any housewives out there?

jackieblack

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Yes, of course.

Do dads in the forces not raise their children? You see how offensive the suggestion is in that case, well its no better when you're talking about a working mum?

An absent parent might be providing financially, but that's not the same as raising a child IMO.
I'm sorry if some people find that offensive.

Tabbytabitha

FBaby wrote: »

Are you one of those housewives who feels under valued so has to come up with justification as to why your contributions are amazing and women who work are selfish and damaging their children's lives. It's just that choice of words... sticking... I personally never 'stuck' my children in childcare, I made sure they attended an educational and socially enhancing environment.

Beside childcare, I fell to see what housewives do that I don't do at home and that's of course until the children start school. OH and I both work FT, are on a good income, but no way would we pay for any help. We do it all ourselves, cleaning, DIY, cooking shopping, paying bills, gardening, repairs.... Even managed to add some sporting activity in our schedule.

How do we do it, practice has taught us how to do things quickly and efficiently, a skill we also apply in our job. Is it sustainable? Well, maybe not, but with both of us working, we managed to pay the mortgage early and we should be able to retire early too, so I guess it's just doing more early to do less later.

I agree with most of what you've posted but that just seems daft to me. In your situation I'd want to make my life as pleasant and easy as possible and be happy that I earned enough to give employment to others.

ska_lover

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I agree with most of what you've posted but that just seems daft to me. In your situation I'd want to make my life as pleasant and easy as possible and be happy that I earned enough to give employment to others.

Sorry to butt in, but this is exactly what I meant earlier. FBabys choices work for her. It really doesn't matter what you, or anyone else thinks

Red-Squirrel_2

jackieblack wrote: »

An absent parent might be providing financially, but that's not the same as raising a child IMO.
I'm sorry if some people find that offensive.

I think a lot of people certainly would be offended at the idea that because they go out to work they are deemed to not be the ones raising their children, or that going to work makes them 'absent'!

How many hours per week are you allowed to be away from your children to still be allowed to say you raised them?

Tabbytabitha

ska_lover wrote: »

Sorry to butt in, but this is exactly what I meant earlier. FBabys choices work for her. It really doesn't matter what you, or anyone else thinks

It wouldn't be much of a discussion if we didn't comment on people's choices. As long as it's done politely and positively, I can't see why you'd object.

Tabbytabitha

jackieblack wrote: »

An absent parent might be providing financially, but that's not the same as raising a child IMO.
I'm sorry if some people find that offensive.

The most important role of a parent is to put a roof over their child's head and food in its tummy.

happyandcontented

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

The most important role of a parent is to put a roof over their child's head and food in its tummy.

I agree, but I think that is too simplistic.

Many families with two working parents do have the means to do that and much, much, more but, for whatever reasons, they also choose to both work.

I am not saying they are wrong to do that when children are at school for x number of hours a day, but when they are of preschool age I do think a conversation should at least be had about one parent staying at home and doing the childcare. Those are the formative years and generally, but not always, parental input is key. Those few years pass very quickly and can be used well if you forward plan.

jackieblack

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I think a lot of people certainly would be offended at the idea that because they go out to work they are deemed to not be the ones raising their children, or that going to work makes them 'absent'!

How many hours per week are you allowed to be away from your children to still be allowed to say you raised them?

TBH, I would say that if someone else is caring for your child for significantly greater proportion of their waking hours, for a significant percentage of their childhood, then they're really the one who are raising them.

And it doesn't really matter what the reason for the absence is. If you're not physically with your child, you're absent from them. That's fact, not opinion or judgement. If someone's offended by that? Well, sorry but the truth can be painful... :cool:

Perhaps it depends on your definition of 'raising'...?
(I suspect maybe our definitions are different)

jackieblack

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

The most important role of a parent is to put a roof over their child's head and food in its tummy.

Agreed.
Not the same thing as raising them though.

Tabbytabitha

happyandcontented wrote: »

I agree, but I think that is too simplistic.

Many families with two working parents do have the means to do that and much, much, more but, for whatever reasons, they also choose to both work.

I am not saying they are wrong to do that when children are at school for x number of hours a day, but when they are of preschool age I do think a conversation should at least be had about one parent staying at home and doing the childcare. Those are the formative years and generally, but not always, parental input is key. Those few years pass very quickly and can be used well if you forward plan.

Except that, for many couples, that automatically means that the woman gives up her job, so not much of a conversation really.