Ex Brother in Law Wont Repay Loan

mkooo

Wondering if anyone here has had a similar situation or knows what might be the best solution. Just over a year ago I lent some money to my sister and then brother in law to pay off a loan they had taken out their wedding. Long story short he was cheating around and they split the week after. I have had £200 back from £4230 which he owes me in the year. He!!!8217;s been out of work for maybe 3/4 of the year but was running his own business as well most of that time and during the the time he was in work for obvious reasons been awkward. Mainly because my sister had chosen not to speak to him at all. She has only just completed the basic online form for divorce a month ago but it doesn!!!8217;t as far as I know include the money I lent them both.

I know he in work now and I asked that he would start repaying some more money within just over a month (not a specific amount). I warned him that I would consider the money reclaim service as I have not received any money for nearly a year. I don!!!8217;t know if this would be the best option. He has since refused to pay any money on the grounds my sister isn!!!8217;t speaking to him. I would prefer not to have to pay anything but equally I don!!!8217;t want to let it drag on for years and years.

I don!!!8217;t however know if I would have a claim. Technically their loan I paid was in both of their names. However my sister has worked it that he owes slightly more. There was obviously never a contract, however I do have a years worth of Facebook messages with evidence he owes me money however I!!!8217;m not certain he precisely acknowledged the amount. The other issue is that not all the money came from my account in my name because it was held in my mums account at the time. In case anyone!!!8217;s confused I!!!8217;m 25 currently

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Ms_Chocaholic

Is your sister paying you any of the money back?

Working_Mum

If your sister acknowledges it as a "marital debt" can it be put on their Form E during the divorce proceedings? It would then be split the same way as any other debt/asset during the divorce.

I don't think it could ever be looked at other than 50/50 between him and your sister.

Has your sister started paying you/your Mum back?

I think you need to clarify if it sits anywhere in the divorce process and then get a plan together with dates etc to escalate things - if you go to Court you have to demonstrate a "process" has been followed. All of your FB messages etc are good evidence so make sure they're backed up/printed off somewhere safely.

Try and keep track of his address etc as that'll help if you do go to Court.

It's awful when this kind of thing happens but you may be better to "write it off" in your brain and then anything you do get back is a bonus. Harsh though that sounds.

mkooo

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Is your sister paying you any of the money back?

Yes she!!!8217;s paid most of it back already.

calleyw

You might want to read this


https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5804765/getting-money-back-i-lent-ex-boyfriend


also the better board to have posted this message.



Also don't lend money you can't afford to lose.


Yours


Calley x

NeilCr

Working_Mum wrote: »

If your sister acknowledges it as a "marital debt" can it be put on their Form E during the divorce proceedings? It would then be split the same way as any other debt/asset during the divorce.

I don't think it could ever be looked at other than 50/50 between him and your sister.

Has your sister started paying you/your Mum back?

I think you need to clarify if it sits anywhere in the divorce process and then get a plan together with dates etc to escalate things - if you go to Court you have to demonstrate a "process" has been followed. All of your FB messages etc are good evidence so make sure they're backed up/printed off somewhere safely.

Try and keep track of his address etc as that'll help if you do go to Court.

It's awful when this kind of thing happens but you may be better to "write it off" in your brain and then anything you do get back is a bonus. Harsh though that sounds.

Agree with this. Good advice. I assume your sister would be willing to be a witness which may help?

Here is a guide to the process if you have to go that way

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/legal-system/taking-legal-action/small-claims/small-claims/

You might find a Letter Before Action (LBA) which you should do before going the small claims route will trigger some action. An LBA is asking for the return of your money otherwise you will go to court - best to give a deadline (say 14 days) for a response. Sometimes the threat of court proceedings persuades debtors to pay.

unholyangel

What exactly was agreed at the time the money was borrowed and by whom?

The issue with loans like these is that they tend to be unenforceable because no fixed repayment arrangements were made. The money is usually loaned under the condition of "pay me back when you can" or "pay me back what you can afford" at a push. Obviously that then raises the question of what if they could never afford to pay you back/what if they could only afford 50p a month. You can only vary an agreement (after it has been agreed) with the consent of the other party.

I hope you do get your money back (and personally if it was my sister and my ex....I'd be making sure my sister wasn't out of pocket for doing me a favour, even if that meant paying my ex's "half") but I'd perhaps prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.

DUTR

mkooo wrote: »

Yes she!!!8217;s paid most of it back already.

So why be on the ex BIL's back? You loaned out some money and have most of it back, I don't see the problem.

Ms_Chocaholic

How much was the original loan?
How much has your sister paid back?
How much is outstanding?

mkooo

unholyangel wrote: »

What exactly was agreed at the time the money was borrowed and by whom?

The issue with loans like these is that they tend to be unenforceable because no fixed repayment arrangements were made. The money is usually loaned under the condition of "pay me back when you can" or "pay me back what you can afford" at a push. Obviously that then raises the question of what if they could never afford to pay you back/what if they could only afford 50p a month. You can only vary an agreement (after it has been agreed) with the consent of the other party.

I hope you do get your money back (and personally if it was my sister and my ex....I'd be making sure my sister wasn't out of pocket for doing me a favour, even if that meant paying my ex's "half") but I'd perhaps prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.

It was verbally agreed that it would be paid back to me within 4 years at very most.

Gavin83

How about answering some of the other questions?