MMD: Should I leave money to my gambling son in my will?

Former_MSE_Naomi

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My son has racked up over £2,000 in credit card debt through a gambling addiction. He has stopped betting but admits he'd likely waste any money I left him. I don't want to leave him out of my will but I also don't want to allow him to get into more gambling debt.

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hazyjo

How much money are you talking about?


Presuming you're not terminally ill, I'd park this one for a few years.


He's likely to settle down and hopefully things will change. You say he's stopped, so he is likely to be more responsible with money, not less (obviously again presuming he's not say 50+ already!).


Anyway, define 'waste'. People spend money differently. Up to him really what he does with it if you're going to leave it, unless you're going to have to approve everyone's choices in advance...

m1kjm

We're used to these so-called dilemmas being bad but this has to be the worst one yet:

Should I enable someone's addiction?

Umm, no.

LadyDee

If I thought my hard-earned would end up in the pocket of a bookie every penny would be left to my favourite charity.

buildersdaughter

And it depends on ways around it. Could it, for instance, be left directly to his children (we don't know if he has any)?. Could he be left a dwelling in a trust, that he can't raise money on? Unlikely as there must be at least 2 siblings - but I have known this done.
I agree with parking it for awhile if at all possible. Dying intestate is only a major problem (I accept it can be a nuisance) if you don't want the inheritance to go according to intestacy rules.
However, there may come a point where you have to make a leap of faith if he seems to have dealt with his addiction, and time is pressing.

silvercar

You never know how the future will pan out when you are not around.

Leave everything equally to all your children and let them take responsibility for their own actions.

MothballsWallet

Also, if the OP is in Scotland, it may still be illegal to disinherit their child (or at least subject to legal challenge).

Money_maker

Just leave him his share. What he does with it is up to him. You wont be around to worry about it anyway.

Detroit

No.

Nobody should leave anyone any money in their will. You should spend what you need during your life and leave what's left to charity.

Any money your son wants or needs, for gambling or any other purpose, he should earn himself.

nardocott

Whilst I wouldn't want to see someone suffer as a result of leaving them money I would be thinking are there ways to give them something. To that end I would be thinking can I make arrangements to pay toward a bill/mortgage/credit card/debt or set up an arrangement so that they get a smaller amount regularly which may not cause them to fall off the wagon as it were. Talking to the person has got to be the first call on this one as it is a sensitive subject and coming into a large amount of money might cause a relapse whilst a small regular amount might not. Another option, if possible would be to arrange to put it into their pension (if this is allowed/possible) meaning they can't blow it but would benefit in the long term.

Vanillamiller

Dad considered brother to be an alcoholic and other brother a spendthrift also had separated from my mother just not legally he hated her so he made a new will that was not equal to all children and wife the will got challenged and most of the money went to the solicitors to sort it out the bill is around 35k my dad also left half the house but the incompetent solicitor never did the severance so the will failed on the property
There is more to this story but having lived it in such a personal and dramatic way my advice would be give it away now to the people that you love so you can what them enjoy it and pay his bills off and help him be more money conscious your son is a product of you and you are his parent