MMD: Should I leave money to my gambling son in my will?

Red-Squirrel_2

AnotherJoe wrote: »

yeh, its important the people running charities have their massive salaries and pensions propped up rather than your kids get a few quid..

Have I stumbled into Mail Online by accident?

NeilCr

AnotherJoe wrote: »

yeh, its important the people running charities have their massive salaries and pensions propped up rather than your kids get a few quid..

I always support small local charities who are mostly staffed by volunteers. I know what they do and have a pretty good idea where the money is going.

Detroit

Staffybullterrier wrote: »

I totally agree wit Happyinflorida and totally disagree with Detroit.
You should use a solicitor to drip feed your money to your son if you don`t think that you can trust him. I know from experience in our family that gambling addiction is hard to break and if he gets a pile of money in his hand he will not be able to help himself and return to gambling.
Do not give it to charity especially the big ones as they will waste it as well on fancy offices , fancy company cars and 6 figure salaries

It's very difficult to break addiction to gambling, and to other addictions too.

There's very little help out there for people struggling, and their families, who also feel the impact.

What help there is increasingly comes from charities.....

lwilliams16

I am a professional Willwriter and I would recommend having a Will with a discretionary trust in. Your son can be a beneficiary so would have use of the assets within the trust but your appointed trustees would have control of the trust in order to look after the money for your son. This way he can benefit but not waste the money. However, you do need specialist advice regarding these trusts as there is more to them that what I have briefly mentioned here. There is also another option to look at called a family protection trust (also known as an asset protection trust).

I recommend looking on the Institute of Professional Willwriters website. You can input your postcode and it will show you the members that are local to your area. The willwriter should come out to your own home to see you rather than you having to go to an office and they will most likely be cheaper than a solicitor and have more expertise as all we focus on is this area of law. If you would prefer I am happy to provide further information, my company is called Amba Legal Services, and our number is 01299 251442. I am unable to provide a link for the website but we do have quite a nice simple one with more information

Edit: These trusts are also great if he were to become bankrupt from his gambling addiction. The money in the trust is protected against bankruptcy as it is held in the trusts name rather than owned outright by your son.

refinnejks

I’ve read through all the comments and am pleased to see a discretionary trust recommended. If you don’t want family members as trustees then organisations like Mencap Trust Company can hold the discretionary trust and have a board of trustees.

JayD

Nowhere near enough info to make a call on this!

How old are you? Are you in poor health? How old is your son? Is he married? Does he have children? How much money are you likely to be leaving?

All the above are relevant to any answer of any value that I can give.

However, I will say this:
When I was 16, I was always going overdrawn on my bank account just before my pay went in each month. I would then get a letter from the bank, asking if I would like to cover the overdraft with a transfer from my savings account. This confused me, as I didn't have a savings account! So I arranged to see the bank manager to find out about it. My mother then confessed that SHE had opened a small savings account for me in secret, as a safety net should I ever really need a little bit of money in an emergency. This both shocked and touched me - and I didn't go overdrawn ever again. So maybe, if you left the money in your will that you would like to, to your son, with a heartfelt letter about how you want it to help him get through the tough times that he is bound to face in his future, he might have the same epiphany that I did.

You can't live his life for him - you can only do what causes you the least stress.

Norma_B

I find these comments really interesting because I have 2 children one of whom is married and the other still living at home (and looks like he may never leave!!). The married one has stated categorically that she has no intention of having children and the other one never leaves his room! We have given both of them quite substantial sums of money over time which they've never asked for and always been very good with (and we've never harped on about after) but I started panicking that if anything ever happened to our daughter our hard earned cash could end up in the hands of her husband's side of the family (despite all our efforts he doesn't seem to like us very much!). Then I sat back and thought 'so what? we're not going to be around to care and really how arrogant is it to dictate from beyond the grave?
My daughter and son-in-law both have good jobs and earn good money but my son is on minimum wage so we thought about leaving them different amounts but then decided you don't use your will to even out differences do you? We love them equally and they're all good people so we'll treat them equally. What does wasting an inheritance mean anyway? If they spent every penny on wining, dining and holidays they'd hopefully have wonderful experiences to remember!!

[Deleted User]

Easy - you control the assets you give. (although this can come with clauses)

I've had my own home for nearly 3 years (the proceeds of my childhood home as I couldn't stop my parents selling in advance and them downsizing) I'm well aware what would happen if I go not paying bills. Responsiblilities either make or break someone.

I see more of my parents now then when I was younger. As soon as they helped me tragedy struck anyway so it isn't always black and white.