Keeping Things Fair

oligopoly

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this...

My MIL kindly pays us £180 per month for childcare costs. She did the same to my sister in law when their child was younger and is a firm believer in keeping things equal between her 2 daughters.

We now have a second child and she's alluded to the fact that she will do the same for this one when she is at nursery age.

I'm unable to work out whether she should also pay £180 to her other daughter to keep things 'fair' or not. What say you?!

motorguy

oligopoly wrote: »

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this...

My MIL kindly pays us £180 per month for childcare costs. She did the same to my sister in law when their child was younger and is a firm believer in keeping things equal between her 2 daughters.

We now have a second child and she's alluded to the fact that she will do the same for this one when she is at nursery age.

I'm unable to work out whether she should also pay £180 to her other daughter to keep things 'fair' or not. What say you?!

So the MIL should pay her other daughter £180 towards the costs of a second child, but she doesnt have a second child?

The £180 is towards childcare costs, if the other daughter doesnt have second child childcare costs why would the MIL pay?

Whos suggesting this, the MIL, the other daughter or your wife and you?

Scorpio33

If its towards childcare costs, it seems reasonable that the £180 is per child when they require childcare.

One extra child = additional childcare costs.


So no, the other daughters shouldn't have extra as they don't have extra costs.

hazyjo

Is the other daughter unable to have more children? Doubt the MIL will pay her right now unless she gives her the choice of whether to have it now instead of if she has any more kids.

bertiewhite

On the other hand, it's a personal choice to have a second child.

oligopoly

motorguy wrote: »

Whos suggesting this, the MIL, the other daughter or your wife and you?

It's my MIL's idea to pay the money. I just can't work out in my mind whether it's fair for her to also give £180 a month to her other daughter or not. It's puzzling me as I can't decide what's fair either way...

oligopoly

hazyjo wrote: »

Is the other daughter unable to have more children? Doubt the MIL will pay her right now unless she gives her the choice of whether to have it now instead of if she has any more kids.

She will 99% not be having another child

bertiewhite

oligopoly wrote: »

It's my MIL's idea to pay the money.

It's her money so it's her choice at the end of the day.

rpc

Both are fair in a different way.

But MIL's money, MIL's choice.

gettingtheresometime

If I was your MIL and you told me, to keep it fair, I should give my daughter a £180 because I had offered to pay 2 lots to you...well neither of you would have anything.


My money, my decision on how to spend it

AnotherJoe

Its for childcare costs

I presume costs will be incurred. On which the above money for childcare costs will be spent.

So why would MIL pay other daughter £180 when she doesn't have those costs ?

Look at it another way, if your sister was having medical treatment, lets say physio for a bad back and it was £180 every month which MIL was paying for, would you want / expect £180 a month as well?