Stroppy Neighbour?

Rosemary7391

I dunno, this sounds a bit more excessive than normal. I very much doubt I would've ever been allowed to accumulate 10 things in a neighbour's garden - is that correct OP or just an exaggeration?



Normal procedure when I was growing up was for me to go around on my own and ask very politely if I could have it back. And be patient if that were a bad time or whatever. Sounds like your neighbours aren't quite so patient. And stones are absolutely unacceptable, especially if they don't want them throwing back!



They absolutely can stop things coming over - no throwing games in the garden until they learn significantly better aim! Or put up nets for them to play in/under.

neilmcl

My old neighbour's lad was a footie mad 6 year old who was forever, "accidentally" kicking his myriad of footballs over the hedge, which is a good 8 feet btw. I gave up throwing them back over over multiple times in a day so left it until he, with his older sister was made to come round and collect themselves. Eventually, and with the agreement of their parents, made it clear they could come and collect the balls once only in a given day and if the ball kept coming over they would need to wait until the following day and only then if I was in.

Stuff would still come over but the frequency drastically reduced after that.

sheramber

My sister got fed up returning balls that boys paying in the car park behind her house kicked over the fence.

One day she left the ball where it was.

That evening a child and parent came to the door. She expected trouble but to the contrary the father told the boy to apologise and ask nicely for his ball back.

My sister explained that if they kicked the ball up the car park instead of across the car park the ball would be less likely to go in the garden.

She has not had any trouble since.

That father is a rare breed nowadays.

When we had problems with balls coming into the garden repeatedly I eXplained that if my dog found the ball before I did he would burst it. No balls came over the fence after that.

iltisman

Sell the place during the winter.

PasturesNew

hollydays wrote: »

Personally I'd have gone to the door and spoken through it without opening the door.

pfft.

B4lls to 'em.
Cheeky entitled lifestyle monkeys.

SIlvine

Unfortunately not an exaggeration on the number of items. The 'party' went on for about 8 hours so the kids were playing constantly in the garden during this time and putting items over the fence. Then the garden ornament followed on another day.

Lavendyr

Moneyineptitude wrote: »

Keeping anything lobbed over the fence and issuing "final warnings" is a recipe for ongoing conflict, of course.

I think there has already been a fair amount of passive aggressiveness by the OP, both in not opening the door when the neighbour called and in taking time to write a note rather than simply throwing the items back.

I don't think my suggestion is passive aggressive at all - just clear and straightforward. Yes, it might create conflict, but it seems that there is already conflict. My suggestion is simply to speak to the neighbour be clear that if she will not stop the children from throwing things over, including dangerous stone ornaments that could cause injury, they will not be getting back the items they throw.

I'm not sure there is any other solution than this, except to put up with the ongoing irritation.

Edit to add: The suggestion above by Neil to make them wait until a certain time/day to come and collect is also a really good one!

1886

When I was a kid my Brother and I used to play football in the garden and the ball would eventually get kicked next door over the hedge. The neighbour on one side would always throw the ball back when they were next in the garden but the neighbour on the other side of us would only give us the ball back if we went round and asked

Personally I would only give things back if asked. As for the stone ornament coming over, I would'nt be too happy about that. It could have hit you or a pet or damaged plants etc

The Mother sounds like a typical self important madam. Don't take any cr4p off her

SIlvine

Thanks everyone. I don't think anyone is being passive aggressive and appreciate the different ideas on how best to handle. I think I am at the point, given the general lack of respect / thought that has been displayed for quite awhile, of needing to be firm and setting some 'guidelines' especially with the school holidays coming soon. The next time I get items over I'll wait for them to call round then ask them to limit their calls to weekend afternoons (not evenings when I may be naked in the bathroom) and that then it'll be once on those days that I will be undertaking returns. (If there's a repeat of the stone garden ornament or similar I will raise that this isn't acceptable and a further repeat will mean that item isn't returned for the safety of life forms on my side of the fence.)
I usually get home lateish from work on the weekdays currently and would just prefer not to have to deal with this at that point. (Perhaps in the week the parents might then find them some other toys to play with that aren't likely to go over the fence?) They seem to have alot of toys so I don't feel this would be depriving them in any way, and maybe will encourage a bit more care and attention.
I also wasn't really allowed to behave like this as a kid / had more supervision maybe and don't recall an issue with constantly getting things over the fence - my parents had other activities for me that didn't irritate the neighbours I guess!

Rosemary7391

IMO if you're working late that's a perfectly acceptable reason not to want to deal with the rest of the world of an evening! I do the same. I'd explain that to the neighbour though so they don't think you're just being difficult for the sake of it.


You're absolutely right that it will encourage more care on the part of the kids - it worked on me and my friends for sure


I'm not sure that you can just not return the stone thing? Although I'd be inclined to only hand it back to an adult rather than a kid since it obviously isn't a toy. I don't know what you can do if they don't grasp that it isn't a thing to be throwing around...