Pinch punch 1st of the month - Daily chat thread!

OliveOyl_2

I can't believe she thinks it would be a good Christmas?????
1) is she planning on paying her way?
2) can she book herself into a hotel nearby?

I've been through the most god-awful contact/residency fight and we failed abysmally. His ex sometimes made the most rash offers (you can't see him for half a day he's too scared. But you can have him for 8 days at Christmas.) We ALWAYS said yes, she ALWAYS retracted. Can you call her bluff?

Toto

my idea of hell too sar, I can't spend 10 minutes with this woman without wanting to slap her. She's up to her eyes in debt so she is insisting that she can't afford a hotel and she wants to be with the family not on her own over christmas. It's all just another way for her to spoil our plans, using the little girl as usual. His family aren't too keen on her because of the way she's been over the past couple of years.

Fran left her 2 years before we met but she blames me for their marriage ending

Lucy1982_2

It is tough.

How reasonable is she? Would explaining that your Hubby's family are a little uncomfortable at having so many people to stay and are worried that she would feel left out as obviously she is no longer part of the family etc make any difference?

Gemmzie

Sticky situation, sounds like she doesn't want to spend Christmas on her on and is free-loading off your pricey holiday.

How long are you there for? Maybe she could stay a day or two but not the whole time? Say you couldn't get flights for the whole time.

Snaggles

Toto, you are obviously a much nicer person than I am to even be considering letting her come. I would tell her 'we are more than happy to take your daughter, but YOU are not coming, and if that means you decide to withold the right for her to see her Gran, then I hope you can live with your conscience, because MY conscience will be clear'.

Am I a horrible person?

OliveOyl_2

My OH was divorced for 7 yrs when she suddenly kicked up. The court social worker (may she rot) said there were unresolved issues relating to the marriage!

Your OH's ex is saying
"please pay for me to have Christmas in Canada with you"??????

Lucy1982_2

Snaggles wrote: »

Toto, you are obviously a much nicer person than I am to even be considering letting her come. I would tell her 'we are more than happy to take your daughter, but YOU are not coming, and if that means you decide to withold the right for her to see her Gran, then I hope you can live with your conscience, because MY conscience will be clear'.

Am I a horrible person?

No.

I think that is a very reasonable reaction, I'm just not sure I could say it. I like to keep people happy! :rolleyes:

Toto

You're not horrible snaggles it's how I feel, but I don't feel I have the right to say who does and doesn't stay at his mum's house. I'm not paying for her flight, not in a million years. If his family agree to her going my choice is either to go and put up with it or stay home.

immoral_angeluk

Ok.. here's what I would say..

'Of course you can come, of course we'll pay for your flight... can't afford a room? It's ok! Share with us!...
.... just don't expect your hair or eyebrows to last the night....'

Lucy1982_2

I have a friend who had a family issue last year.

She is White English her hubby is Black American (and very very gorgeous!) and his parents hate her. It's not even mild dislike, if she stays with them they go through her things, or they arrange family meals without inviting her. It go so bad that they moved to Washington and now live over 12hrs away from them.

And she dealt with it by saying I realise that they are your family and you love them, but I don't feel like spending Christmas with them would be good for any of us. If you want to go the them then I don't have a problem with that, but I will stay here.

Needless to say Hubby spent Christmas with her.

Considering she is an ex she should never have put you in this situation. What does your hubby think?