Keeping Things Fair

ska_lover

I can't vote as there is no option for my thoughts on this

The woman has already done far more than many would or could have - and seeing as she hasn't even offered for child number 2, it's a moot point really and she shouldn't be expected to do so

LilElvis

OP, I don't know why this is concerning you so much as any dilemma isn't yours, but your MIL's.

jackieblack

oligopoly wrote: »

I just can't work out in my mind whether it's fair for her to also give £180 a month to her other daughter or not. It's puzzling me as I can't decide what's fair either way...

You don't need to decide anything, it's nothing to do with you.


What your MIL spends her money on is her choice and whether or not she chooses to give any money to her other daughter is entirely between them.

oligopoly

Ha! Why? Well an understanding on what's considered fair is probably a good thing to acquire and apply in day-to-day life. One day I might have similar decisions to make with my own children.

Cheeky_Monkey

I don't see how it's got anything to do with you.

If your MiL has decided to do that, whether you think it's fair or not is irrelevant.

jackieblack

oligopoly wrote: »

Ha! Why? Well an understanding on what's considered fair is probably a good thing to acquire and apply in day-to-day life. One day I might have similar decisions to make with my own children.

But what might seem fair to one person won't to another, so it's irrelevant.
If you have similar decisions to make in the future it will be your opinion (taking the relevant circumstances at the time into account) and no-one else's that counts. What anyone else thinks might or not be fair will be equally as irrelevant then

oligopoly

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

I don't see how it's got anything to do with you.

If your MiL has decided to do that, whether you think it's fair or not is irrelevant.

She hasn't - if you read the OP you'll see it's a hypothetical question.

oligopoly

jackieblack wrote: »

But what might seem fair to one person won't to another, so it's irrelevant.
If you have similar decisions to make in the future it will be your opinion (taking the relevant circumstances at the time into account) and no-one else's that counts. What anyone else thinks might or not be fair will be equally as irrelevant then

If you don't think it's worthwhile asking people's opinions on things then you have this site and forum very, very wrong!

AylesburyDuck

Presumably (from reading the OP) your SIL had her child first (you said she paid it when the child was younger), so on the basis that you didnt say you got £180 per month for not having a child (but do now when you do) what makes you think she should get an extra £180 now?
Nope, it's for child care, not for spending how you want.

Rubik

What does it matter what anyone else thinks? Your MIL is being very generous, and as it's her money, it's up to her to decide what she feels is fair or not.