Wife sending post back to sender

doingitforthekids

Hi all. The letters are irrelevant.

I just wanted to know if it was legally right. Mostly just credit card bill etc that are payed online so not a problem.

I am not in debt, or using the address to gain credit. I am trying to do the right thing for my children and provide them with a stable and secure place to live. I could of just stopped paying the mortgage and the family debt and walked away, which is my eyes is not fair on the children.

I cant afford to keep paying the existing debt and rent a flat so my children can stay with me. It's not a nice place to be for them, let alone me.

I'm just glad I am no longer the victim of her coercive abuse and my children are ok.

Thanks again

Mojisola

doingitforthekids wrote: »

Me and the wife separated a year ago after she found a new boyfriend. She got more and more abusive and felt i had to leave the family home for the sanity of my four children age 6, 13,14 and 16.

doingitforthekids wrote: »

I'm just glad I am no longer the victim of her coercive abuse and my children are ok.

Are they okay with her?

Wouldn't they be better off with you as the resident parent?

doingitforthekids

Yes, I would have them, unconditionally. I offered her that. Without fighting her through courts it would be unachievable.

Social services don't want to know, I have been in contact with them for advice and also the children's schools.

Comms69

Rubik wrote: »

She would be "breaking the law" if she was opening mail addressed only to you - she's not "breaking the law" by returning post addressed to someone who no longer lives in that house- and hasn't done for at least a year.

Try focusing on the important stuff - sorting out arrangements for children, sorting out the finances and the divorce so that you can make arrangements for finding somewhere more permanent to live.

One day, you will back at this issue, and realise it is small beans in the grand scheme of all things divorce.

No she wouldn't.

Takeaway_Addict

Rubik wrote: »

She would be "breaking the law" if she was opening mail addressed only to you - she's not "breaking the law" by returning post addressed to someone who no longer lives in that house- and hasn't done for at least a year.

Try focusing on the important stuff - sorting out arrangements for children, sorting out the finances and the divorce so that you can make arrangements for finding somewhere more permanent to live.

One day, you will back at this issue, and realise it is small beans in the grand scheme of all things divorce.

Unless its changed recently you are only breaking the law in opening someone elses post if it is to the detriment of them

Savvy_Sue

Slinky wrote: »

My friend used have her credit card bill sent to her work address.

If it's a work credit card, it makes a lot of sense to do that.

Before getting post forwarded to mum, check her situation. If she is claiming single person discount on the council tax, using her address could cast doubt on that claim.

pollyanna24

My ex did a similar thing to me as what you are doing to your ex.

He kept his new address from me for a good while, probably thought that I would go round and cause a scene or something with his new girlfriend.

But, in hindsight, it's not something I would put up with now. It's not fair on your ex to not know where you live, but you know where she is. You may have your reasons, but as we only know you through cyberspace, we can't comment.

I hated that he knew where I was, but I wasn't granted the same privileges. And in effect, I didn't know where my children when they were with him.

And yes, it did cause problems when he had stuff like parking fines and speeding fines coming to my house cos he wasn't paying them etc. I did hand over his post for a while, but after a while it grated, cos he didn't live with me any more.

And yes, I did get investigated by tax credits at a time when I desperately needed them as he had just left me.

To be fair, when he left, he didn't have any rights to the house as he was bought out, but you don't live there. It's not your primary address and that is what is asked for when you are asked for your address for anything.

Think about it from her view. If it really is that hostile, she could literally do what she wants with any important post. Whether it's legal is by the by, who's to say that really important letter you are waiting for didn't "go missing in the post."

Comms69

pollyanna24 wrote: »

My ex did a similar thing to me as what you are doing to your ex.

He kept his new address from me for a good while, probably thought that I would go round and cause a scene or something with his new girlfriend.

But, in hindsight, it's not something I would put up with now. It's not fair on your ex to not know where you live, but you know where she is. You may have your reasons, but as we only know you through cyberspace, we can't comment.

I hated that he knew where I was, but I wasn't granted the same privileges. And in effect, I didn't know where my children when they were with him.

And yes, it did cause problems when he had stuff like parking fines and speeding fines coming to my house cos he wasn't paying them etc. I did hand over his post for a while, but after a while it grated, cos he didn't live with me any more.

And yes, I did get investigated by tax credits at a time when I desperately needed them as he had just left me.

To be fair, when he left, he didn't have any rights to the house as he was bought out, but you don't live there. It's not your primary address and that is what is asked for when you are asked for your address for anything.

Think about it from her view. If it really is that hostile, she could literally do what she wants with any important post. Whether it's legal is by the by, who's to say that really important letter you are waiting for didn't "go missing in the post."

Sorry just legally there's a number of issues with your post.


1: You aren't entitled to his address, and if you had moved he would not be entitled to yours. Obviously you cant erase knowledge.
2: You have no right to know where your children are, in the same way that if you were to take them out for the weekend he would have no right to know what you were doing.
3: When asked for addresses, there is never a question of 'where do you live'; in fact in many cases it's a contact address - including driving licence.


I agree with you on a purely moral / keep life peaceful and calm point of view, but wanted to expand on some key points