stepchildren and wills?

TBagpuss

OP, it's good you have found this out now, not after you committed to selling your property.

There are a number of options.

1. You keep your house, he sells his and you move into a new property held in his name, where you pay a contribution to bills. If he dies or if you split up, you leave and he/his son have the property. You could have a cohabitation agreement drawn up giving you a reasonable period to move out (maybe 1 month if you and he split up, 6 months if he dies)

2. You sell both properties and buy together. You have a trust deed setting out what interest you each have and also provision for a period of time for the survivor to remain in the property after the other's death - this would allow the survivor time to find alternative accommodation, and hopefully at that time 50% of the equity will be enough for you to rehouse (if the new mortgage costs less than the old, put the difference into savings so you also build up a lump sum to boost your share of the equity.

3. Look into life insurance. It might be possible to take out a life policy on your partner's life, with you as the beneficiary. This would then pay a lump sum to you in the event of his death, which you could then use either to buy out his son's interest in the house or to use, with your share of the equity, to buy a new property.

4. continue to live separately and 'date'

davidwood681

I don't blame him. You've only been together 4 years. If he wants to leave what he has to his son, that's his decision.

Don't buy with him if you're not happy.

And why mention the business? Do you want that too?

pjcox2005

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

An inheritance is never a given or a right though, it’s a bonus. The son shouldn’t need it, although it might be useful, because he should be living his life as though it will never come. The best case scenario is that children don’t inherit until they are retired or close to it themselves and then not very much because the parents have spent their money on enjoying their final years!

I agree with the last sentence very much though, OP definitely shouldn’t go ahead with his plan but with a bit of petty revenge thrown in like leaving her half to the cats’ home. It needs sorting so that they are both happy and both feel secure.

A life insurance policy with the son as the beneficiary seems a good solution, as suggested upthread. That way OP doesn’t risk her home and her partner knows his son will receive a good lump sum if/when he dies. It’ll certainly be quicker and easier than selling the house too!

Even if they solve the practical/financial issue though, there is still the issue of the different levels of commitment/consideration to deal with though.

I agree it's not a right but I think most parents want to support their children in early adult years (if they can) whether it's on the cost of education, house deposit, wedding etc so leaving an inheritance when it's a possibility you can die before they're 18 feels normal.


As posters have mentioned, you're both putting in 50%, so there is no reason why that should entitle you to 100% of the return even if it is a home. I think it's quite common for second marriages/partnerships to work slightly differently.


On the point of overpaying the mortgage then that's probably not the best from a financial perspective anyway, so leave it 50:50 and contribute the rest to a pension, investments or higher interest savings accounts.

Ms_Chocaholic

Hi
We are in a similar situation but married for a number of years and I have a child from a previous relationship (now adult).


When we did our wills, I left my 50% of the house to my child but in the will it specifies that my husband can continue to live in the house until his death. If he remarries then the house has to be sold. If my husband were to downsize, then he could do so but any remaining money left would go to my child (eg this property sold for £250,000 but new one only costs £200,000 so £50,000 would go to child).


We did the wills this way as I was concerned that if I pre-deceased my husband, he could go on to re-marry, meet a woman, then if he were to pre-decease her then the property would go to his 2nd wife and my child would receive zilch.

FBaby

An inheritance is never a given or a right though, it!!!8217;s a bonus.

I totally agree with this, but it applies to OP as much as the son. As David said, OP has only been with her partner for 4 years, which is a very short time in comparison to the time it would have taken for his asset to grow to what it is now.

But why would you put your heart and soul into a place you could call home to have to sell it to give the Son his share?

Doesn't this apply to anyone though? People find themselves without jobs and have to sell the house they have put their heart and soul into.

I think there is a difference between giving OP everything if her partner were to pass away at this stage of their relationship and in ten years time. In the end though, no-one should feel pressured to decide who should have your assets after your death, the wishes of the deceased should just be respected.

Red-Squirrel_2

FBaby wrote: »

I totally agree with this, but it applies to OP as much as the son. As David said, OP has only been with her partner for 4 years, which is a very short time in comparison to the time it would have taken for his asset to grow to what it is now.

I think it’s completely different, she doesn’t want cash, she doesn’t want to be better off if her partner dies, she just doesn’t want to lose the roof over her head that will have been hers just as much as her partners.

That’s totally normal, that’s something most couples want to avoid. Most loving partners would hate the thought of their other half having to go from the security and comfort of their jointly owned home to the stress and insecurity of trying to sell up and move with a smaller budget or privately renting, especially as they would also be grieving, and considering that anything could happen between now and then to impact on the OP’s ability to actually manage this, such as illness, disability, unemployment etc.

I completely understand he wants to look out for his son. Surely a good life insurance policy is the ideal way to do that?

Bellisima

My husband has 3 children with his first wife, all adults now, and I have none. We have left everything initially to each other. He is a lot older than me, so he has left his share to me, and in my will I have left everything to him, but when the last of us dies then we have split our assets between his 3 adult children and my 3 adult siblings. Assuming there is anything left by then! There is no way we would leave each other in such a predicament as yours partner is suggesting. I would be very wary of buying a house with him.

SueC_2

I'm in exactly the same situation, and it's very nearly brought about the end of our relationship.


I don't want to benefit from my partner's death, but at the same time I don't want to be made homeless at a time that will already be quite sad and stressful enough.


He on the other hand, doesn't want his children to have to wait, what could be a long time, for me to die before gaining what is rightfully theirs.


We haven't found a solution that works for us yet, but it's been a relief to see that there are so many different views on here - at least I now realise it's not just a fundemental difference between his and my values!

Alexmerris

My partner and I bought as Tenants in Common. Then we could “will” our halves of the house as we wished. I wrote a will that left half of my half (ie a quarter of the total) to my son, and the other half of my half to my partner. That way if I died the mortgage would be paid off and he would only have had to find/mortgage a quarter of the value of the property in order to pay my son off and own the full property himself.

tlc678910

Another vote for life insurance as a starting point. If your partner is reasonably healthy and let's say around 40 it should be perfectly affordable for him to take out 200k of life cover, paying monthly, to cover him until he is around 70. He could put his son as the beneficiary of the life cover and (because his son is covered) leave you the house. You and your partner then have 30 years (the period of life cover) to plan an inheritance for his son that doesn't require you to leave your home. You could for example purchase and pay off a buy to let property that is willed to him on the death of his father or you could save and invest and will him these savings.
Tlc

Edit: an additional complication is if your partner might be in a position to inherit himself in the future from his own parents. They would likely be very uncomfortable about giving their son an inheritance that could stay with you and might not make it to their grandchild eventually. I think it is simplest if this is the case to ask his parents to make a will straight to their grandchild. Your partner would also be reassured by this inheritance for their child (if there is one).