any housewives out there?

Tabbytabitha

NBLondon wrote: »

No - you're projecting TT We're pointing out that there are other unpaid tasks in the household that are not traditionally part of the "housewife" role. It's up to any household to agree which are "Boy jobs" and "Girl jobs" (as the Prime Minister put it recently) and whether the value/contribution is equal. It doesn't always come out equal (in the eyes of an outside observer) and there are plenty of single-parent families where one person has to do all of them or they just don't get done.

No, you misunderstand me.

What men don't get when they say they do the gardening, diy, car repairs etc whilst their partner does the cooking , childcare and cleaning is that their jobs can be occasional, able to be put off and even optional. With the possible exception of some cleaning, those "women's jobs" are unrelenting and have to be done every day, often several times a day, if not all day, for years.

Disaster doesn't strike if the lawn isn't mowed, the car goes unwashed or a room unpainted which is what happens when children are uncared for or there's no food to eat in the house.

pickledonionspaceraider

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

No, you misunderstand me.

What men don't get when they say they do the gardening, diy, car repairs etc whilst their partner does the cooking , childcare and cleaning is that their jobs can be occasional, able to be put off and even optional. With the possible exception of some cleaning, those "women's jobs" are unrelenting and have to be done every day, often several times a day, if not all day, for years.

Disaster doesn't strike if the lawn isn't mowed, the car goes unwashed or a room unpainted which is what happens when children are uncared for or there's no food to eat in the house.

That is true of some house holds.


Not an agreement I personally would be happy with it's very unequal - and if I had small daughters I would be concerned about passing the buck on to them, that it was fair and to be expected, to be doing more than the man

Tabbytabitha

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

That is true of some house holds.


Not an agreement I personally would be happy with it's very unequal - and if I had small daughters I would be concerned about passing the buck on to them, that it was fair and to be expected, to be doing more than the man

I'm not advocating that division of work!:eek::eek: I'm explaining why it isn't equal.

happyandcontented

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I wouldn't describe children watching hours of TV as "entertaining themselves" - surely that would be the TV entertaining them?

Entertaining themselves in the respect that the adult present does not actually have to interact with them.;)

jackieblack

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Mothers who use childcare still raise their own children!

Even if their children spend more of their waking hours in childcare than they do with one or more of their own parents? :cool:

clairec79

I also think there is a massive difference between a housewife years ago which was a physically demanding job (and much more time consuming) - all that washing by hand, sweeping the floors, beating rugs etc compared to sticking a load in the washing maching and running the hoover round

The majority of the work can and is done simultaneously, so while the washing machine cleans your clothes you may be doing the washing up or preparing tea - you can'd then claim all that more than once in the same time period - to me the time I (or other half let's be honest here it's his washing machine) spend on the washing is taking it from the laundry basket (kids know if it's not in there it doesn't get done), putting it into the machine, then taking it out hanging it on the line, then the time bringing it back in, so 5 minutes for each part - not several hours including the time the machine and the wind do their part (I didn't include ironing in there)

FBaby

They employ a cleaner, stick the child/ren into childcare and generally hire people to do the jobs that would have been done by the housewife.

Are you one of those housewives who feels under valued so has to come up with justification as to why your contributions are amazing and women who work are selfish and damaging their children's lives. It's just that choice of words... sticking... I personally never 'stuck' my children in childcare, I made sure they attended an educational and socially enhancing environment.

Beside childcare, I fell to see what housewives do that I don't do at home and that's of course until the children start school. OH and I both work FT, are on a good income, but no way would we pay for any help. We do it all ourselves, cleaning, DIY, cooking shopping, paying bills, gardening, repairs.... Even managed to add some sporting activity in our schedule.

How do we do it, practice has taught us how to do things quickly and efficiently, a skill we also apply in our job. Is it sustainable? Well, maybe not, but with both of us working, we managed to pay the mortgage early and we should be able to retire early too, so I guess it's just doing more early to do less later.

FBaby

And I should add, it's naturally has pushed me to encourage my kids to do a lot of things themselves hence making them very confident kids compared to some of their friends who can't even put the washing machine on because why should they when mum does it all... I wonder if these mums insist they should be paid for that too!

Red-Squirrel_2

jackieblack wrote: »

Even if their children spend more of their waking hours in childcare than they do with one or more of their own parents? :cool:

Yes, of course.

Do dads in the forces not raise their children? You see how offensive the suggestion is in that case, well its no better when you're talking about a working mum?

ska_lover

The only thing to be garnered from this thread is everyone is so massively different, and attitudes / opportunities / lifestyles / finances / expectations...are all different and contribute to these kind of choices....and comparing one families choice, to another...it seems apples and oranges to me...No two families have made the same decisions for the same reasons or have the same responsibilities / finances / expectations or whatever

I honestly applaud SAHM / housewives. I spent four years at home in total, and whilst a great experience in many ways, it also had it's downsides (mainly isolation/much less money). And then after..working full time with kids in school is a massive juggling act. Neither are an easy choice and people need to stop kidding themselves that the opposite to what they have chosen is somehow easier than their own choices

In these days of equality, women are very quick to judge / pull down other women...when we should be building each other up. I also think women are very quick to judge themselves negatively where there is absolutely no need - everyone who has taken the time to respond is doing what is right for them, and their family

I mean if someone makes a different choice to you, doesn't mean your choice is any less valid or worthy (not aimed at anyone in particular)