MMD: Should I leave money to my gambling son in my will?

REJP

If he really wants to stop gambling point him towards Gamblers Anonymous.
I will treat my children as equals in my will, I cannot decide for them what they spend the money on when I am dead, that will be their right to spend or save.
Don't try to control from the grave.
I totally agree with archie 1411.

crmism

Why not give your son a life interest in the money, rather than an outright gift?

That way, he will have no control over the capital sum, only the income it produces. You could make a further provision in your will to the effect that, on his death, the money will go somewhere else - a charity, say, or the other legatees who survive him.

Doing it that way, you can go to your grave knowing that you did what you could to curb his profligacy, and such a measure will surely help your son to understand the value of money and the pointlessness of gambling.

doctorblunkett

tain wrote: »

What's bad is having to read this drivel on every single dilemma. This is actually a fantastic, complex dilemma. I find it flabbergasting that some people have so very little to do with their time that this is the highlight of their morning.

100% agree. it boggles my mind that not only do they keep coming back, but that they seem to complain about it every single time.

top tip: if you don't like reading something, stop reading it.

SunnyBunny

I think that leaving money to relatives is a real dilemma, unless you disribute equally there is always a bit of a drama. In my family we were lucky enough to receive an equal inheritance and one family member had an alcohol addiction - when they got their share they did not use it all on booze - in fact they were quite careful with it and when they sadly passed away (not, surprisingly, from alcohol caused illness) they were able to leave their 2 children a nice amount of money.

Another friend's father sold the family house and gave one sibling a large amount double figures and the other sibling much smaller single figure amount - they did not fall out but it left a bit of a nasty feeling for a while.

The nicest story from a woman I worked with, when she and her husband decided to give her younger son a big deposit on a flat, the older daughter was totally in agreement -- she was successful and comfortablely off - this doesn't always happen - sometimes those with the most still want what they see as "their share".

Pdbaggett

Simple? Do you have a problem with gambling ? If yes then he gets nothing if no then leave him his fair share.

chamagirl

Make sure you live life to the full, go on a cruise or holidays and enjoy your money, then there will be less to leave to anyone.

gloriouslyhappy

Gambling is a horrible addiction, and like any other addiction, you never get over it, you just learn to manage it, if you're lucky and have plenty of support. Addiction has potentially devastating consequences for families not just the individual concerned, so inheriting a large sum of money might cause real problems. If it were me, I would look into other options such as a trust fund paying out a small regular monthly allowance, or the purchase of a house or flat where they - and their family if they had one - have right of abode for life but cannot sell or raise a loan on it, or something similar.

My preferred option would be to secure a residence for them so whatever else happened, they and their dependants would have a guaranteed roof over their heads. Quite a few posters think the money should be given outright and let them do what they want with it, but that might be like giving an alcoholic the keys to the local off licence, not a good idea to my way of thinking. If the money went towards their dwelling place, that would free up what they're now spending monthly on rent or mortgage so they would still have the choice of what to spend these freed-up funds on.

There is help out there for addiction, but gambling is a particularly insidious addiction, and having stayed up late to watch the cricket from down under, I am totally horrified at the plethora of late night gambling company ads all over the television and think the so-called 'industry' should be regulated more, especially as people are more vulnerable in the wee small hours when not many support networks are available. 'When the fun stops, stop' is a pretty useless way to end all these gambling ads, it's way too late for that.

Cimscate

This is tricky but a bit of a minefield - where do you draw the line at deciding how children will spend their inheritance. Maybe talk to him explaining your reservations and set a time limit where you help to manage the addiction and pay for help he needs.

Staffybullterrier

I totally agree wit Happyinflorida and totally disagree with Detroit.
You should use a solicitor to drip feed your money to your son if you don`t think that you can trust him. I know from experience in our family that gambling addiction is hard to break and if he gets a pile of money in his hand he will not be able to help himself and return to gambling.
Do not give it to charity especially the big ones as they will waste it as well on fancy offices , fancy company cars and 6 figure salaries

AnotherJoe

Detroit wrote: »

No.

Nobody should leave anyone any money in their will. You should spend what you need during your life and leave what's left to charity.

Any money your son wants or needs, for gambling or any other purpose, he should earn himself.

yeh, its important the people running charities have their massive salaries and pensions propped up rather than your kids get a few quid..