Doing up the House (and me) while doing away with the Debt 29 May 2018 at 11:06AM edited 29 May 2018 at 11:27AM in Debt free diaries 157 replies 11.6K views

in_need_of_direction

You don’t know how those who pass comment on your approach, fund their present purchases

doingitanyway

Great to see your shifting attitude. You are right to be annoyed but they are just not where you are so won't 'get it'
I have subscribed as I am doing what you are but since being here I have become MF and DF.

Good luck. Keep on keeping on. You will get there.

supersaver1000

Welcome INOD and DIA and thanks for your support.

I've recently found myself resorting more and more to fast freezer foods so for my first NY resolution I've decided to take a bit more interest in cooking and am trying to be healthy and frugal. I made a tandoori chicken tonight. Just had to buy the chicken as I had all the rest of the ingredients - spices, garlic, natural yoghurt. I added a bit of salad and some wraps from the freezer. Went down a treat all round and there's a bit left for lunch tomorrow too.

Bought ingredients for a shepherd's pie tomorrow, so will plan to get home promptly from work and start peeling onions and potatoes.

I have about £70 left in the grocery budget at the moment with a bit more expected around the 17th, which should more than cover (fingers crossed).

My second resolution is to try and be more laid back about things. To think about how things make me feel before responding and to bring more positivity to my life. Thought I'd write this down and try and remind myself about it regularly

supersaver1000

So, almost a couple of weeks have passed and I've popped into MSE to try and keep my money saving mojo up. Also, because I feel in some kind of limbo waiting for March to come when I will officially be debt-free for the first time in a very long time.

I managed to fit in a 'work from home' day last week which happened to be on the same day the letter from the loan company came through about my last overpayment. The letter had a telephone number to call for any queries, so instead of making an overpayment to the credit card, I took 5 mins and called the loan company to check the balance required to pay off and heyho I paid off the car loan!!
:rotfl::beer::T:A

This is a very strange feeling. First time I have owned a car debt-free since my teens, when my dad spent £50 on a car for me (it was the 80s and it was a very old car).

But its worth around £6000-£7000, so I suppose I am officially very debt-neutral. Who'd a thought it when I was sat at the computer writing my first thread a few years ago in tears. I've also sent off for an estimate to cash in my pension early next month. It will be a 20% smaller payment, but I've estimated that it will take about 15 years before that has an impact financially i.e. the money I will receive in the next 5 years by taking it early will make up any reduction until I'm 70. By which time both my state and current work pensions will have kicked in. Its not a huge lump sum (about £10k) and a couple of hundred a month pension, but it will make a difference to my life now and will give options. Thinking about investing in a buy to let property as an option (I did look at a newer car yesterday - it would only be where I could top up a few thousand in cash but d'you know this one is absolutely fine and newer doesn't necessarily mean reliable).

I may leave the pension for a bit longer - the longer you leave it the less you lose - until I've decided what to do. Although before I make a final decision I will do some sums on interest etc.

Anyway, by paying my car off I managed to pay off another £14.25, so my total debts now look like this;

Student Loan savings: £500 (to finish paying by April)
Credit Card: £2400 (my last remaining card)
Total of: £2900

As opposed to this.

supersaver1000 wrote: »

So for January 2019 the monthly update of debts is:

Car Loan: £375.51 (just Feb and March payments left)
Student Loan savings: £500 (to finish paying by April)
Credit Card: £2038.74 (my last remaining card)
Total of: £2914.25

I need to look into the student loan payment as I'm saving it in a 5% account - I think the student loan interest is 5.9%. The HMRC only tell the student loan how much I've paid once a year, so when the financial year ends I will get a statement showing what the balance is and I can then pay off what is left on the loan. Hopefully the student loan people then tell HMRC so I won't get any more deductions.

I know I keep saying this, but not wanting to wish my life away, but I really wish the next two paydays and the student loan balance letter would arrive. I really don't know how I'm going to feel.

supersaver1000

Just been having a Sunday morning read through my old thread. Can't believe its only been almost 5 years. Take heart all you MSErs, I was in such a bad place. I can't believe its only taken 5 years to get to a much better place. If only we had started this 20 years ago!

One of my posts made me chuckle but also reminded me of a moment when I turned a corner and it gave me a new willpower to succeed with it and an obviously recognisable strength. It was when I became determined to pay off the debt and be able to be free (DH also recognised it).

DH has been very up and down over the past years. When it was good (usually drink and spending induced) all was very good. But if things didn't go his way then we've had much sulking - which I now know is a way of controlling people. It wasn't helpful for me - its easy to be happy and supportive when times are good, I want someone who can support me when times are bad. He is much better now, but I also have this little thing inside me that isn't quite sure when the next blow up will be - he says he's changed but how can you ever be sure. I need to decide if this is how I want to spend my life for the next 20-30 years (definitely not) and what i should do about it. Apologies, this probably isn't MSE, perhaps I need to find a relationship thread. But when we were so much in debt, I felt that if I left him I would just be in a load of debt with no chance of ever paying if off - I felt truly trapped. While things are good now, I don't ever want to get in that position again so I need to think carefully about investing etc. with someone I don't trust 100% to be a support when they are needed. These are probably discussions I need to have with DH. I want to be honest, open and brave - and enjoy my life. Life is too short to live it any other way.

This is the quote from about 4 year ago:

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Well Mr SS has had a little paddy and stormed off to bed muttering expletives. Behaves like an overgrown child sometimes, there's just no need. Well he can stew until he apologises as I don't have a naughty step. He's too old for this and life is too short for me to want to put up with it any longer. Grow up or ship off :rotfl:

Meanwhile back on planet grown up .... ....... Payday his here tomorrow (Friday). Yayyy. So I will be balancing the books at the weekend. Working my way to debt freedom and freedom. Love it when decisions you've made that you aren't sure about, suddenly become crystal clear. Sorry for cryptics but I know what I mean. I have plenty of patience and a cunning back up plan :rotfl::). Debt free give you wings, sorry, choices :T

Hope everyone else having a great day, without a black cloud in sight

supersaver1000

Look at me posting three times in one day, what a lot is going on in my mind today.

Had a great day today with my bargains. Managed to use up points and money on my Greggs and Iceland cards - and a bit of cash in my purse for dinner.

Got about £23 quid left until payday, which is just about do-able.

I've got my hands on a notebook and have started using it for planning. Never realised I had sooooo many things to do. Managed to cross a few things off today. Hopefully I will get on top of my things to do this year, MSE style of course.

Eager_Elephant

supersaver1000 wrote: »

DH has been very up and down over the past years. When it was good (usually drink and spending induced) all was very good. But if things didn't go his way then we've had much sulking - which I now know is a way of controlling people. It wasn't helpful for me - its easy to be happy and supportive when times are good, I want someone who can support me when times are bad. He is much better now, but I also have this little thing inside me that isn't quite sure when the next blow up will be - he says he's changed but how can you ever be sure. I need to decide if this is how I want to spend my life for the next 20-30 years (definitely not) and what i should do about it. Apologies, this probably isn't MSE, perhaps I need to find a relationship thread. But when we were so much in debt, I felt that if I left him I would just be in a load of debt with no chance of ever paying if off - I felt truly trapped. While things are good now, I don't ever want to get in that position again so I need to think carefully about investing etc. with someone I don't trust 100% to be a support when they are needed. These are probably discussions I need to have with DH. I want to be honest, open and brave - and enjoy my life. Life is too short to live it any other way.
:

I made the decision to end my marriage of 17 years last year, my DH had been a twit for a lot of the marriage but one of the main issues (aside from his messaging to other women:mad::mad:) was his spending, he just couldnt help himself, even when there was no money in his account - I blame ebay and amazon for allowing people to buy things without pre-authorisation check so the items would be sent and then the payment would be taken which took him overdrawn and then I would shuffle money around to make him not overdrawn.
Our whole life was about him having the best of everything:mad: while I was trying to pay off debt and manage the finances.
I know he has depression but there is only so much that can be blamed on that.

My STBEXH also did the sulking thing when ever he did anything wrong and then of course my anger would die down and we would just continue like nothing happened.
Its only since I told him our marriage was over that I realise I was in an emotionally abusive marriage.

Since he has moved out he has struggled with his outgoings as once again he wants everything and if he cant afford it who cares. He bounces all his direct debits:eek:
Finally he realises how much I subsidised him throughout our marriage.

I'm only 38 and I love my single life with only me (and DD and DS) to worry about.
I wish I had done it years ago.

Life is too short to be unhappy - do what you need to do.

supersaver1000

Aww thanks for your reply Eager Elephant. Its exhausting isn't it. And all that shuffling of money around is so wearing. You've just reminded me that one of the turning points for me was giving DH a pocket money allowance so I didn't have to manage his money shuffles. Its such a waste of energy.

That must have been such a hard decision to make, especially with two little ones. I love that you are loving your single life and I will definitely bear it in mind. I've thought about it for a little while and my secret plan was to get out of debt, build a reserve and always be able to stick two fingers up if I wanted to. I'm hoping that things will become clearer over the next 12 months, but I am definitely reserving judgement on tying myself into anything that I can't easily extracate myself from.

Eager_Elephant

DH was also given pocket money that was in a separate account but that was never enough for him and of course the whole Amazon thing allowed him to purchase things without having the money.

Each time I go to his house I notice more new things, not hugely expensive but still lots of new things even though he owes me over £1k. Lets see if he starts paying me next week. He really does have a spending problem, he just cant seem to help himself.

I think it was an easy decision as my kids are older, DS is 22 and DD is 16. If they had been younger I think there would have been arguments over contact and stuff but the kids do what they like.


I agree that you shouldn't make any decisions that would mean you couldn't leave easily. I am so lucky that the house we loved in is rented and in my name only.

supersaver1000

Thank you Eager Elephant. Your posts have really made me think. I've read them a couple of times. I feel like I am just taking my time to understand what I feel and what I want and review all the things that have happened. I don't want to live in the past or live with regrets. But yes, I won't be making any decisions that don't leave an escape route. We live in a rented property as well, I love the house but I also love not being tied down and don't want to change that.

We should be debt-free next month and I want to get to that point and then starting saving, and then just experience that feeling - its been a long time since I knew what that felt like. Who knows what will happen :rotfl: