2018: Saving for Wedding and potential IVF

enthusiasticsaver

So you get 19 weeks full pay then holiday on full pay then SMP? How long are you planning to take off? My DD is on maternity leave expecting DGD2 at the moment. She got holiday on full pay first then maternity pay then SMP.

To be honest I would not worry about retirement, just as long as your pensions are covered. It is child care costs my DD and son in law find tough as do many other young families. We have DGD1 one day a week and will also have the baby, other grandparents do a day and the girls will be in nursery from 9 to 3 on the other 3 days. My DD works part time since having kids both from the point of view of finances and keeping her foot in the door at work and minimising childcare costs and spending time with the babies. My DGD1 gets her 30 free hours next January just as baby starts. Age gap worked out deliberately by DD.

It is a shame if you hate your job but maybe working less hours would be better for you? Will you have any grandparents help with childcare?

coastalchick

Yep 19 weeks full pay, 2 weeks paid hol before baby due and 2 weeks full pay after my 19 weeks ends then 8 weeks on SMP (I live offshore so diff rules to uk). In total just over 7 months off, so 2 unpaid.

Thankfully we won't have any childcare costs as MIL is looking after him 4 days a week so I can work. Work have allowed me to change my hours from 8-330 with a half hour lunch so I should be with him by 4 each day latest. Then will have weekend and either a fri or mon off or do a half day mon and half day fri. I know we are v lucky to have MIL, she did same for OH's sister (and still does) but the eldest grandchild now in school and the other one will by by next sept so she will only have 3 of them at once for around 45 mins doing pick ups from school as I'll be at hers by 4 latest to collect ours (and sometimes she'll have 3 of them in school hols). My parents live in uk so can't help though may come over for a week here and there.

I think I only worry as I was in serious debt at uni and for a few years after, after trying to keep up with the Jones's. I have learnt my lesson on that one and am quite quick to pull myself back from it when I feel it happening again. For example, we only have 1 car at the moment - only reason being in our last place we didn't have any parking so it was hard enough finding a spot for 1 car, let alone 2. So OH sold his car and we've managed with 1 since then (over a year). But now, we need to think about getting another before the baby as he might need a car whilst I'm on mat leave and so it is too diff with only 1. Then when I go back to work, he is going to have to do the drop offs at his mums as I will be starting at 8 and I will do pick ups so he is going to need a car.

Anyway, the car we have is fine but not flash and I was thinking I'd trade up and get a nice car. But if we are getting a decent one for him (I say him but it will be mainly used by me on maternity and he will have the other one, but will be the family car for holidays etc as will be more reliable) then if I get one too that's a big chunk every month. So have reined it in and decided we will keep my car, and just focus on getting 1 decent one between us. In the past, I'd have been straight to the dealer signing on the dotted line just because I wanted something "nice". Now I'm thinking the money would be better saved.

Still spent £54 in supermarket - did get a few extras but not many! Though that it much cheaper than normal. Bought OH some beers which weren't on my list but they were only about £4.

enthusiasticsaver

You are very lucky to have your MIL look after your baby for 4 days. I find 1 day is exhausting looking after my DGD1 and we will have DGD2 on the same day which is fine but think I would struggle with 4 days. Obviously if our DD was struggling financially though we would help more. As you say if she has done that many days for a while she is obviously used to it. That will save you a fortune and it sounds like you have learnt your lesson re not getting into unnecessary debt.

Getting an extra car is another expense but if you start work that early it makes sense for your OH to do the drop offs and you do the pick ups. The only difficulty with that is needing 2 child seats which are not cheap. I guess you could take it in and out but they are a bit of a faff. DD has just ordered an isofix base for baby as DGD1 is still using hers. Luckily as she works part time short days she does drop offs and pick ups so her DH doesn't bother with seats in his company car.

coastalchick

Gah, OH decided wanted something different for tea tonight (parsnip and pancetta pasta which, to be fair, is my fave so I can't really say no!!) so we got ingredients for that (plus choc and a cake) so £16.16/2). He's just spent £24/2 in b&q but that is to start on hallway which needs doing and cheaper than getting someone in so can't complain.

Then £6.50/2 on worming tabs for the cat!

Went in to see wedding rings, I am not happy with mine. He's not really listened to the brief or taken note of the pics I showed him so am going to go back on Monday and show him what I wanted - it might be he can't do that due to shape of my engagement ring/size of diamonds but he's charging me £1100 for it (originally said was £750) so got to be happy. It was just really thick and the diamonds were set down in the ring rather than up on top which is what I'd wanted - but not sure what happens if not fully happy - guess I just have to live with it as guessing still have to pay?

enthusiasticsaver

I would be a bit gobsmacked he upped the price to £1100 without checking first to make sure that ok. I would not be happy paying for something that bore no resemblance to the original brief.

coastalchick

yep I know - I think it's because the amount of platinum required was more than he originally thought as the diamonds were bigger. I've called and he's now on hols for a week so have said not to do any more work on it as I'm not sure about it. I'll pop in when he's back and go through it with him - to be fair, it might be because of the diamonds, I'm not sure. I think he will be fine as I do buy quite a lot from him so hopefully he will sort it out.

louby40

Congratulations on your baby news!

Boys are fab! I have 2 boys now aged 18 and 14.

coastalchick

Been signed off work since start of week and put on an inhaler! Am fine, it's just a cold but up most of the night coughing guts up which isn't pleasant!

MSE wise, not great but could be worse. On sunday bought a rocking chair thing and playmat second hand from someone I know - £20 - but £10 was from a desk I'd sold and £10 my dad sent us to get an easter egg so glad it covered that. Both things were in vgc and are each around £50 new so good saving there.

Carpet is now down in nursery so OH and I each to pay £137 as we'd already paid deposit. Looks good - just need to order some cloud lights now and then get the stickers up and it's not far off done!

OH has started painting hallway - it's white with taupe for the skirtings/doorways - think it is looking good but will be £ in paint.

Other than that, not spending really (other than on things like prescription and top up milk etc) as off sick!

Need to order some more maternity clothes but going to look at finances in a mo and see what I can justify given carpets, paint etc and fact we will need to do a big shop this friday.

Get paid next friday so will then be a whole new month's budget, though it is not stretching all that far at the moment given paint, carpets and baby stuff being bought!!!

coastalchick

Still off sick and seem to be going downhill - feeling generally grotty, exhausted and coughing a lot. Not pleasant!!!!

OH just buying bits each day so not too much thankfully. Need him to get me something for my tea tonight as he is out for a curry.

Thinking of having jacket potato with cheese and beans for lunch from stores as have not really been eating much and apparently should be gaining 1lb a week in second trimester.

Life pretty dull at the moment - doing nothing but sleeping or watching tv due to illness

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry for you feeling poorly. I think pregnancy reduces your immunity to viruses etc . Exciting to get all the nursery ready.

We are expecting our DGD2 any day as DD admitted to hospital earlier this week with pre eclampsia so will deliver early when doctors feel she is ready. She had it with her first DD so I am not surprised.

Hope you feel better soon.