Things can only get better

RelievedSheff

He will have forgotten about it in a couple of days. Change the subject subtly to something else, like the bedroom refurb 😀.

Cherryfudge

Ah no. What a pain.

Can't he develop an obsession for helping with the washing up or folding plastic bags up neatly? Just something that doesn't put pressure on you!

Sun_Addict

I wish Cherry. Before his illness he used to help me all the time in the house. If he finished work early I would often come home to a spotless house and the ironing done. A while ago he said he wanted something to do with his time other than sleep and watch TV. I suggested he help me around the house with a few lights tasks. He said no that’s women’s work!! He does a few garden bits and that’s it. His neurologist wanted to put him on medication to help in the short term with his balance and motivation. The medication is the same one they give to people with Parkinson’s. As soon as I found out one of the side effects was compulsive behaviour such as obsessive spending/gambling etc I said no. It wouldn’t help him in the long term and would just make my life a lot harder.

warby68

I'm sorry his list of wants has started up and that he doesn't (or perhaps can't) take into account how much is on you.
Does 'we'll see' work? Or does he just never forget something until he gets his own way.
It sounds as if you've had to make some really hard calls with his treatment and ways of living with everything having a certain trade off. It sounds so strange that he thinks he can work again - I'm really not sure how you cope with such a severe illness when the patient doesn't really get their own situation and is kind of fighting you all the time.
Hope you have a better day

Cherryfudge

I'm sorry I've inadvertently touched on something real... you must feel it all the more when it's a change in personality rather than something that's always been an issue.
Fancy him saying it's women's work! Well yes - but men's too. 
I would have baulked at a medication that increased impulsive behaviours too. Just what you don't need on top of his current issues. I also have a theory that those things that form an integral part of our self-image - from simple tasks to specialist skills - remain stored in our heads as 'me', even if the actual ability is no longer there. For instance, when I broke my arm I had to think about how to do everything, which cluttered up my conscious brain no end, and made me a bit more lower-performing in other areas: absentminded or clumsy perhaps. Similarly people who have acquired a disability sometimes get criticised for thinking they can still walk, etc. A friend who lost the ability to walk used to have to call for help when she woke up in the morning because she literally forgot she had lost this function so she used to swing her legs out of bed and go to stand up then find herself on the floor. She wasn't being 'awkward', she had simply internalised her walking so deeply that when she didn't have it, she had to make herself remember. If that makes sense. Just wondering if that's where Mr SA's would-be return to roofing comes from?

Sun_Addict

Most of the time he accepts he’ll never work again but occasionally he goes off like this. 

Have been for a long walk with the dog. It wasn’t intended to be such a long walk, we were only nipping up to the golf course but decided to explore a different footpath which took us further away than we intended. Mr SA got a bit stuck on his scooter a couple of times, then the dog managed to slip her collar when she saw another dog. Thankfully she stopped running off when I shouted her or it would have been a nightmare. I’m buying her a strong harness next week. She’s had harnesses in the past but managed to slip out of them. I’ve seen a decent one online so that will definitely be a payday purchase. We got caught in heavy drizzle on the way back so I’m glad to be home and won’t be venturing out again today. Hopefully the dog is tired now. 

Making myself a nut roast for tonight’s dinner, Mr SA is having roast pork. Need to do the finances and meal plan this afternoon.

ladyholly

Try getting  a harness and a double ended lead (Halti or similar) so you can attach her lead to both the harness and her collar. That way you have a double chance of her not slipping them. She will still need a collar as I assume thats where you have her tag with your address and phone number unless you get a second one for her harness. Personally I use both on our Staffie cross as she is so nervous she will bolt.

MatyMoo

You can get a halti link that goes from the harness to the collar. If they back out of the harness they are still attached. 

RelievedSheff

Ours can get out of his harness in seconds if he wants to. Fortunately he doesn't really bother when we are out walking! 

milann

Does the thought of not working upset him or does he just decide he’s going to go back.So hard fro you all. Would sewing a few seeds distract him or is he too heavy handed. What about some builders sacks with seed potatoes.....I bought some to do that way last week. Just something to take his mind in a different direction.