Getting money back I lent ex boyfriend

Puffinmonkey

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place. Not sure where it should go. I have foolishly lent my ex boyfriend a total of £7390 over the time we were together roughly a year and 4 months. He was struggling and needed a van for work then it broke and he needed money to fix it. I lent him rent money too plus lots of other things. I have it all written down and most of it will be logged as bank transfers/ transactions. I also have all text messages between us relating to the borrowings. Basically I was foolish and will never lend anyone money again. He agree's to pay me back but he can only manage about £60 a month and it's going to take years not to mention the fact that It makes it very difficult to move on. I am also aware that if for any reason he is unlucky enough to die, I will not get my money back. I am single with 2 young children. At the moment I clean/ waitress and am dinner lady at my childrens school. I get by and do not have any debts but I would like my money back. What on earth can I do to protect myself. I have suggested he find a way to pay me back sooner and he is looking in to it. I know he has every intention of paying me back and does not deny he owes me. I was thinking I could suggest to him to get a loan or a credit card with a money transfer option but as he hasn't had loans before I think he would struggle to get anything. I know there would be fees and interest but I would suggest to him that he needs to deal with that and its not my problem. He is in full time work and renting his own place. I believe his salary is about 18,500. Believe it or not we are on good terms and I feel he would be open to finding a solution to pay me back. Any thought very much appreciated.

DCFC79

Earning that amount surely he can afford to pay you more than the £60 but depends on his other out goings, you will need to consider to write the amount off.

dealer_wins

Chance of seeing your money back less than 0.001%

Write it off and vow to never lend money to anyone, even if they are family, friends or partners!

zippygeorgeandben

I'd write this off and put whatever money he does give you into a fund towards your childrens' future.

Puffinmonkey

Thanks for your replies. Yes I have thought about writing it off. It is very stressful thinking about it all the time. Keeps me awake at night. It would be far less stressful if I just accepted that I've been an idiot and just left it at that. Makes me feel sick though

dealer_wins

Its only money, think about the lovely person he has lost!! x

zippygeorgeandben

Yes - don't waste energy thinking about it. By all means, ask him whether he is willing to a) acknowledge the debt and b) can he give his word he can pay it back but in your own heart, just let it go and move forward.

Puffinmonkey

Yep you are all right. Feeling like a fool but i'll get over it. Makes me want to teach my kids to be better with money than I am and not to be so trusting. Expensive lesson learnt. Thanks again xx

DCFC79

Puffinmonkey wrote: »

Yep you are all right. Feeling like a fool but i'll get over it. Makes me want to teach my kids to be better with money than I am and not to be so trusting. Expensive lesson learnt. Thanks again xx

I bet your not a fool, you did what you thought was best at the time.

Puffinmonkey

Yeah I was definitely a fool for sure but not any more. Actually feel a bit better already x

micky2phones

Hi, the idea about a loan, if you do go down them lines could work out badly for you if he gets a loan.

He may not give you the money, spend it and the small amount of money he gives you now may stop as it goes to paying the loan back