Divorce advice

SorryIAmAnAE

starting_again_in_the_sun wrote: »

OP, is your partner expecting to come into some money soon? That was my initial thought as to why he would want to divorce and his wife wouldn't...

No, nothing like that at all. She wants to remain his wife. Hope of a reconciliation I think. They were together 14 years+, and he left about 6 months ago.

Comms69

SorryIAmAnAE wrote: »

No, nothing like that at all. She wants to remain his wife. Hope of a reconciliation I think. They were together 14 years+, and he left about 6 months ago.

So it's you pushing for the divorce?


I'm sorry but they may well get back together. 6 months is nothing grand scheme. Your honeymoon period is coming to an end.

hazyjo

Have you actually heard him discuss it with her?

SorryIAmAnAE

Comms69 wrote: »

So it's you pushing for the divorce?


I'm sorry but they may well get back together. 6 months is nothing grand scheme. Your honeymoon period is coming to an end.

I have thanked your post because you took the time to write it, but you are wrong in your assumptions.

SorryIAmAnAE

hazyjo wrote: »

Have you actually heard him discuss it with her?

They do not verbally discuss it. All comms are through solicitor's written letters (congrats on your imminent 10K post by the way!)

elsien

chesky wrote: »

I could have understood if this were 30 years ago, but nowadays even married people often call each other ‘partners’ instead of husband and wife. Children born to unwed couples aren’t ostracised.

It can’t be for religious reasons surely, otherwise adultery wouldn’t have been committed. Can’t you just live together, like millions of others do?

Might not be anything to do with the new partner or wanting to remarry.
Maybe he wants to have a clean break and get any financial issues resolved now, rather than being tied together for the next five years when he considers the chances of a reconciliation to be non-existent.

Comms69

SorryIAmAnAE wrote: »

I have thanked your post because you took the time to write it, but you are wrong in your assumptions.

Honestly no assumptions made.


It's far from uncommon for unfaithful partners to go back to their spouse. If there were problems in the relationship and that person now wants to work on it now, it's a big draw.


Divorces are messy. And honeymoon periods are around 6-12 months, thereafter the hormones stabilise and it's a really common time for couples to break up.


Im not saying I hope it happens - I have no vested interest one way or the other, but it's perhaps a reason to protect your own emotions at this time.

SorryIAmAnAE

Comms69 wrote: »

Honestly no assumptions made.


It's far from uncommon for unfaithful partners to go back to their spouse. If there were problems in the relationship and that person now wants to work on it now, it's a big draw.


Divorces are messy. And honeymoon periods are around 6-12 months, thereafter the hormones stabilise and it's a really common time for couples to break up.


Im not saying I hope it happens - I have no vested interest one way or the other, but it's perhaps a reason to protect your own emotions at this time.

There are far more complexities to this situation than I wish to go into on this thread. I was purely looking to see if there were alternatives to the 5 year wait.

I appreciate you taking the time to post though. :beer:

SorryIAmAnAE

elsien wrote: »

Might not be anything to do with the new partner or wanting to remarry.
Maybe he wants to have a clean break and get any financial issues resolved now, rather than being tied together for the next five years when he considers the chances of a reconciliation to be non-existent.

This is pretty much the crux of it!

Seanymph

If he has left her, and no longer wants to be married to her then it's only reasonable that he would want to sever ties.

Being married retains lots of complications - the OP could be living with him for four years, yet if he's hospitalised the estranged wife can arrive and take life and death decisions for him - whilst the OP waits outside in the corridor and is told nothing!

He would be financially affected by anything that happens whilst they are seperated but not divorced - he may come into money, or want to get a new mortgage with the OP, or want to ensure that his new business is protected from future claims.......

He may wish to formalise maintenance to her, and for the children, to be able to plan for their future.

He may wish to negate his will, or how his estate will be distributed in the event that he doesn't have one.

He may have been with a controlling, manipulative woman, who can still use her status of 'wife' to telephone people and find out his business, stalk him, or generally make his life difficult.

He may wish to change his name - through divorce rather than deed poll.

He could just be heartily fed up of her controlling his life, and want to be free of her - and this could be yet another way of her controlling him and refusing to allow him to move on.

OP - He can divorce her. However to do so, from memory, he needs to have the marriage certificate.

If he has a solicitor then they are best placed to advise him, but I was with a still-married man (They were seperated when we met) - and it is not that easy, we ended up with bailiffs at his work because the damned car was still in his name and she didn't pay the parking tickets (or pass on the court dates!) - and without a divorce they were still married and it was VERY hard to prove that he was no longer responsible for the car.

Divorce formally sorts all of those loose ends. And it is a natural progression.