COUPLES! Do you split the bill at a restaraunt?

pogofish

JReacher1 wrote: »

I think it is bullying.

A new poster posts a relationship question on the relationship forum and is then made to feel like they have done something wrong. It is not a nice way to treat new posters.

As a new poster, their clear confirmation of having read and understood the basics of forum choice and use should be pretty fresh in their mind and means that mis-posting should only very rarely happen.

Same with threads (like this one) spammed across multiple forums - Their OPs clearly agreed not to do that. The one in DT should be merged with this one or deleted!

And it is far from unhelpful/bullying to direct someone to the best forum for their particular question as frequently posting in other forums can get them missed completely and almost certainly won't get them the same quality or breadth of advice/experience.

maman

Surely this question is fine here. It's about money in a relationship!


Not everyone decides to pool money just because they're in a relationship. DH and I have been married for years and we don't. Threads appear regularly about this subject.


To answer the question: we split the bill unless it's something like a birthday treat for the other. Sometimes we just use our own cash in the restaurant (generally when we're part of a group and everyone's doing the same) but when there's two of us I put it on my card and we pay 50:50 at the end of the month.

System

JReacher1 wrote: »

Rule used to be if we were out for her family/friends she paid. If we were out with my friends/family I paid. If we were out just the two of us I tended to pay.

We are the same. My partner's family are quite lavish and spend a lot of money on each other, compared to my parents who very rarely go out and don't like to spend much. Consequently, my partner tends to pay the bill with them and/or her brother.


If it's just me and my partner, goes on joint account.

Madbags

Occasionally we alternate who spends on meals

Most of the time though we put it on the joint account. Together we put a couple hundred £ more into our joint account than we need so after all the bills come out we have a float left, which we can either save or spend on joint ventures such as meals.



However, come the end of the month I usually stick an extra £100 or so back into the joint account to top it back up, essentially meaning I paid for the meals.


I don't use that against her in any way, she sees the money go into the account obviously and when/if she asks I say it was for the food and that it was my treat.



I do earn around 5k more than her a year and so I do spend more on us, the house, the pets etc. where I can. We both live comfortably, have personal savings of our own and joint saivngs etc, We have been together 7.5 years now, 4 years of which living together. We aren't married or have children and don't really plan to. Things are just fine the way they are.

Kynthia

misswansea wrote: »

My boyfriend is amused when I ( female, in possession of my own cash, bank cards and discount vouchers) ask for the bill but the staff place it in front of him. The way he rolls his eyes and makes a show if passing it to me is very endearing.
It only happens about 1/5 times but almost never the other way round( if he asks for the bill it is given to him)
I assume that in a busy restaurant they don't always remember who asked, and giving it to him is perceived as most likely to be right, or cause fewer arguments if wrong.

Where staff are traditionally trained, they would know to deliver the bill to the person who asked for it. Handing the bill to my husband when I was the one who asked for it happens much less often than it did 10 years ago.

ska_lover

Sorry but this petty mis-posting hysteria is getting really out hand.

It is an entirely relevant subject, we discuss money within relationships here on a regular basis

ska_lover

emilyinbloom wrote: »

THIS HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE DISCUSSIONS FORUM NOW.

Hi all,

Hope this is the correct thread to post in. I am just interested in your thoughts, it is more a social etiquette question. I guess it isn't strictly money saving (but it could be depending on who pays the bill! :rotfl:)

So, who pays the bill at the end, you or your partner? Does being male really matter? Or, interestingly, who does the waiter/waitress EXPECT to pay the bill.

My boyfriend and I always go halves usually.

No judgement here whatsoever, just interested to see frugality vs gender norms - and what is most common

Hi Emily

Me and my hubby usually take it in turns

I feel embarrassed by the rubbish reception you have had on this site

WibblyGirly

My partner pays for everything out of his account including meals, food shop etc, then I send my half to him at the end of the month when he's totalled the bills up. We will get a joint account soon when I'm working but thats more to take advantage of the interest rates at one bank. We'll always keep our money separate and will send our half of the bills to the joint account so they could out of that. No need for us to merge all our money together.

enthusiasticsaver

We pay out of our joint account if both of us out on a meal. If only one of us it comes from our individual personal spends account.

enthusiasticsaver

Browntoa wrote: »

Should be on discussion time part of the forum , not here

I don't agree. This is a relationship dilemma re how people organise their finances if in a relationship. Why make an issue out of this to a new poster?