Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

EssexHebridean said:

Your whizzing along with stuff there SH - it's great to read! Food sounds lovely too, and that glass top is fabulous! 

Definitely sounds like a good idea having BIL around to give you some backup with making sure things happen at the weekend. Do you suspect that Ex will make sure that he leaves some stuff there until the actual day? It sounds to me as though he might so possibly wise to be prepared. He can of course, just as long as he - and all his stuff - are gone in a timely fashion on completion day. 

The glass is gorgeous - it hasn't made it inside yet as I don't want to risk smashing it...

BIL is fab and really calming. Love him. 

Ex is still in denial. This is his home and he doesn't want to leave until the last possible moment... 

The solicitor rang me back - she's going to take a look at the docs on an hourly rate basis. She thinks it may take her an hour to sort... At least her rate is £165 probably plus vat though but cheaper than the divorce one...

I tried to get through to the lender's solicitor - but after being in a queue for 20 mins I gave up. The direct line number person I have was on leave. 

savingholmes

badmemory said:

Sexist doesn't even come close.  I'm prepared to bet that if you cancelled the DD it wouldn't be your ex they chased.  It really is time they changed some of this stuff.  These discussions have been going on for so many years now.  The good news is that they no longer require us to have a male guarantor for our mortgages,  that's just over 30 years now.  Can you tell it is something that makes me grind my teeth.  We are also no longer taxed as a couple (unless you get child benefit & earn too much).  With my divorce when my accountant filed my self assessment HMRC sent my ex a bill for £1000 because HE earned too much.  That was a couple of months of maintenance down the tubes.  That was 1989.

At this rate we are never going to get equal rights. My mother about 10 yers ago in her late 80s said if she was starting out now she would never get married unless she was going to have children!

You are right there's still a long way to go - but there has been some improvements but as you say other backward steps. My life insurance policy is addressed to him only - even though it's joint - and ironically it's going to be assigned to me. 

@girlatplay

girlatplay said:

I've not caught up yet, I'm still working my way through but this is making me laugh way more than necessary 😂😂😂

savingholmes said:

 ...but when I first got there Dad and BIL had both separately gone for a nap.
...

Edit: caught up now.  I'm glad you have some knowledgeable people here who can flag up things for you.

The glass desk looks lovely.

Made me laugh too. I called BIL out on it later - I was jealous! TBF my parents had stayed overnight - enough to exhaust anyone.

jwil

That desk is amazing!

Yes, you can get non-food on Olio as well, I've seen some really interesting things.  You can also sell crafts on there, so it might be an option for some of your paintings or other works at some point.

savingholmes

Thanks @jwil - I obviously need to check Olio out then

savingholmes

Booster jab booked - but for 2 weeks tomorrow as all the dates were coming up around my divorce and I have holiday booked then. Other people have told me they've been ill with it and didn't want to be ill in my time LOL

savingholmes

Next door has got solar security lights and they seem to work well so I have just invested in some. They are due to come tomorrow. They can be drilled in but in theory they can also be affixed with adhesive tape. I guess I'll find out. It's a set of four - and if they work as planned - I will be able to see to get the bins in and out and walk down the side of my house in the light - you know radical stuff like that. (We've lived here 16 years!!) They should also be a bit of a deterrent from a security perspective although they aren't designed to stay on for very long at a time. If I like them I can get more. 

I also bought a couple more indoor motion sensor lights - the kind you can charge with a USB - so they can also act as back up lights if I ever have a power cut. Just need to put them in cupboards or drawers I don't often open.

badmemory

I also keep a torch in a "sensible" place on my ground floor.  I can find my way to it from anywhere downstairs by holding on to furniture & walls in pitch dark.  I've tested it & it good for peace of mind especially if you are on your own.

SandyShores

badmemory said:

I also keep a torch in a "sensible" place on my ground floor.  I can find my way to it from anywhere downstairs by holding on to furniture & walls in pitch dark.  I've tested it & it good for peace of mind especially if you are on your own.

I bought a plug-in rechargeable torch / light from John Lewis a bit like this:   https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00AC1K3Z4/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_69P03B26ZXF56VMEE9ZM?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Its got a motion sensor so I keep it in the hallway, but it also lights up if the electric ever goes out.

savingholmes

badmemory said:

I also keep a torch in a "sensible" place on my ground floor.  I can find my way to it from anywhere downstairs by holding on to furniture & walls in pitch dark.  I've tested it & it good for peace of mind especially if you are on your own.

Yes - torches are one of those things that when you don't need them there are lots around - but when you actually want one they seem to have disappeared. Though TBF - I am like that with a lot of things - 20 pairs of scissors and struggle to find one type of person... I am hoping to get more organised. 

The indoor lights I'm buying go on a magnetic strip (so can't get lost) and are motion activated. I have one now in my coat cupboard and the understairs cupboard where the electric switch box is. They just charge up by usb from time to time but seem to last ages. So I've bought another couple that are similar. As you say these things help with peace of mind.

I think one of the first things I'll need to do is hang some curtains in Ex's study as he's due to take his - assuming he actually does. I have some nice silver curtains I want to hang in there that I got down from the loft - but I washed them. So I now need to re-attach the lining with little hooks - and then put in some curtain hooks into the main curtain and then find / buy some rings. I am really looking forward to those going up - but I want to repaint the room white first. I may have a feature wall later - but for now I plan to keep things simple. I'm planning for it to be a bit of an art gallery for my favourite paintings anyway. I'm looking forward to creating some more very soon - especially for the space. I'm hoping with it being white it will also make it easier to take photos of my art for selling purposes. Once things settle down - I may even buy a special lighting rig and a new camera but I plan to start small.

It was funny at the weekend as a family member was instructing me to turn it back into a dining room - and I was thinking why if I am going to mostly be living alone? FE they have 3 little kids - but I don't need that. They were also telling me I shouldn't put a sink in there as it would affect the resale value or be hard to remove. That was if I made it my art room instead of the kitchen. Again, I was thinking the purpose of having the house to myself is so I can make my own decisions. I'm not getting divorced just to have someone else tell me what to do. If I'm not planning on moving any time soon - I can lay out any room how I want! I am also not planning to put a sink in straight away - it was just one of many options that I may or may not take up..

I would prefer a dual function table / desk (ie with the black top) that I can work at - and occasionally use as a dining table if I have guests. Downstairs space is prime real estate. That room has patio doors and a beautiful view of our garden - I don't want to waste it by hardly ever being in there. I also don't want to be too far away for parcel and post deliveries - ie I don't think I want an upstairs study right now - certainly not during the daylight. It could be a good place to write in the evening though - although I will have a luxurious choice of spaces for that. I am starting to feel blessed and excited by all the possibilities.

On EH's diary someone mentioned a Yoga room. Something like that could be a good use of the room that Ex is vacating upstairs. My London sis gave me a balance ball - I need to pump it up but it's a start. I have a Yoga mat too. Choices... 

savingholmes

SandyShores said:

badmemory said:

I also keep a torch in a "sensible" place on my ground floor.  I can find my way to it from anywhere downstairs by holding on to furniture & walls in pitch dark.  I've tested it & it good for peace of mind especially if you are on your own.

I bought a plug-in rechargeable torch / light from John Lewis a bit like this:   https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00AC1K3Z4/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_69P03B26ZXF56VMEE9ZM?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Its got a motion sensor so I keep it in the hallway, but it also lights up if the electric ever goes out.

Thanks Sandy - I've added it to the list... 

When Ex goes - he will be removing a lot of stuff from the shed - 2 bikes, a lathe, tools and the like. I could end up with a much more usable space there too and will need to think about how I want to use it. I might try and clear most of it out so I could use it more like a summer house - particularly if I want to meet people in a more ventilated space...  It has a kind of built in work bench but because of all the clutter we could never get to it. It will feel like a whole new house by the time I'm done. I could also paint the inside a bright / white colour to make it feel bigger and calming. I still need to try and find a way of re-affixing some roof felt...

There's also a small metal shed at the bottom of the garden - where I could potentially put some of the stuff I want to clear out of the main potting shed. It's full of shelving and boxes of books currently - all of Ex's. He's due to empty that. A neighbour has offered me some shelving - so I won't be short of that either.

The garage is going to lose a lot of its contents. It has a bike rack on the wall - where I could potentially hang one of DD's bikes - she has a manual and an electric. I have a bike - but am debating selling it. Again, with Xmas coming - there could be interest. I am considering buying DD's electric bike off her for £200 if I can find the £ and lose weight. Ex will take his motorbike - together with a load of tools and other stuff. It also has old furniture and other stuff in it that I'm hoping I can sell. So loads of options.