I can't stay with my husband anymore.

TBagpuss

You might want to ask for the thread to be moved to the 'Marriage, Relationships and families' section of the board.

You don't have to move out, - you could propose that your husband does so, and could then consider whether it would be practical for you to take a lodger to assist in covering the bills.

Alternatively talk to local agents to see what options may be available to you - a house share or living as a lodge is likely to be cheaper than renting a whole property, but either way you are likely to need money fr a deposit, first month's rent etc, so you may need to save a bit or ask your husband to help, before you move.

I'd suggest that you arrange to have an initial meeting with a local solicitor - many offer an initial hour or half hour for free - and you can search for local solicitors with experitise in family law at https://www.resolution.org.

Cheeky_Monkey

You will probably have to work full-time then if you insist on moving out (which you don't have to do) and you also don't have to send £200 to your parents in another country until you are back on your feet financially.

You would stand very little chance (if any) of getting social housing as you appear to be a low priority.

Comms69

9rl0f wrote: »

Hello everyone,
I just found out that my husband has been having an affair for a number of years and also has a young child and I'm so angry and sad that I can't stay under the same roof as him but I don't know where to go. He also basically said that he doesn't give a damn if I leave the house.

I currently work part time in an agency and make about £800-£900 a month after tax and I've been looking at single rooms in the area but the minimum price seems comes to at least £500 a month. I also have to send about £200 to my family who I look after.

My husband and I currently rent a house where he pays the rent and I pay the bills and other household things.

I'm just looking for some advice on what I could do? Could I go and talk to someone at the council or citizens advice?

Some advice would be really nice. Sorry if this is posted in the wrong part of the forum, I wasn't fully sure about which section would suit better.

Thanks for reading.

Well the obvious answer is you cant afford to leave. so don't.


Sorry I know that's harsh, but literally your figures don't add up.

Brock_and_Roll

There are plenty of people that would be delighted to have a hard working [i.e. not around much!] & reliable middle aged single female as a lodger. When we used to have lodgers, it would have ticked all of our boxes assuming the OP is not into smoking & drum & bass!

lisyloo

and you also don't have to send £200 to your parents in another country

I don't think we can judge that.
They might live in a country without a welfare state. This might be essential to them.

EachPenny

Before looking at moving out and finding a new home, the first priority should be protecting your finances.

Do you have any joint debts, credit cards, accounts, or savings? Would you be liable if your husband stops paying the rent? Is there money owed on any of the utility bills? How much of the rental deposit have you paid?

The details of these questions would be better raised in the 'Marriage, Relationships and families' board as TBagpus suggests.

If you don't already have one, then I would make opening a sole-name current account my priority for today and then start looking at getting my income payment (wages, benefits etc) transfered over to the new account.

Cheeky_Monkey

lisyloo wrote: »

I don't think we can judge that.
They might live in a country without a welfare state. This might be essential to them.

That's irrelevant. The OP merely 'chooses' to send that money to her parents to help them out. I am pretty sure she has no legal obligation to do so.

AdrianC

Perhaps your soon-to-be-ex could move in with his other family...?

Mind you, you're still going to need to pay for your accommodation/food/everything - so sounds like your luxury of being only PT is going to have to change. If your agency can't up your hours, it's time to start looking for another job. In the meantime, explain to your parents that money's tight for a bit.

cashbackproblems

you have no assets such as property and it sounds like husband probably doesn't have much wealth, so it doesn't look good, as mentioned you can become a lodger until you get back on your feet but even then long term you are probably too old to get a mortgage etc so maybe save and look to emigrate where you daughter etc lives, im guessing somewhere in Asia?

lisyloo

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

That's irrelevant. The OP merely 'chooses' to send that money to her parents to help them out. I am pretty sure she has no legal obligation to do so.

Agree there is no legal obligation but they may otherwise starve to death (we don’t know). Some people might consider that a family obligation and not much of a choice.