should my friend give his dead wifes other children some of her estate

slickric1234

after some advice

a little background
my friend sadly lost his wife recently
she had an adult son from her first marriage who was an adult when they met
my friend has 2 biological daughters with his now deceased wife


her son is now basically asking what hes getting from her estate

hes not after photos and mementos which hes already been offered and given
hes after cash


personally think its disgusting and legally as the family home and joint bank accounts investments etc were in their joint names then obviously even though no will legally all goes to my friend

my friend has always got on fairly well with her son and I suggested possibly leaving him 1/6 of my friends estate in his will in the hopefully distant future


my thinking being his half of the joint estate should go to his 2 daughters and his dead wifes half should be split 3 ways so it would be 2/12 her son and 5/12 each for each daughter


I don't know how rich her son thought they were (but if hes thinking he wants his third of his mothers half now or a quarter if he recognises my friend should get the same from his wife)
then in order to pay him off my friend would have to sell their house as it would only be fair to give their daughters or at least offer them the same chunk now


is my outrage misplaced ???

her son has obviously lost his mother but as much as I try to get my head Around what hes after I just cant

AnotherJoe

This is quite a common scenario and a way that children can be dispossessed sometimes to a complete stranger.



If he wants cash he'll have to wait, the scenario is no different to if it was his mum & dad and the mother died, I'm sure he wouldnt be expecting the dad to sell up the house so the son can get something. I didnt go round my mums house and demand my share when my dad died !


You might expect any legacies to be given only when the surviving parent dies. Your friend is a "stand in" dad in this case. I cant imagine he is even contemplating selling his house now. Even had his wife made a will making the son a beneficiary, the usual scheme would be for there to be a life interest for her partner (your friend) to live in the house until he dies.



As to what your friend should do, its up to him, he can tell the step son he's mentioned in the will if he wants, and he can leave him whatever he deems fair in his will (the two not necessarily being the same thing, eg he could say he's leaving something yet not).



As to your outrage well it all depends on your perspective and if the son is expecting a bundle of cash or just enquiring what the long term plan is. Pity the wife didnt make a will making her wishes clear, will your friend make one now?

comeandgo

Thank goodness this would never be a problem in Scotland. Children here have an automatic right to a percentage of movable estate.

getmore4less

Was the house really joint and not TIC.

seven-day-weekend

Yes he should. How much he should give him is debatable, but I'm sure his mother did not intend him to have nothing.

I also agree with the advice about making a will, but as there is not one in this case, then the father should try to do what his late wife would have wished.

Tigsteroonie

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes he should. How much he should give him is debatable, but I'm sure his mother did not intend him to have nothing.

I'm sorry but I disagree.

If his mother intended him to have something now, she would have written a will.

As a previous poster pointed out, if the son's natural parents were still together, he wouldn't inherit following his mother's death without it being specified in a will; so why is this situation different?

Yes there is a danger that his stepfather could die intestate, which leaves his estate to his two biological children; or stepfather could even write a will deliberately cutting out his stepson in favour of his own biological children. That's always a risk with subsequent marriages and second families.

But if you feel strongly that the son should get something, perhaps you'd like to fund a solicitor for me to claim something from my natural father's estate - because I've received nothing. "Surely he did not intend for me to have nothing?"

-taff

He can leave what he likes to anyone but it does seem a bit mean spirirted to provide for the children they had together but ignore the son she had by herself. It's like saying, your life before me means nothing and I'm only paying attention to what happened when we were together.


Has he given anything to the their two children?

Browntoa

I've seen both sides of this

Friends mum , stepdaughter from 2nd marriage thought she was due a share of house sale when the mum moved into sheltered housing as she thought half of the value was her dad's and went to her. She rapidly found out that on her dad's death his share of the house went to his wife , leaving very little in other assets .

But my friends mum has done the decent thing and written her will do that both her children AND the husbands children get an equal share if the estate on her death.

But really this should all be sorted while you are alive by leaving properly drawn up wills

But in the OP's circumstances he's got no chance of challenging the estate if he was not financially dependent on the mother

slickric1234

Their daughters have had some jewellery

Think one had the wedding ring the other the engagement ring
And some photos etc

Hes not doing well and all of her clothes and other possessions are still in the wardrobes and cupboards

Hes not given their daughters cash now but they will obviously be in his will

House was bought in joint names, he had more of the initial deposit, and as she was raising the 2 girls he paid more of the mortgage. But in my mind thats not overly important as it was a house that they bought together and was theirs as a married couple, if it was the other way round and he was the wife and it was his husband that died who had another older son, and the dead husband had paid more of the house, whilst he raised the children, it would still be their house and in a marriage of 20 years where one raised the children whilst the other worked their assets are still joint regardless of which one paid more money

"Keep pedalling You should be more outraged that she did not make a will. Dieing intestate with complex family set ups is asking for trouble, yet so many fools do it." Helpful

If the dead person intends it to all go to surviving partner and almost everything in joint names house bank accounts etc then the lack of a will is not too problematic. But with any complex situation where one or both have extra children a will with the deceased persons wishes would obviously help

I fully expect her son will be in my friends will be it for a third of everything or be it for a third of his mothers half

he knows she had no will and legally hes not due a share of a his mothers second family home that he never even lived in (she had him very young and he was about 20 at the point they got married and bought their house). But has still gone to my friend and asked him what hes getting...


I wasnt there for this conversation, so not sure if he directly asked for money if it was implied or if there are crossed wires somewhere and he just wants to make sure hes in my friends will, knowing legally in the future if my friend died without a will as well then legally his estate would go to his 2 daughters and cut out the dead wifes first son

On the assumption he is indeed after money now, does anyone think that my friend should be giving him some sort of a share now?

seven-day-weekend

slickric1234 wrote: »

Their daughters have had some jewellery

Think one had the wedding ring the other the engagement ring
And some photos etc

Hes not doing well and all of her clothes and other possessions are still in the wardrobes and cupboards

Hes not given their daughters cash now but they will obviously be in his will

House was bought in joint names, he had more of the initial deposit, and as she was raising the 2 girls he paid more of the mortgage. But in my mind thats not overly important as it was a house that they bought together and was theirs as a married couple, if it was the other way round and he was the wife and it was his husband that died who had another older son, and the dead husband had paid more of the house, whilst he raised the children, it would still be their house and in a marriage of 20 years where one raised the children whilst the other worked their assets are still joint regardless of which one paid more money

"Keep pedalling You should be more outraged that she did not make a will. Dieing intestate with complex family set ups is asking for trouble, yet so many fools do it." Helpful

If the dead person intends it to all go to surviving partner and almost everything in joint names house bank accounts etc then the lack of a will is not too problematic. But with any complex situation where one or both have extra children a will with the deceased persons wishes would obviously help

I fully expect her son will be in my friends will be it for a third of everything or be it for a third of his mothers half

he knows she had no will and legally hes not due a share of a his mothers second family home that he never even lived in (she had him very young and he was about 20 at the point they got married and bought their house). But has still gone to my friend and asked him what hes getting...


I wasnt there for this conversation, so not sure if he directly asked for money if it was implied or if there are crossed wires somewhere and he just wants to make sure hes in my friends will, knowing legally in the future if my friend died without a will as well then legally his estate would go to his 2 daughters and cut out the dead wifes first son

On the assumption he is indeed after money now, does anyone think that my friend should be giving him some sort of a share now?

No, but he should have his due share (1/3 of his mother's half) in his stepfather's will.

-taff

Only if he's giving some to the daughters. But that's me being all even handed and saying they should all be treated the same.
If the girls have had ememntoes, thenmaybe the son should too.
Any other questions about future inheritances should be met with .'I'm making a will'
To be blunt though, even if he does make a will, if he ends up in care, then that would be paid for out of his assetts to start with anyway as he owns a house, so there may be nothing left to inherit anyway.