Divorce advice

SorryIAmAnAE

Hi all,
As my username suggests, I am using an AE. Sorry, I know they can be annoying but I have a long standing account on here and do not want this attached to it and thrown back at me at any point :embarasse
In a nutshell, I am in a relationship with a man who left his wife for me. She will not consent to a divorce, which he has asked for. I know she could divorce him immediately as he was adulterous, but from what we can see online, he will have to wait for 5 years unless she decides to consent?
Many thanks in advance for any guidance.

hazyjo

What's the rush? Just wait 5 years. She may change her mind once she realises life moves on. She may meet someone else within that time.

TBagpuss

Has he spoken to a solicitor?
He can't divorce her based on his own adultery. However, it might be possible for him to start proceedings based on 'unreasonable behaviour'.

Was he happy in his marriage before he started his affair with you, or were there already issues which contributed to him being willing to cheat? If there were, then it is possible that he could use those within a behaviour petition.

However, he can in any event start proceedings once they have been separated for 5 years so it may be easier to wait. Or he may find that if he suggests starting the process on the basis of her behaviour that she will decide to go ahead based on his divorce or behaviour instead, at that point.

gettingtheresometime

TBagpuss wrote: »

Has he spoken to a solicitor?
He can't divorce her based on his own adultery. However, it might be possible for him to start proceedings based on 'unreasonable behaviour'.

Was he happy in his marriage before he started his affair with you, or were there already issues which contributed to him being willing to cheat? If there were, then it is possible that he could use those within a behaviour petition.

However, he can in any event start proceedings once they have been separated for 5 years so it may be easier to wait. Or he may find that if he suggests starting the process on the basis of her behaviour that she will decide to go ahead based on his divorce or behaviour instead, at that point.

I know somebody who did this - cheated on his wife, wanted a divorce but she wouldn't start the ball rolling so he started proceedings to force her hand.


Personally I found it very manipulating - it was if he wanted control of when & how they divorced.


As Hazyjo said what's the rush? Your relationship has now changed so wouldn't it be better to let the dust settle a little first?

SuperPikachu

*deleted my post*

chesky

I could have understood if this were 30 years ago, but nowadays even married people often call each other ‘partners’ instead of husband and wife. Children born to unwed couples aren’t ostracised.

It can’t be for religious reasons surely, otherwise adultery wouldn’t have been committed. Can’t you just live together, like millions of others do?

unholyangel

SuperPikachu wrote: »

I never understand this either. Why would you want to get married so quickly after him getting divorced? It is already clear that marriage is not taken seriously by this person.

Plus you know the man is a cheat (with your help). Maybe you should both just be together and stay well clear of marriage

I may have missed it in the OP but I don't believe they said why the divorce was wanted

starting_again_in_the_sun

OP, is your partner expecting to come into some money soon? That was my initial thought as to why he would want to divorce and his wife wouldn't...

SuperPikachu

unholyangel wrote: »

I may have missed it in the OP but I don't believe they said why the divorce was wanted

My mistake, jumping on the bandwagon of the posts above

SorryIAmAnAE

TBagpuss wrote: »

Has he spoken to a solicitor?
He can't divorce her based on his own adultery. However, it might be possible for him to start proceedings based on 'unreasonable behaviour'.

However, he can in any event start proceedings once they have been separated for 5 years so it may be easier to wait. Or he may find that if he suggests starting the process on the basis of her behaviour that she will decide to go ahead based on his divorce or behaviour instead, at that point.

Thank you, I appreciate the reply. This is not something he would do, she was not unreasonable. I understand what you mean though.

SorryIAmAnAE

chesky wrote: »

. Can’t you just live together, like millions of others do?

Yes of course, I understand that there is a misunderstanding on the thread, this is not about getting married again.