Is this victimisation or discrimination?

sangie595

nicechap wrote: »

B-


As others have said, its not victimisation or discrimination. Reverse the roles where a new make employee is sexting a female employee who reports the sexting to management. Management decide to get rid of the male. So, in my view you've been treated fairly which, as a "senior employee" and "high earner" you will know.


You seem to have made some major assumptions, especially about him panicking. Can he not just have decided that you were acting inappropriately? You claim there was no investigation - if there was none, why have you been sacked?


You seem bitter they have not taken action against the other party. How would you know that? Maybe he's been given a warning, or had to go on a HR course about inappropriate behaviours. How he's being dealt with is not your concern.


Whether you appeal is entirely up to you as only you know the content of the sexting. Maybe you could use some of that "high earner" money you have saved in paying for a lawyer to draft your appeal to see if that scares them as you do not appear to have mentioned being in a union who might have been able to help.

I'm disappointed. I was expecting around a 2/10 on the scale....

Ladyluck1982

Regarding the sexting, there wasn!!!8217;t any such thing. We had both sent a couple of flirtatious messages back and forth but there wasn!!!8217;t any sexting.

The team that I had spoken to were all colleagues on my level that we were away with. The banter is always very sexual and can be fun, but it ended up that I was being called names and had guys in work asking me for sexual favours, one asked me how much I was charge them all for oral. This was the comments I meant as being over the line. To be clear, these were not my members of staff, these were all managerial colleagues.

Me and the man in question we!!!8217;re both on the same level in work.

There was no investigation, I guess because he!!!8217;s been there longer they!!!8217;ve just assumed he was being honest? I really don!!!8217;t know how this has worked.

nicechap

Ladyluck1982 wrote: »

Regarding the sexting, there wasn!!!8217;t any such thing. We had both sent a couple of flirtatious messages back and forth but there wasn!!!8217;t any sexting.

The team that I had spoken to were all colleagues on my level that we were away with. The banter is always very sexual and can be fun, but it ended up that I was being called names and had guys in work asking me for sexual favours, one asked me how much I was charge them all for oral. This was the comments I meant as being over the line. To be clear, these were not my members of staff, these were all managerial colleagues.

Me and the man in question we!!!8217;re both on the same level in work.

There was no investigation, I guess because he!!!8217;s been there longer they!!!8217;ve just assumed he was being honest? I really don!!!8217;t know how this has worked.

You clearly haven't listened to the advice in this thread so I'll leave you to work out what you are going to do next.

nicechap

sangie595 wrote: »

I'm disappointed. I was expecting around a 2/10 on the scale....

Ahh, but look at the reactions, they've clearly touched a nerve so people have reacted.

Ladyluck1982

I have listened to the advice.

But I have also read comments from people saying that I should not have been sexting a colleague, I was not.

Les79

Sounds like you played the guy like a fool to be honest.

There is an old adage "don't !!!! on your own doorstep", but I don't 100% subscribe to that tbh. If two reasonable, consenting adults on similar grades want to get together in work then go for it! Just have to be professional about it.

In your case, you have basically led the guy on by flirting heavily and then not reciprocating when he made a move. His intentions were very clear (get with you), whereas yours were not (incongruence as you hinted at it but didn't follow through). No doubt in my mind that he was upset about how this all panned out!

I think it would have been (just about) unfair had the guy been sacked, as we are all human and if a woman flirts heavily with him then it is fair game to ask them out.

I think that is is FAIR that you were treated differently, as you effectively manipulated the guy to some extent. You weren't honest in your flirting intentions as you had no desire to follow through when it naturally progressed.

In this instance, I can think of at least one "joke" to make about you right now and it involves guys in senior positions and flirting and your career progression. And I'm just a random third party. That is how you've projected yourself to others, and I'm not in the least bit surprised how this has all panned out!

Consider it a life lesson, be a bit more respectful to yourself and others.

LilElvis

sangie595 wrote: »

I'm disappointed. I was expecting around a 2/10 on the scale....

I'm actually reminded of a fairly recent thread where the OP was the employer (with an outsourced HR) who also sacked the female employee after the male complained. Wouldn't be the first time a similar scenario has been put forward, but from different perspectives, to guage the differences in replies.

Ladyluck1982

I did like him and I definitely did not intend to lead him on. The reason that I did not reciprocate at that particular time was because it transpired that he was already in a relationship and his partner thought something was happening between me and him. I don’t know if she read our messages or what, but that’s why I backed away. I didn’t want to interfere with his existing relationship.

I would never intentially lead someone on, I really liked him. It was just a mess. And the other men on the team were aware that she thought something was going on with us, I wasn’t even aware he was in a relationship with someone.

He has said that I was sending him inappropriate messages and that is just not true.

Cheeky_Monkey

Your employer simply did what almost every other employer would have done - they took the path of least resistance.

Good luck finding another job, I think you might need it.

Smodlet

LilElvis wrote: »

I'm actually reminded of a fairly recent thread where the OP was the employer (with an outsourced HR) who also sacked the female employee after the male complained. Wouldn't be the first time a similar scenario has been put forward, but from different perspectives, to guage the differences in replies.

If you are thinking of the thread I think you are thinking of, LilElvis, was she not the only female in the place and the manager a complete Neanderthal? Of course the sympathy was largely with her. This sounds completely different to me from that situation. Apologies if I am astray in my recollection.