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MeandO

I've just transferred £50 from the savings into my premium bonds account that was lying empty. I've also set up a standing order to send £25 there every month to purchase more. I know there is no interest and chances of winning are slim, but it's an account which takes notice to withdraw from and that I can send money to and forget about. It will be a bonus to ever win anything.

MeandO

We ventured out to get some grocery shopping, firstly, Asda, where a gift card I was very kindly given for Christmas covered the entire amount. Then to home bargains to buy cleaning, household and toiletry bits needed at more reasonable prices. Just under £20 was spent there.

£7 was also spent on a haircut for DS which was much needed.

I’m still feeling rather blue this evening.
I’m really desperate to shake this feeling, it’s really making me feel uneasy. I need to concentrate on eating better tomorrow too. I’ve eaten utter rubbish today - leftover chocolate, biscuits, crisps - it’s just made me feel even worse about myself.

I’m going to make myself a bedtime ‘sleep easy’ herbal tea and get to bed for a relatively early night. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Night all x

[Deleted User]

It's no wonder you're feeling blue, you've been through so much lately, and in general! I think it's only natural to feel that way given what life has been throwing at you.
If you keep feeling this way, please go and see your GP for help - there's no need to suffer in silence.
Sending you virtual hugs!

MeandO

Thank you Moguline xx On the whole I have felt a bit better today.

Aside from a particularly stressful ongoing issue which involves the ex (which hopefully will be resolved as it should be within the next few weeks), it is mostly worrying about the future and about things which I cannot change and dwelling on how different my life is to what I envisaged that is making me low. A major issue is not having family and many friends around me and this engulfing feeling of loneliness at times, but if I dwell upon these things I know they make me a hundred times worse, so distraction is the key.

Anyhow, I’ve eaten well today and have stuck within my calorie target for the day - am using the nutracheck app to guide me - so am feeling good about that and pleased with myself. I’ve planned my meals and snacks for tomorrow and made DS’s lunchbox too. The school and work bags are as packed as they can be and I’ve planned DS’s meal for tomorrow night. I’d prepped veg for DS’s tea tonight, last night, so he had a good healthy meal and I was less stressed trying to get everything done tonight. Organisation and planning definitely helps me to feel less stressed and more able to cope with doing everything by myself so that must continue to make things easier for myself.

I’ve showered and washed and dried my hair (it’s really long, I’m in dire need of a haircut!) and am sat in bed, ready for another early night.
Tomorrow I will try to keep up the organisation, positive thoughts and healthy eating.

MeandO

£20 overpayment sent to the mortgage.

Steerpike88

Just got through your diary and you've been through a lot but managed to cope so well and do so much! You should be really proud of yourself. Much love to you and your family xxx

MeandO

Thank you for your kind words steerpike xx

MeandO

It’s been a(nother) difficult week and I’m feeling emotionally wrung out, mostly due to ongoing issues with the ex. Dealing with him wears me out. I haven’t slept much for a couple of nights either so I’m hoping for a better night tonight.

Work continues to worry me, or the lack of it. Our department has been extremely quiet for months now with little work coming in. I don’t know how much longer it can realistically go on so I’m focusing on being savvy with my pennies and trying to put money away. If I lose my job I lose the house, it’s as simple as that. My mortgage takes up 1/3 of my income so it will not be easy to sustain those payments for long if my income drops or disappears.

I’ve frozen a few portions of meals this week when I’ve cooked extra or there’s been leftovers and mostly taken lunch and breakfast into work with me to save money. I failed on that front for one lunch and two rolls for breakfast so I need to do better next week.
The diet was going well, but the past two days haven’t been so good. I have stocked up on fruit and veg though, so no excuses.

OH and I picked up lots of frozen bits in aldi which was reduced the other day. We’ve split prawns and fish up into portions and put it in our freezers for later use. They were about 1/4 of the original price so a real good buy.

I returned some storage baskets to Tesco that I’d bought to add storage in the kitchen but didn’t fit the space. I paid £11, using a gift card i’d been given, but the lady refunded it to my bank account which I was pleased with. I also returned some pyjamas I’d been given for Christmas which unfortunately didn’t fit, so I also have a £20 voucher to use in M&S now. I desperately need some new underwear so I may use it for that when I have time and the inclination to browse.

I have spent some money on paint and wallpaper this week. I bought enough paint to hopefully paint my hallway, stairs and landing - all for half price from wilko, so it cost me £36 (with delivery to store), instead of £64.
The wallpaper I’ve been eyeing up for ages was £15 a roll from wilko plus £2 delivery which was too much, but I shopped around and found it for £8.50 a roll on amazon and then £4.50 a roll on the eBay graham & brown shop! So 4 rolls cost me £18 instead of £62 delivered! It will hopefully do 2 rooms too as I’m not using it on all the walls.

DS and I are having a lazy afternoon in the house. He had a busy morning at a sporting event, running round in this freezing weather, so I don’t feel too bad about not doing much this afternoon. We’ve played games and watched tv. He’s happy enough. We’re going to do a bit of baking tomorrow, we have all the ingredients in.

We FaceTimed my family today as my cousin from overseas is visiting and currently staying with my parents. It was lovely to see everyone but it made me really want to be there. There was a house full and everyone was together. It’s the first time we’d FaceTimed my parents as they don’t have smartphones or the internet, but someone there was able to use their phone to do so.

Still not feeling too chipper about things. I feel like I want to make things better and make some changes, but I’m in a catch 22 and not able to do so. I just hope things get better soon.

The weather is wild here with gale force winds again. We are high up and quite exposed so it always makes me nervous when the wind is battering this house as it does so frequently. I hope to god there is no damage.

crazy_cat_lady

Just wanted to send you some love MeandO and let you know I am thinking about you (although that is of no use to you whatsoever)

MeandO

Thank you CCL, it does mean a lot and is always very much appreciated. xx