How long before I say goodbye?

sukysue

'Onwards and upwards, maybe you've had a narrow escape?'
THIS!

Ozzuk

I'm with the move on camp. If you pander to this then you are enabling her behaviour, she'll have no reason to change. Life is too short for that kind of hassle.

Being detached from the situation its easy to say this, less easy to do. Maybe tell her you enjoyed being with her, you hoped it would lead to something and you were serious about her, but you understand if she doesn't want to sort things out and therefore wish her all the best. Let her fight for you if she really wants it, not the other way round.

[Deleted User]

How exhausting , I just couldn't be bothered living my life having to justify everything.

WibblyGirly

BBH123 wrote: »

How exhausting , I just couldn't be bothered living my life having to justify everything.

Same! Seems far too much drama having to prove I do like someone.
She needs to work on herself and her self-esteem as it shouldn't be a partners job to fix that.

Pollycat

Somebody who is constantly needing reassurance is likely to be high maintenance from a relationship perspective.
If you're not prepared to live your life on a knife-edge, the answer to the question in the title of your thread is "now'.

svain

She sounds a nightmare ... run for the hills!!

Soos

This exact thing happened to me after a year with someone, out of the blue as you experienced. We limped on, speaking and texting for about 10 days but with no proper explanation given and it was very distressing. I woke up one morning and thought that I really valued myself more than to chase after someone so I started dating someone else who had the self-confidence not to ask if it was rebound and we are still together and happily married now, 17 years later.

See if she comes back to you and giver her 1 more chance but if she doesn't get in touch, keep your head high and your pride intact. This lady has clearly got problems but do you want to spend your time fixing them-because nobody can "fix" somebody else.

lewishardwick

Run!

Sounds like a fruitcake.

Pixie5740

Give her the ol' Spanish archer (El-bow). If she is needy and insecure that's something she needs to work on herself. Being in a relationship with someone that needy and insecure is suffocating and exhausting.

KnightRider

Thanks all - she came over my house last night and the conversation was very positive, she said how much she missed me and even made a comment about how she'd like to meet my friends, etc. but then she just suddenly said that "something" was blocking her and she didn't know what. After talking for 4 hours, having to explain and defend just about everything I've ever said or done...I was feeling pretty tired. I've tried to be understanding here but that's the second evening she has wasted of my time like that!


I do feel sorry for her - she's a great person and I've enjoyed the time I've spent with her but she seems to just over-analyse absolutely everything! I've never known anyone like it!


Anyway, after she left I just sent her a quick message wishing her luck, etc. and she replied saying that she meant that something was blocking her from feeling that it was "the right thing at the moment".


I'll just leave it there, I think!


I'm pretty easy-going and I just like to take people as they are, see where things go and enjoy the journey. I thought she liked me for who I am, all the quirks and everything! At least now I have some sort of closure on it. I really hope she finds what she's looking for, otherwise she's going to end up pushing away person after person! I do feel a bit bad for her.


I am looking forward to having an evening tonight where I can actually do things though!