moneysupermarket + Nuisance calls

anewman

From http://cexx.org/

Having Fun
If you're just bored, you can use sales calls as a form of free entertainment.
Play tele-terrorist and make believe the salesperson is your top-secret partner in crime. Ask him/her where the bomb is located or which governor's daughter you ought to kidnap next.
Get a friend and pretend you're government spooks wiretapping the tele-terrorist mentioned above. Make a tape recording of yourselves--the "agents"--commenting on the conversation, unaware that the 'tapped' party can hear you. Playback the tape during a telemarketing call and act really suspicious. E.g.:

(you and telemarketer are yakking)
(click!)
Agent 1: Got anything on 'im yet?
Agent 2: Sh! They'll hear us!
Agent 1: No way. This is a one-way tap, they can't hear anything.
Agetn 2: Oh. (Matrix-esque not-quite-DTMF tones in background...beepbopboobbeepbip)
Agent 1: Is that xxxxxx on the other end?
Agent 2: No, I don't know who that is. The voice doesn't sound familiar..it may be his new contact.
Agent 1: I heard this guy has over 20 bodies buried in his back yard.
Agent 2: You're shittin' me!
Agent 1: For real. He's wanted on charges ranging from manslaughter to stalking to kiddie !!!!!!. (click!)
Agent 3: Eagle, what's your status?
Agent 1: Nothing yet, at least nothing admissible in court.
Agent 3: Got a trace on the remote number yet? (click!)
You: (interrupting spiel) Hey... do you hear something?
Agent 1: Oh !!!!! I think he's onto us!
Agent 3: ABORT! ABOR...
(click-click!)
Play Tormenting Telemarketers. In this game you rack up points based on how long you can keep them on the line--e.g. how much of the telemarketer's time you can waste. Bonus points for making them repeat themselves, more bonus points for making them mad, still more for making them swear.
See this page on using your answering machine (& favorite pet to foil telemarketers' call-progress monitors and get bounced off their lists as an invalid number. Also, see this fun anti-telemarketing software. "Enigma: Anti-Telemarketing Software guides its users in the fine art of telling telemarketers to stop calling. Simple and fun to use, this program will help provide you with hours of laughs (confused and frightened telemarketers not included)."
Order a pizza. (It doesn't matter that the shmuck on the other end of the line is hocking aluminum siding, ask for pizza anyway
Act interested, but slowly turn down the volume on the phone as you talk (or, failing that, back slowly away from the receiver). The telemarketer will probably turn up his/her headset volume to compensate. Then, when you return to full volume you're sure to come in LOUD AND CLEAR.
Engage in a Reverse Crank Call. Many of these overpaid radio personalities make crank phone calls and play them on the air...while they're celebs and can get away with that kind of thing, the everyday schlob like yourself is not so lucky. Since they called you, however, sales calls are a fun and perfectly legal opportunity to try your hand at crank calls. While not everyone is a Jerky Boy, you can still have fun--here's one of the actual exchanges between myself and TruGreen, a chemical lawn-care service.

Bill: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, this is Tru-Green ChemLawn, blah blah blah you have grass cutworms in your lawn.
Bill: Yes...and?
TM: These grubs are hazardous to your lawn... we are offering a special deal on chemical treatments that will kill...
Bill: Oh, don't worry about them, they don't eat much.
TM: But sir, they'll chew up your lawn and....
Bill: Well, I guess me and them'll just have to get along then...
TM (suppressing laughter): So, you're saying you're not concerned about the grass grubs eating your lawn...
Bill: No, I have my own way of dealing with them.
TM: Really...
Bill: It's a better solution than using chemicals. I just send the wife out to dance naked on the lawn.
TM (trying hard not to crack up): ...And this works?
Bill: Yeah, it seems to take care of the grub problem. Get a few complaints from the neighbors though...
TM (about to lose it): So it kills the grubs...
Bill: No, it just blinds them. When they can't see where they're going, they die off soon enough.
TM: (has totally lost it and tries to talk through peals of laughter)
Bill: ...yeah, I was thinking maybe I could rent her out, maybe you guys could have her out nights and weekends, take care of the rest of the neighbourhood's grubs...
TM: (click!...)

nomoneyprobs

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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Thats brightned up my dull tuesday morning

claire1847

Hi

I got a call the other day from a lady in some far flung continent asking if I won the lottery whether she could call me :rotfl: I think I'm fairly safe as firstly I don't play it and secondly we're about to move - bizzare though!

Someone recently told me about TPS and I just found this in one of Martin's articles:

Under Government regulation it is illegal for companies to call any individual who has indicated they don't want the calls. To do this you simply join the telephone preference service register, it takes about 28 days after registering for all to be stopped.

• Web: www.tpsonline.org.uk
• Phone: 0800 398 893

Sadly this won't stop all calls. If you are being plagued by competition calls however, sometimes these are just the product of random number generators. The best thing to do is to write the number down and then submit a complaint to http://www.icstis.org.uk/ to get it blocked.


You've probably found this already, but just in case, it is very helpful and I get a lot less calls than I did a few months back. And now it will take a while for me to build back the snow of junk mail that comes through the letter box currently at the new place. I scour anything I send off to for the little tick boxes - clearly I've missed a few :rotfl:

Happy sales-calls x Claire