Wife sending post back to sender

doingitforthekids

Hi everyone.

This sounds bizarre but I can't seem to find info online to help with my problem.

Me and the wife separated a year ago after she found a new boyfriend. She got more and more abusive and felt i had to leave the family home for the sanity of my four children age 6, 13,14 and 16. Her mother and grandfather have also threatened me, her mother when i was there for my daughters 6th birthday.

She is stlll living in the family home which we jointly own. She wants my new address which is only short term and after the way I have been treated am not willing to give it to her.

She has told me that the tax credits people need it without offering me any proof. I have told her to give me their details and I will contact them but she is unwilling and abusive.

We own the house in joint names but she has been sending back my post as "no longer living here". This has caused repercussions at work with company credit cards etc and is causing me a lot of stress. Luckily my boss is understanding and has tolerated the extra grief from the credit card company.

Who's right legally? As i have no fixed address this is the only address I can have mail sent. Can she legally write on my post and put back in the post box?

There is no info online,failing to go to a solicitor which i cannot afford. Any help from anyone who has been in a similar position would be great.

Thanks in advance

kingfisherblue

Is there another address that you can use? Maybe a parent or sibling?

My ex left our family home thirteen years ago. For the first five years, I passed on his post. Siunce then, I have returned to sender.

Also, having post going to the family home, when you do not live there, might have repercussions on benefits. It can suggest that she is not a single parent and that you are still financially attached. For tax credits, I was asked to provide my ex's address so that a single claim could be processed. I couldn't give them an address, beyond the name of the town that he moved to. This did cause problems, and I can't remember how it was resolved. I think that he had to ring them or write to them, with an address where he could be contacted. I know that initially he gave his parents' address, and post went there for at least two or three years. It was the address that he gave to the CSA (as it was then), and his parents mentioned a few times about 'official looking' letters for him. He only picked them up once a week, due to living further away.

Slinky

My friend used have her credit card bill sent to her work address.

Rubik

If you are unable to use a friend's or relative's address to redirect your post to until you ahve a more permanent address of your own,; perhaps consider a P O Box. It's not free, but it does mean that you can receive all of your post. Even if your wife is returning your post to the original sender, there's no assurances that that she's not reading your post first.....

System

Use a c/o address. Using your Mum, your brother/sisters address until you get on your feet. Your going to have to change it at some point.

How about having your mail redirected?

hazyjo

I think you can also arrange to collect it from a Post Office.

pmlindyloo

It appears that your wife has now put in a claim as a single person for tax credits.

To prove that she is single she has no show that you have no financial attachment to her (other than child support/mortgage payment)

If your post is still going to the house, particularly work connected post and bank statements, then this would show a possible financial connection to her.

She is making the claim so they need the information from her.

That is why she has been sending the post back to show there is no continued connection.

Tax credits can be very strict about this and can hold up a claim while they investigate.

You may feel very annoyed with your wife but tax credits are awarded to increase the family income level to a certain standard to ensure that your wife and children have sufficient for their needs.

Think of your children, not your wife and get everything moved to another address as per suggestions above.

suejb2

There's redirection for £66 for twelve months where post will be redirected to another address or there's keepsafe for £44 for 66 days. Then there are several p.o box options: deliver,collect, transfer and locked box.

Look on https://www.royalmail.com for receiving mail.

Red-Squirrel_2

If you don't live there anymore, its not really a good idea to have your post sent there, especially when its important stuff and your wife is hostile. Its not fair to her and it leaves you quite vulnerable!

I agree that you should either set up a PO Box or have your post sent as 'c/o' to the address of a friend or relative you trust and who doesn't mind looking after it for you.

doingitforthekids

Thank you for your prompt replies.

I am more than happy to talk to anyone from the benefits departments regarding the situation. My wife knows that. She also has my mums address, my mobile number and my works address if she needed to give it to anyone.

I am still supporting her financially, I am paying off the credit card debt of 20K which she has refused to pay as it is in my name. I also pay a big proportion of the mortgage. Like I said I have not run away from the situation, only her coercive abuse.

The issue is as i still legally own the house with my separated partner, I am allowed to use that as my address?

Thank you

Rubik

Ownership isn't the issue - the fact is that you no longer live there, and Red-Squirrel points out, it's not fair on your partner - and it does leave you vulnerable. You really do need to make alternative arrangements for receiving your post.