additional person living there.

sitesafe

I've had the same experience - rented out to a lodger then the boyfriend started staying regularly - I started to feel uncomfortable when we'd all be sitting watching tv and they'd start kissing and cuddling. Realised that it was beginning to feel like I was the lodger not them. And why should you have to not know if there's going to be a man in your house when you get home ?
Personally I'd get rid of both of them asap. The money you charge isn't expensive for good access to London. My friend was paying £650 for a double - she lived near Slough and worked in London. Give her a moving out date and details of spare room.co.uk - be sure to have someone around on the day this is due Just in case of any funny business.

Honeylife

The boyfriend/girlfriend staying over issue has really escalated in the past few years! It comes up regularly on other forums.

If you the LIL dont make it clear very firmly from day one your lodger thinks its cool. You dont want to come across as a "dragon" landlady so you try to be ok about it, but inside your really seething over it yet still hesitant to tell your lodger no.

I started off years ago saying absolutely no partners could stay over, but my adult children told me I was old fashioned and unreasonable. So I said if the lodger was in a long term relationship then partners were okay on weekends.

I had a lad whose girlfriend came on Friday morning at 10am and left on Monday at noon. Every single week! They cooked elaborate meals together and had loud sex all weekend. They rarely went out! When neither my daughter nor I could get in the bathroom and they were repeatedly cooking late at night, I totally lost it and gave him a warning. He was fine and she never came again. He left two months later.

Now I tell every new lodger that story during the viewing and explain that its not acceptable to have a partner when i have advertised as "single occupancy". My inspiration, has been to say that anyone staying more than 4 nights a week, a small charge will be made for use of utilities and this will be taken out of the deposit. That was the most effective way of limiting visits to two nights a week! I also have implemented a rule of no late cooking after 11.00 pm unless its light eg toast.

Start as you mean to go on, but if you cant cope with it give notice and find someone else. Sometimes people live together and suffer in silence which is so ridiculous. Its your house, you make the rules. Just say that you are not happy with the way things.

jonnygee2

They cooked elaborate meals together and had loud sex all weekend.

Were they Italian by any chance?

rtho782

I must be the most laid back live in landlord ever.

We have two lodgers, they are a couple. When we decided to share our house I figured it was going to be like going back to a shared house, and it kind of is. We don't really expect anything from them that a live out landlord wouldn't. Eg, don't smoke in the house, don't redecorate, etc.

Obviously they are a couple but if we had a single person there we would have no issues with them having their partner over, or cooking at night (not sure why this is an issue...)

To each his own I guess

silvercar

rtho782 wrote: »

I must be the most laid back live in landlord ever.

We have two lodgers, they are a couple. When we decided to share our house I figured it was going to be like going back to a shared house, and it kind of is. We don't really expect anything from them that a live out landlord wouldn't. Eg, don't smoke in the house, don't redecorate, etc.

Obviously they are a couple but if we had a single person there we would have no issues with them having their partner over, or cooking at night (not sure why this is an issue...)

To each his own I guess

Noise, occupation of bathroom at crucial times, no choice of extra person living in the property......

sevenhills

My daughter had a boyfriend stay over last week, I did not like a stranger in my/our house.
A lodger doing the same would be 10 times worse.

DCFC79

You managed to get it sorted OP ?

Alter_ego

G_M wrote: »

For goodness sake! Why don't LLs set ground rules when taking in lodgers?!!

See post 1 paragraph 5

Honeylife

rtho782 wrote: »

I must be the most laid back live in landlord ever.

We have two lodgers, they are a couple. When we decided to share our house I figured it was going to be like going back to a shared house, and it kind of is. We don't really expect anything from them that a live out landlord wouldn't. Eg, don't smoke in the house, don't redecorate, etc.

Obviously they are a couple but if we had a single person there we would have no issues with them having their partner over, or cooking at night (not sure why this is an issue...)

To each his own I guess

If a place is advertised as single occupancy, then you mentally and practically cater for that. If the partner is there almost every day then its no longer single occupancy and the additional wear and tear has not been catered for. If two people are in the kitchen for hours or in the bathroom for ages washing each others hair or whatever, so wrapped up in each other that they are oblivious to others in the house that form of selfish behaviour impinges on the other occupants. When my lodgers girlfriend came on the weekend I could barely get into my kitchen because they were in there cooking four course meals for bloody hours! When they cooked late at night, it was loud voices and noisy from pans and dishes being banged around, the microwave pinging constantly and doors slamming at midnight when the rest of the house was going to bed. I had not catered for two occupants every weekend or I would have advertised for a couple and charged considerably more : for the extra hot water used, for the extra toilet paper and cleaning materials, (she was not a particularly clean person) for the additional wear and tear on my mattress and for the inconvenience to me and my daughter of an additional person in the house. As the girlfriend was not a paying lodger in the house she was dismissive about cleaning up behind her and how she used the equipment - she simply used my expensive china "because the food looked nice on it!'. A partner coming over occasionally is at the discretion and permission of the LIL. I had no choice about her. ie I did not interview her or vet her. If I had I would not have taken her, if I had taken her I would have given her notice within weeks! It is not mandatory for the Landlord to allow it. I have checked. It was a lesson for me in what I did not want in my house and it has never happened again. Two nights a weeks maximum for guests of my Lodgers and not every weekend.