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Could this work - elderly parents

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Had a long chat with my dad today. He's in his late 70s and is the sole, full time carer of my mum who is in her late 80s. I help out where I can and look after mum one afternoon a week so dad can get out and have a break.

Dad is starting to get some health issues as well and is currently waiting for an operation on his heart.

Anyway, dad was telling me that every month they save well over £1000 as there is nothing to spend the money on. He says they both have healthy savings. Anyway, he wondered whether I would consider giving up work so that I could spend more time looking after him and mum. He would give me £1000 a month for this which would go a long way to cover what I would lose by giving up work.

I wouldn't be entitled to any benefits as my husband earns a good wage.

However, would there be any tax implications if my dad was giving me £1000 each month? Would he be allowed to do this as I think there are rules which limit how much a parent can give to their child.
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Comments

  • silvercar
    silvercar Posts: 49,482 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Name Dropper
    Do you want to be a carer?
    I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.
  • Would this be 7 days a week?
    What would happen if you wanted a holiday/day off?
    What if your children were unwell.
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
    You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time
  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 20,701 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Does you father want to become your employer and all that involves (NI, tax and pention payments included)?
  • Ames
    Ames Posts: 18,459 Forumite
    You might be entitled to carer's allowance, your husband's wages wouldn't come into it. If you worked less than 16 hours and earned less than about £115 after certain expenses a week then you'd be able to claim. It's a lot less than £1000 a month but you would get your NI paid. I think your parents could gift you money as well without it being counted but I'm not 100% sure. One of your parents would have to be in receipt of Attendance Allowance for you to qualify.

    If you went with your dad's plan you'd have to get some kind of legal agreement drawn up, otherwise if one of your parents needed to go into a home they could decide that payments to you were deprivation of capital. I'm not sure if it would be the same for IHT.

    Would you be able to take a career break without it affecting you in future? Or would there be long term consequences to giving up work - pension (state and private), earning potential and so on?
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
  • boliston
    boliston Posts: 3,012 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    This would seem quite low for a full time monthly wage - i wonder if it could fall foul of minimum wage legislation?
  • System
    System Posts: 178,331 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    How close do you live? You would be there all the time with 2 elderly parents with health issues. Your life would never be your own.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • TonyMMM
    TonyMMM Posts: 3,423 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    You are free to choose to look after your parents if you want to. .

    You parents are free to give you whatever they like - but it would be gifts, not wages.

    The gifts could form part of their estate if they die within 7 years
  • martinthebandit
    martinthebandit Posts: 4,422 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    If they are that financially sound probably the best advice you could give them (but knowing elderly parents they will not take it) is for them to move into a care home together.

    It is much better to take the time and pick one you would like to live in than have to do it in a rush and find one in an emergency.


    Apostrophe!!!8217;s still playing up then
  • Ozzuk
    Ozzuk Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    Isn't there a limit of 3k a year for gifts? I think I read that somewhere. Doesn't sound like you want to make this an employment scenario.
  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 20,701 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Ozzuk wrote: »
    Isn't there a limit of 3k a year for gifts? I think I read that somewhere. Doesn't sound like you want to make this an employment scenario.

    There iis no limit on gifts, the £3000 is the annual allowance that can be given away and become exempt from IHT immediately. Anything above that remains part of the givers estate for 7 years for IHT purposes. A couple can therefore remove £6000 a year from their estate through gifting.

    If the OPs parents genuinely have £12,000 of surplus income they can give that away and it would also be IHT exempt with emmediate effect, but we are not talking about gifts here we are talking about being paid for a service.

    Money aside I would never agree to do this, and I will never propose this to either of my children. I have been been involved with the care of my elderly mother, and even with the help of professional carers the emotional strain is horrible, and I will never burden my children with that.

    A friend of mine looked after his elderly disabled mother for many years after his father died, which ruined the early years of his retirement, had a big impact on his heath both physically and mentally, and his wife was driven out of the family home because of her MILs attitude towards her ( luckily she came back after the old lady died).
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