Daughter due to start school in Jan,wondering whether to put it off untill sept-Advic

anonymousie

Hi lots of good info here already. However reading your first post I do wonder how much of your anxiety, whilst progested onto your DD) is actually YOUR fears for you??

You seem to feel you will be "redundant" when she goes into education. You have had her in pre school but actually have kept her home/with you a lot of the time anyway.

Do you not feel that she may be better off going in with her peer group in Jan, particularly as it is a small school etc. She will haev plenty of time to play and socialise-foundation stage is not ridgid education. Otherwise she will have to "hit the ground running" in year 1- fit into a group who are already closely bonded and know the school and system inside out.

Just because you don't like the teacher as a person doesn't mean they can't teach effectively (you obviously trusted her with you lads after all)..

Yes it is your preogative to keep her home and home ed if you wish, but just think about the benefits/disadvantages for her-she does need to learn to function without you and to geradually stretch her wings really. Obviously you could keep her home for ever and home ed all through, which is a choice, but by going into reception at 4.5yrs it is not an unreasonable start to the UK school system (Yes I know about later starts being no worse academically etc on the continent, but that is where EVERYONE starts at the same time..).

In Brum, she would have been scheduled to start in sept so would have already have half a term under her belt!

Mojisola

Your daughter doesn't have to go to school at all. Have you thought about home schooling? See https://www.education-otherwise.org

Peakma

Well the day is nearly here....She is starting on Tuesday.
I am a lot more comfortable about her starting, than I was when I started this thread.She has grown up a great deal since then,she is more confident with other adults,she recognises most letters,can count to 10+,and her drawings are getting quite intricate,and she is an absolute whizz on the computer(its almost scary!)So I guess she is what would be classed as "ready".She also had two taster sessions,which she seemed to really enjoy.I was concerned she might want me to stay,but she let me go without any fuss.
I am being positive about it all,and she seems o.k with the whole idea.
I am still a little concerned if she will be totally warn out by the end of the week,as her school jumps straight into full days.Which is quite a big change to what she's used to.
I still think they are too little for this,but she is really smart and wont struggle on that front.I'm more concerned she will be bored.The only thing that worries me a little is her speech,some people still dont understand what shes saying e.g ;
think=sink
drink-dink
she cant say th,and r's usually come out sounding like "w"
She also still gets her bum wiped and refuses to do it herself-which is getting ridiculous as she stopped using nappies before she was 2(when is the usual age for kids to go to the toilet and manage alone?)

Personally I feel quite sad about her starting,I remember school feeling like a life sentance,and I will really miss spending our days together,she is my best mate(I have two sons,and I love them equally to her!),my last baby is a school girl,its the end of an era.I've been a stay at home Mum for over 9 years,I was only 21 when I had my first,and prior to that had never really had much work experience-I was a Nanny for a few years,and did a bit of cafe work.I only have GCSE's.
I don't really know what to do next,the thought of a boring low paid job is not very inspiring,some how I need to be a millionaire!!
First jobs I've got to do are all the things around the house I just haven't had time to do previously, sifting, sorting, de-cluttering,decorating, gardening,selling stuff on ebay etc I'm really looking forward to sorting all this stuff out,as it is seriously piling up and driving me rather mad.
And when I've got stuck into that I want to make some time to be creative,and maybe write some kids books,I'd also like to start a new business venture,but don't really know where to start! Whether I should just make a good plan,take out a loan and jump in at the deep end,or whether to go back to full time education,but doing what ,I don't know!!

Penry

Just wanted to say good luck for tuesday! and I think it's great that you're able to be so positive for your little one. My eldest is same age as yours, but we're in scotland and she won't start full time school till august. She sounds very similar to mine - including with the bum wiping - something I'm meaning to take on in the New Year.

I hesitated sending mine to pre-school (part time attached to the school) because I worried she wasn't ready but she absolutely loves it. In hindsight it was totally me who wasn't ready to say goodbye to playgroup. Your daughter sounds like she's ready for a new challenge, and if she's happy to be left thats a huge achievement. Good luck, hope it goes well for both of you - and hope you find what new challenge you're ready for too!

cazziebo

I really envy you Peakma - what an exciting time in your life and the opportunities are endless! i would guess that if you've managed without a salary then there is no need for you to take on a job just for basic rate pay.

Why not take a few weeks to get the stuff sorted you want to, and then go along to business gateway (or whatever it's called - govt funded local enterprise agency) and get some ideas from there. You could have a look at some short courses to see if anything there interests you. You could even sign up with some temping agencies and get some short term work to see how that feels. The world is your oyster!

Good luck for Tuesday

XX

Js_Other_Half

Good luck for Tuesday. One of my friends 4 year old started in September with issues around bum wiping - she got the moist toilet tissue wipes (with the plastic closer on them) from Asda, and he goes to his school bag to get one or two when he knows he needs to have a bowel movement.

scrimpingbadger

You would be very surprised that children who won't do X, Y znd Z at home usually do at school - the positive power of peer pressure! Mums have told me 'Freddie won't eat fruit at all' and then I've turned round to see him shovelling in with all the others.... amazing!! It's hard for you but don't feel guilty about having some time for you now. You deserve it.

Spendless

Hi peakma- My daughter is a similar age to yours (5 at the end of March) and has been at f-time school since September (we only have 1 intake here). She also pronounces her 's' as 'th' and we are on a waiting list to see a speech therapist to see if it is something she will outgrow or whether she needs additional help (there's a close adult relative with a lisp in the family, which is why we're getting it checked out). She also doesn't wipe her bum at home but seems to manage perfectly ok at school!

I'd been at home for 7.5 years when my daughter started f-time school, so I do know how you feel. I'm currently at college p-time so I'm still off when the children are on holiday. Is this something you could look into?

buxtonrabbitgreen

It sounds as though the intake times have changed in recent years, but my DS, who is now 15 was born in October so started school 1 month before he was 5.
I don't feel that this was any disadvantage to him.
I tried him at playschool and he didn't like it.
All through first school he said he was bored and didn't like it.
He has never been one to be organized by other people, he is very independent and is quite unique in his thinking.
Anyway, as soon as he got to high school he was happy. He is on the G&T register in several subjects. His individualism is accepted and appreciated.
You have made up your mind now, and as your daughter has grown up more I am sure that she will be fine.
It is very tiring for them at first. She will probably come home grumpy and uncommuicative and fall asleep if she is anything like mine. But they do get used to it after a few weeks.
I hope you find something useful to do with yourself.

haylibo

Peakma

Best wishes for Tuesday with your little one. Just remember, nothing is etched in stone and many parents try school only to find they also try home-ed for years where it suits them/their kids better than to place them in school and some kids do stints of both formal schooling and home-ed at different times. A child's education is always the responsibility of the parent anyway and not the schools (funny legal position that one) so you are taking the appropriate approach when considering the bigger picture and not just accepting the mainstream view. You have other choices too and if you check out Education Otherwise you could look at flexi-schooling to give the best of both worlds. A tough one to manage but when it works it seems to work great.

Hayles