Things can only get better

HairyHandofDartmoor

Oh blimey SA! What a night you've had . You work hard all week and deserve a relaxing weekend.

As for Mr SA, without wanting to sound harsh, it serves him right that he had to lie in the bath half the night. He knows he shouldn't shower alone, but he does it anyway :mad:. He knows he is incontinent, but he won't wear his pads and he expects you to clear up the mess :mad:

I glad he wasn't injured, but quite honestly he behaves like a spoiled toddler sometimes and it's not fair on you. He needs to grow up.

I hope you manage to get some rest today.

Sun_Addict

Almost exactly what his sister said HH. She's very angry with him for putting himself in this situation, so am I.

SIL is nagging about us getting a downstairs toilet/shower. We have room, there is an under stairs cupboard that could be converted. What we'd do with the stuff in it though, it's bursting at the seams, mainly because we can't access the loft. We mentioned it when we had the house renovations last year, they seemed to think it would be expensive.

Weather here is fantastic, like summer, so warm.

So far today I've done two loads of washing, took the dog on the park and walked up to Aldi. Still need to do finances, take the dog out again, ironing, meal plan and make my soup for work lunches. Looking forward to a long soak in the bath later and an early night.

enthusiasticsaver

Hopefully Mr SA has learnt his lesson after last night. I do wonder if a separate downstairs toilet would be something to consider if he is partially incontinent. Don't you have a spare room now your DS lives elsewhere that you could use for storage of stuff in understairs cupboard?

Totally understand about you not wanting to give up your bath and I know it is fairly new. I don't tend to soak in the bath but I know some love it. Maybe a non slip mat and grab rails and perhaps remove the lock. More spending out though which is annoying.

Sun_Addict

Thanks ES - yes DS's old room is a possible storage space. At the moment it's converted into a gym with treadmill, cross trainer and exercise bike. No one uses it now, I use the gym at work. We could get rid of the gym equipment, Mr SA doesn't want me to as he seems to think he'll use it at some stage. He won't. I've also thought of the option of another shed purely for storage which won't be that expensive.

Mr SA is fast asleep now, back in bed. The dog hardly slept last night either but she's fighting it, her eyes keep flickering it she's constantly on the lookout for the chance of another trip to the park.

SIL said she no longer feels sorry for Mr SA as he won't help himself and feels sorry for me having to bear the brunt of it all.

Toni'sfriend

SIL said she no longer feels sorry for Mr SA as he won't help himself and feels sorry for me having to bear the brunt of it all.

I think everyone would agree with that. You must be under a terrible strain. Take care of yourself.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

I think everyone would agree with that. You must be under a terrible strain. Take care of yourself.

Amen to that Xx

beanielou

Sorry to read all this SA.
I think SA's sister is right.
As I have said so many times I so do not know how you do it xx

Chrystal

Is it possible to contact his Social Worker, or get a new one assigned, to assess the situation as it is now? You may be entitled to some help to get the understairs cupboard converted to a shower/toilet, and to be honest you will need it at some stage. Wouldn't bother with the walk in bath, much better to have a wet room/shower room and cheaper too.
Regarding the pads supplied by Social Services, I don't know anyone who will use them- including my OH. All say they are useless. Tena pants for men are more like underpants, which may help him to accept them. Definitely worth buying a pack to try them at least.
Sounds as though he needs someone, like his sister, to keep on at him all the time... maybe it will eventually sink in if it's said repeatedly.
Really hope you are OK. You're in a very difficult situation and trying to find solutions would, I think, sometimes test the wisdom of Solomon, but small changes may help a bit. (((hugs)))

Sun_Addict

I've seen some boxer shorts in the easy life brochure for incontinence that he would probably wear. His problem is he won't admit he's got a problem, if you see what I mean. We were referred by social services to the local council re disabled adaptations. They said we'd have to put the first £7k towards the works, the downstairs toilet wouldn't cost that much. They don't give anything away where we live.

He managed to have a shower ok tonight but was apprehensive. I was on standby.

Didn't take the dog out for her second run as she was asleep and I was beyond tired. I've had the patio doors open all day and she's been in and out of the garden all day.

Made a mushroom stroganoff for my dinner tonight, WW recipe from the new cookbook. It was nice but as you all probably know mushrooms cook away to nothing so it wasn't the biggest dinner I've had. Also made butternut squash, chickpea and lime soup for work lunches.

Got my feet up with a glass of wine watching Strictly and X Factor but will be off to bed shortly - I am absolutely shattered.

Buffythedebtslayer

OH SA. I am so sorry.

That sounds like the crappiest weekend. I am so angry with MR SA. I agree with everything Hairyhand of Dartmoor said. And am glad SIL has recognised what is going on.

I am calling him a few names. I did some research for my sister re pads and washable incontinence stuff. Amazon have a good selection.

Hope you have a restful night's sleep XXXXX