Stroppy Neighbour?

SIlvine

Thanks Rosemary - I'm not sure I can keep the stone thing either but I don't know what else I can do - there really didn't seem to be any acknowledgement that it was really not safe to treat as a toy when she came to collect it yesterday. Yet me putting it back over the fence was specifically not requested in her note, and that it was delivered to outside their front door. Cross the bridge when I come to it I guess!

pimento

"Items over the fence? What items? I never saw anything come over the fence.."

silverwhistle

SIlvine wrote: »

- I'm not sure I can keep the stone thing either but I don't know what else I can do -

Give it a small tap with a lump hammer. "It fell apart when I picked it up. Must have been broken when it hit the ground"..


"I found this toy had fallen in some cat s**t"..


I don't really recommend these, but it's always nice to imagine to bring some humour into an akward situation. :-)

SevenOfNine

SIlvine wrote: »

I think I am at the point, given the general lack of respect / thought that has been displayed for quite awhile, of needing to be firm and setting some 'guidelines' especially with the school holidays coming soon. The next time I get items over I'll wait for them to call round then ask them to limit their calls to weekend afternoons (not evenings when I may be naked in the bathroom) and that then it'll be once on those days that I will be undertaking returns. (If there's a repeat of the stone garden ornament or similar I will raise that this isn't acceptable and a further repeat will mean that item isn't returned for the safety of life forms on my side of the fence.)
(Perhaps in the week the parents might then find them some other toys to play with that aren't likely to go over the fence?) They seem to have alot of toys so I don't feel this would be depriving them in any way, and maybe will encourage a bit more care and attention.

A co-operative solution OP. I agree, you will be setting guidelines for returning their property, at a time that is convenient for you. Don't pick anything up yourself, parent or child can be let into the garden & do it themselves. If you really must then just shove it into a pile, but merely stand & watch while THEY collect it up.

Telling them to wait until the weekends will be helping the child understand that chucking the stuff over the fence means he/she won't be able to play with it for a few days - their choice. Even if it means the kid has nothing left to play with. Make it clear in advance that this is the new 'rule' & you will not be making any exceptions to it in the future.

As for the heavy ornamental thing, I don't really think you can actually refuse to return it, so perhaps point out that throwing heavier items, that are NOT toys, over the fence puts your garden users at risk, therefore the only way they will get those items back is when you drop them over their fence (look over first & choose your spot (straight onto a bush or plant so it has a soft landing, same place every time & if it wrecks their plants, tough). If they can't discipline the child into not chucking that sort of thing over, they can't expect you to place it gently back on their property.

martinbuckley

Are your neighbours owners or tenants? If the latter, have a word with the LL.

EmmyLou30

I'm surrounded by 5 gardens at the back, all with kids of a similar age so similar toys and balls. I wouldn't have a clue where the stuff came from to just throw them back so I leave them.....they can come ask for them back if they want them in my mind, just as we did as kids.


We soon learnt that one neighbours dog may get to them before we did (generally because the homeowner hated all the kids and let the dog have them but as a childless adult surround by houses with kids in I totally see how she felt now!). We also knew we were only allowed in once a day for stuff so to be careful unless we wanted to lose the toy for 24 hours.

dontone

If I were you, I would take a pic of the heavy ornament thing just in case, should you happen to return it, they say you have damaged it.
If she is as stroppy as you have said, she might use that to cause trouble. Also make a note of stuff flying over from now on. If it gets worse, report it to the council or LL if you can't reason with her.
My Mam had the same thing with her neighbours. First it was toys, which she threw back, then for some reason, shoes started flying over (bear in mind it is a 8 foot fence separating them). She didn't mind giving stuff back, but it was when they started throwing over bricks & stones that she took offence. And also the youngest of about 10, had this habit of kicking the ball over, and instead of first knocking on the door, he'd press his face on the back door window and peer in (he did it while I was there, and a sharp tap on the glass where he squashed his nose, soon stopped that habit )
And when she went round to complain, the 'man of the house' put his fingers to his lips and went 'sssshhhhhhh'.
Since then, anything that was flung on the back garden is automatically thrown away.
She ended up reporting them to the council & landlord. It stopped eventually, especially with the shoes, as I think they had too many odd pairs, but she isn't in the best of health, and I think that they did it all the more to wind her up.

SIlvine

Hi everyone - I did take a picture of the ornament and also have CCTV over the back of my property which showed it residing on the lawn with the other stuff they decided to 'decorate' my garden with. I've looked and believe they are the home owners - can't see any rental listings for the property. I wish they were tenants as I'd absolutely be on to the LL!

fibonarchie

SIlvine wrote: »

I was told she couldn't stop the kids putting items over the fence and that she "hoped I could appreciate that."

Cheeky mare. How about: "I've got to go to work and have better things to do than keep picking up random toys your kids have thrown into my garden. I hope you can appreciate that.."

Failing that, put a higher fence up?

hollydays

How old are the children?