The whimsical tale of the Waterbed of Debt

Butti

I seem to have inadvertently had an NSD. Better go and sign up - for how many though?

I'm not known for my high scores!

beanielou

A NSD is a NSD

Butti

So today I had a telephone call from hysterical owner I used to deal with. Seems in the midst of the hospital /possible cancer / sick leave period I forgot to do something which is not good, but not life or death. It's not a show stopper and it will be okay if she uses the evidence we have given her. She's not one to miss an opportunity to be dramatic though darling. Anyway our legal manager is going to sort tomorrow as long as I do the work currently outstanding to him :beer:. It's a deal!

Had a horrible moment on the phone when I was talking to her so I've just been doing a bit of mindmapping around the emotions I was feeling at that moment. As usual with me it comes down to feeling trapped, trying to avoid angry people and the feeling of guilt. Anyway it may come up in my meeting with my boss tomorrow but I'm not going to cause myself a small hernia by worrying about it. Life is life and I'm not perfect

Was getting advice at the weekend from friends about dropping another friend, we'll call her 'Fear of flying' friend or FOF for short! So the friends I've made from drinking in the local, the ones who test my ability to say "No" (it's definately a gap in my boundaries!) by inviting me for curry after the pub (lovely people but BAAAAD:rotfl:)

So I had been talking (I've just noticed that I am probably one of those people who triggers people who don't like people who start sentences with "So", never mind those who use those people three times in one sentence!). So I had been talking to my drinking mates about my FOF friend who I went to a meal with last Friday.

We turn up last Friday. FOF had announced two days earlier (and too late frankly given the proximity to Xmas :xmastree:(probably just triggered some more people!)) that she didn't want Christmas presents because she couldn't really afford to buy any. Anyway, the others, had had a go about this. I haven't because frankly I listen to this man :money::money::money: and therefore understand about presents and obligation.

So (!!!!) the pressie I had bought for her in the January sale for a fiver could go to someone else (or me even :T. Very nice, I like it a lot!) She brought up the subject of the pressie /non-pressie. I said a bit too quickly "It's fine, I'm giving yours to S*". Which I am and which I don't have a problem with. Anyway she then started on about how the others had started on at her and how she was now thinking she needed to get me something. I said again "No, its fine, I am giving your present to S*". So we sit down and she starts staring at the side of my head. I start deliberately not looking at her and engaging with the others. I get the distinct impression FOF is hunting for an argument.

That meal was on Friday. On Sunday we were going to her house for the annual bauble painting which I quite enjoy (and is a rare art moment for me). There were a couple of things wrong with the meal but nothing major. FOF goes off on one at one of the waitresses about how her "Christmas pudding is the worst Christmas pudding I have ever had. It was really disgusting. It was horrible. etc.etc.etc."
I hate scenes. I really hate scenes at meals because it reminds me of uncomfortable meals at home as a child. I took the opportunity to go down to the waitress and say "My meal was really nice".

As we are all leaving and muttering and discussing, FOF is looking at us and then starts talking about our attitude and something about how unenthusiastic we are about the bauble painting. She tries to have another argument with me about how I never put my name down for it anyway she then declares she is not doing bauble painting.

So I'm now thinking I was right. One of our group already knew FOF wasn't doing the bauble painting about a week ago from a discussion they had with her. As she has a problem with saying No (we can relate on this one! :rotfl:) and feels an overwhelming need to be perfect, she needed to make sure it was something we had done that caused her to cancel the bauble painting rather than her. This was instead of just telling us a week ago with about as much or as little detail as she liked, which we would have accepted because we are her friend. But this way she can maintain her perfection and it can all be our fault.

TBF she did apologise at about 8am on the Saturday, and realised I had booked!

But the drinking friends said, She seems like hard work and a bit toxic, and TBF they are right. I have been distancing myself and may continue to do so. Don't really need people who generate conflict in my life.

I did a brilliant review for the restaurant about how good they are at dealing with difficult customers!!

beanielou

TBF life is way too short to have people like that in your life.
Trust your instincts on this one dear Butti xx

Butti

Butti wrote: »

Need to prepare myself for my one to one on Monday. I am expecting more feedback that I have upset the top boss by resisting the moves to give me all my old work back from 5 years ago. Have had conflicting information from the boss and the one above her on this. Expecting, based on her email to me on Friday, that she is going to try and gas light me and deny she gave me duff information. We shall see.

I think I need to prepare for all scenarios and for finding a new job.

So 6 months ago I got most of my old work back. Yesterday my boss announced that they had secured more of the same and I was the ideal person to deliver this. I tried very hard to convey my lack of enthusiasm in my face. Brexit or no Brexit, a review of my CV and the sharing of it is clearly overdue.

At works do tonight and I will have to be careful with my alcohol intake so as to avoid any unfortunate incidents. TBH would rather not go. Not happy!!!

beanielou

Sorry to read this dear Butti.
Hope last night went ok.

Have you heard from Mr Z?

Butti

Went okay Beanie. I need to wait and see what they want to do with me in the new year.
Haven't heard from Mr Zee since a postcard about 2 months ago..

beanielou

Butti wrote: »

Went okay Beanie. I need to wait and see what they want to do with me in the new year.
Haven't heard from Mr Zee since a postcard about 2 months ago..

Same here.

Butti

beanielou wrote: »

Same here.

May give him a ring.

Butti

Got two of my projects to the start line today and yesterday which is pretty satisfying. Also scored an NSD.

Also got out of work yesterday lunchtime to buy small pressies - have bought really small torches which attach to a key ring. They are from Mountain Warehouse and are 2 for 1. I find it really useful when I am in a dark car park or going round the back of the house to get to yoga.

Not that I spend huge quantities of time in dark car parks you understand :eek::eek::eek:

Our yoga teacher has been on a spirituality course and has come back very spiritual. She says things that really make you think.

Tonights ditty was about how you store negative energy around your lower back and hips. Now, as you may have gathered, I have not been able or not been good at expressing what I consider to be negative emotions. I also have issues with my lower back and restricted flexibility - I am now suspecting the two are related.

Tonight she also gave us mince pies and lovely mulled punch from M&S. I ALMOST forgave her for holding us in pigeon pose for a period that threatened to run into Christmas day! :rotfl:
Pressies to wrap now and a small tree to decorate.