Potential holiday cancellation

lisyloo

Quentin wrote: »

You wouldn't want them to await your return if it would be over a week should that be necessary???


Has anyone (qualified) at the hospital discussed "preparing for the worst"?

It could be 10 days at the absolute worst case (we have to fly back as well). Do they keep life support going that long just for people to get there?

No such conversation has taken place yet, but I think we are all aware this could be it.

Quentin

lisyloo wrote: »

It could be 10 days at the absolute worst case (we have to fly back as well). Do they keep life support going that long just for people to get there?
.

Hospitals don't like bed blocking!


Is it fair on the patient?

elsien

I added a bit onto my last post which you might not have seen. I'm not sure what you mean by life support, but if you mean lots of machines keeping someone going, that is very unlikely for someone with FILs presentation as you describe it. The hospital will do what is best for the patient. That does not mean keeping them hanging on for a week to allow family to get home.

lisyloo

Absolutely. I totally agree (with both of you).

I do not expect anyone to turn the boat around for external events (its not a private charter there's other people on it) and I don't expect anyone to wait until we get back (and is it fair of him or family). I also think it would be hard on SIL if she has to take "decisions" alone (even though there aren't really any decisions to make).
These are all things that point towards cancelling.

elsien

Unless there is a power of attorney in place, SIL or any other family member won't be the final decision maker. You would be consulted but the final say will be that of the consultant in charge of FILS care.

lisyloo

Unless there is a power of attorney in place, SIL or any other family member won't be the final decision maker.

So far they have consulted next of kin (for example about catheter).
It's perfectly possible they are giving SIL the impression she's being consulted when their decisions would overrule.

POA has been applied for and I believe it in the "waiting for objections" stage, so not "in place".

I was under the impression that they allowed family to be there when machines were switched off, but if he isn't going to be put on them then it's not an issue.

We will not shy away from asking straighforward questions and will ask whether life support is a possibility or not, we jsut don't live nearby so not currently visiting.

The only reason we haven't done it yet is that we're waiting for test/diagnoses and feel a little premature right now.
For example liver ultrasound was done yesterday and heart scan has been requested (a wheelchair arrived but it has to be re-arranged as he's a bed patient and the room is too small for a bed).

csgohan4

It wouldn't be much of a holiday, constantly worrying and on the phone, would it?? how can anyone enjoy themselves with a family member so ill

lisyloo

It wouldn't be much of a holiday, constantly worrying and on the phone, would it?? how can anyone enjoy themselves with a family member so ill

I agree with what you are saying but we don't know how ill he is right now and although I'm veering towards that way, I still think it's too early to call.
We would want to have straightforward discussions with the consultant first.

I do also feel that if he has say 1 year to live then all of us have to get on with our lives and go back to work/school. We cannot just all take a year off without income and sit at his bedside. At the moment my husband and I are not visiting as we don't live nearby so clearly everyone doesn't feel that we ALL need to be at his bedside (although one of us is visting each day).

I am very aware of how my husband will feel and my SIL if she is left to deal with decisions alone (she might not be making any but she will feel that all the pressure is on her if she is asks her/his wishes).

I can guarantee we won't be constantly on the phone in the middle of the pacific so that's an entirely different scenario altogher. As I said we're aware the boat isn't going to turn around so we're on it for 8 days and then we have to fly back, so potentially up to 10 days away.

lisyloo

Quick update. DH spoke to consultant today. No serious issues found so far although some tests left to do. Some long term conditions and plenty of things sub-optimal as can be expected in an overweight heavy smoker of 89. He is stable and no reason to expect a decline in the next few weeks.

Thanks for all your help.