should my friend give his dead wifes other children some of her estate

Keep_pedalling

comeandgo wrote: »

Thank goodness this would never be a problem in Scotland. Children here have an automatic right to a percentage of movable estate.

When the majority of your wealth is tied up in property and joint assets, that does not help much.

comeandgo

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

When the majority of your wealth is tied up in property and joint assets, that does not help much.

Only property is exempt. Cars, jewellery etc will be valued and value taken.

Keep_pedalling

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

I'm sorry but I disagree.

If his mother intended him to have something now, she would have written a will.

You could equally say that if she intended him to have nothing she would have put that in a will. The truth is that for the 60% of the adult population who have no wills in place nobody apart from them really knows what their wishes are.

I regularly ask peopl if they have made there wills, and if not why not, and usually it’s a matter of not having got round to it, they are not old enough yet, or some other pathetic excuse, but no one yet has told me they are happy to leave it to intestacy rules and most are totally ignorant of what they are.

The number of married people with significant assets and children, who think their spouse will inherit everything if they don’t make a will is probable well over 50%.

Thie thread on the following shows that even when people have made plain what they want to happen through the split in home ownership, it can all go horribly wrong if they don’t back it up with a will.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5876715/changing-property-title-deeds

AnotherJoe

comeandgo wrote: »

Only property is exempt. Cars, jewellery etc will be valued and value taken.

Its easy to come up with scenarios where that would cause hardship to the family if someone demands their inheritance. Its simplistic to pretend that there are fixes to all problems and never any unintended consequences.



Just out of interest, what happens in a case like this with the house? Is that now "lost" to the son in the same way as in the rest of the UK? Or does its value get tracked through subsequent sales and purchases?

prowla

I would treat all of the children the same.


(That said, when my parents and stepmum passed away, I expected and got very little, but I didn't need their money and would have gladly contributed mine to them if they had survived to when I was earning good money.)

Keep_pedalling

AnotherJoe wrote: »

Its easy to come up with scenarios where that would cause hardship to the family if someone demands their inheritance. Its simplistic to pretend that there are fixes to all problems and never any unintended consequences.



Just out of interest, what happens in a case like this with the house? Is that now "lost" to the son in the same way as in the rest of the UK? Or does its value get tracked through subsequent sales and purchases?

The son would have no claim on the house or on the proceeds of the sale of the house. For most Scottish home owners movable estate makes up a very small percentage of an estate, and if you really want to totally disinherit a child it is very easy to do by reducing you solely owned movable estate to an absolute minimum. Even if you have an expensive car I it is jointly owned it takes it out of the estate.

SevenOfNine

It should be made clear that NO-ONE is getting a share of anything just now. The husband has inherited all of it given that it was in joint names so it's his home & his money.

Clearly both parties were happy that this would happen if either died first or a will would have been written. There's no excuse only a choice & they made it. People don't like to confront their own mortality (fair enough), but there are consequences others may have to live with, & this is one of them. They made their bed & now her son has to lie on it.

Yes, I do think the husband should write a will & leave something to his late wife's son. No, I don't think the son should have anything now, but this is down to his mother's choice, not his stepfather being mean. It may well be that the pair of them had agreed that whoever outlived the other would "look after ALL the offspring". I know someone who has done that & simply won't be told of the massive pitfall for her offspring if the stepdad breaks his word.

How much is 'fair'? Too much maths for me! I think stepdad should do what he thinks is the right thing, discuss it with his daughters, TELL stepson what he has done in his will. Having said that, if stepdad marries again it will all go out the window & his own daughters could find themselves in the same sad position as this son if their dad dies first.

I tend to look at inheritance as a lovely windfall following a sad or tragic loss, not a right or entitlement. So much bitterness & bad feeling goes with the latter & it's seen time & again. Unfortunately.

elsien

Doesn't really matter what anyone here thinks should happen though, does it? It's not going to change anything.
I'm not sure quite why you're so outraged either, given that it's not really your concern, you're getting all your information second hand, and if the mother has not long passed then all the sorting out is still to done.
They're all still grieving, they may be acting atypically because of this, and the last thing anyone needs is a third party stirring things up.

slickric1234

my friend had a copy of the photo albums of his wife with his wifes son as a child made and gave them to him

hes also taken some family vhs videos of the wife with her son to a local shop to get them copied on to dvd

the engagement and wedding rings hed bought her were only given to the daughters as she was being buried and an answer was urgently needed. so he asked the girls to decide if theyd prefer one each or bury them with her

in terms of the other possessions if he does ever feel up to clearing the house of clothes etc, id expect clothes and things to go to charity

don't know if the children would want to sort through it and help place them in charity bags, keeping anything they want with sentimental value. no idea if helping clear out clothes helps with grieving or just pulls the scab off a wound

personally found it very difficult going through my grans flat to help my mother clear it, but it did need to be done and I fully expect she wanted her clothes shoes and any furniture we had no use for to go to charities

rather than sift through it myself it would of been easier if someone had come along and cleared it, but the idea of a stranger (even from a charity) going through her things in her flat didn't sit right

slickric1234

elsien wrote: »

Doesn't really matter what anyone here thinks should happen though, does it? It's not going to change anything.
I'm not sure quite why you're so outraged either, given that it's not really your concern, you're getting all your information second hand, and if the mother has not long passed then all the sorting out is still to done.
They're all still grieving, they may be acting atypically because of this, and the last thing anyone needs is a third party stirring things up.

one of my best friends came to me and was upset as he has seen her son and relayed the story about the son asking what he was getting

and asked if I thought he should think about giving him money he doesn't really have now or downsizing his house to give his wifes son a cut of their assets now


as mentioned I suggested putting her son in his will but for now obviously he needs to make sure he has enough money for himself and the 1 daughter whos 15 and obviously still lives with him and will be for foreseeable future

just shocked me that her son would come asking for money
from what he said I doubt he had wrong end of stick as hed already been given the photo albums and will be getting the video on dvd

I would never want to repeat something he said to me to anyone we knew
so rather than ask some of my other friends whether my thinking that Jason is bang out of order asking for money now, I thought id look to an internet forum to see if theres any chance I was wrong and the "correct" thing to do would be give Jason money now.

thanks elsien ill go give my pal a ring now and stir it up some more .. to$$er