Awful situation currently

Flugelhorn

can be useful to get them to look at the issue of losing capacity as it can happen suddenly to a younger person by accident eg RTA, head injury, stroke. They may understand that in those circumstances it is better to have someone / some people you trust to make decisions for you / handle your finances etc and this is the way you get the chance to decide who those people are

Margot123

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

If they are of sound mind and reasonable intelligence its a very straightforward concept, it just needs to be explained clearly. My grandparents and parents all have them sorted.

That is a generalisation. Not everyone is the same, even if of 'sound mind' and 'superior intelligence'.
Not as straightforward in every circumstance.

Larac

Flugelhorn wrote: »

can be useful to get them to look at the issue of losing capacity as it can happen suddenly to a younger person by accident eg RTA, head injury, stroke. They may understand that in those circumstances it is better to have someone / some people you trust to make decisions for you / handle your finances etc and this is the way you get the chance to decide who those people are

Would very much agree with your comment. We ended up going through a solicitor for a POA as my dear old Mum was on the edge of heading towards' a downward spiral into Dementia. Best to do this document when of sound mind and then if your children need to act, they have the tools. Could be sitting in the file for years before needing to be activated (if at all). Dementia seems to run through my family, so we are all very switched on to sorting this out, well before hand after the experience with my dear late Mum.

Kynthia

The POA for health and for financing would make it clear to people who the grandparents would like making decisions for them when they can't. Otherwise it's likely the son as next of kin will be doing so.

elsien

Next of kin has no legal standing in terms of decision making.

Margot123

elsien wrote: »

Next of kin has no legal standing in terms of decision making.

While that may be true in some circumstances, I have been surprised by how many times anyone volunteering as 'next of kin' is asked to make decisions (even for those with full mental capacity).

elsien

I agree that NOK are often asked. My point is that they don't have legal authority to make decisions just because they've identified themselves as next of kin. Hospitals are particularly bad in that respect.

Red-Squirrel_2

Margot123 wrote: »

That is a generalisation. Not everyone is the same, even if of 'sound mind' and 'superior intelligence'.
Not as straightforward in every circumstance.

I said reasonable intelligence, why did you change that?

Larac

elsien wrote: »

I agree that NOK are often asked. My point is that they don't have legal authority to make decisions just because they've identified themselves as next of kin. Hospitals are particularly bad in that respect.

My experience of NOK at the hospital - is that 'anyone' can declare this without validation. My Mum was very seriously ill and subsequently died - during the process - I was never asked to validate who I was. I was asked a number of questions around EOL -she had signed a POA (Health) so we were aware of her wishes.I would urge anyone to make sure they know what there intended loved one wishes are. In the last year of my Mums life I was asked at least three times whether in 'the event' she should be revived

Yorkshireman99

Larac wrote: »

My experience of NOK at the hospital - is that 'anyone' can declare this without validation. My Mum was very seriously ill and subsequently died - during the process - I was never asked to validate who I was. I was asked a number of questions around EOL -she had signed a POA (Health) so we were aware of her wishes.I would urge anyone to make sure they know what there intended loved one wishes are. In the last year of my Mums life I was asked at least three times whether in 'the event' she should be revived

I reently was taken to A&E and spent twelve hours there. I was asked who my next of kin was. He is well aware of my wishes but these count for nothing unless a DNR declaration has been completed and the hospital notified. There is an aditional problem that the ambulance crew may not be aware of the DNR and they told me that their instructions are that they will attempt it unlees they have a written DNR. The crew I spoke to said that they were very unhappy with the rule and the risk of disciplinary action if they ignore it. Few people realise quite how brutal the process can be particularly with elderly and frail patients. Quite apart from the risk of breken ribs and other injuries DPR is not the universal panacea that many perceive it to be.