Divorce advice

TBagpuss

SorryIAmAnAE wrote: »

Thank you, I appreciate the reply. This is not something he would do, she was not unreasonable. I understand what you mean though.

Well, 'unreasonable behaviour' is shorthand. The full wording would be that she has 'behaved in such a way that [your partner] can't reasonably be expected to live with her'. It is no longer required to be particularly 'bad' behaviour. It can be things such as 'I felt she prioritised her family over our relationship' or 'I felt she wasn't emotionally supportive'.

However, the fact that they have only been separated 6 months does change things a bit (I'd thought from your original post that perhaps he had proposed they divorce on the basis of 2 years separation, and she was refusing).

In many separations, people will be at different points in the process - your partner may well have been having doubts about the marriage for some time, so while he may only have left 6 months ago,he my well be 12 months into the 'mental' separation.
If he started his relationship with you before he left, or admitted the affair to her, then this is even more true - he'd moved 'out' of the marriage to the extent he started a new relationship, before she even knew it was over.

She will need time to come to terms with the idea. Maybe in another few months time she will have had time to process the idea that the marriage is over and will be more willing to consider divorcing him.

FBaby

If his wife hopes they'll get back together, she is clearly hurt and angry, so just like she will consider that he ruined her life, she will make sure to use the little power she has left to do the same.

That's the cost that comes with the choices we make. In his case, it's not being able to detach himself financially from her for 5 years.

Marvel1

You both screwed over the wife, so you can wait 5 years.

Sorry to be blunt, my own personal feelings on cheaters.

gettingtheresometime

The woman is hurting.


Yes she may be hoping for a reconciliation but probably in her heart she knows the divorce is coming.


Leave her be until she can accept the idea and if that takes 5 years well it takes 5 years - unless of course he is prepared to make it worth her while.