2018: Saving for Wedding and potential IVF

missplant

I have just read your whole diary and I am so happy for you! massive congratulations

coastalchick

Thanks ladies! Still on cloud nine and bought 3 little baby grows (only £11.50 for the 3 so quite MSE) yesterday - they have planes on and OH loves planes so I thought baby could come home from the hospital in those! OH was in tears when he saw them!!!

Moving back to MSE things are NOT good. Spent loads yesterday, baby grows then an outfit for my friend's baby (she had a baby 5 weeks ago after around 3 years of trying and 2 losses), bag of cat food (£32), stuff from M&S (chocs for ladies, thank you cards, pizza etc for last night - £30), stuff to make mother's day cake (£11), and OH just been to B&Q for new drill (£45) as he is sorting out the utility. Our utility is tiny (though lucky to have one) but seeing if we can re-arrange it to be able to get a pram/buggy in there - OH having to move cupboard off wall and cut in half and move to another wall and move dryer onto top of washer so we can create room for a pram/buggy.

Tonight I'm out (though not drinking so hoping to limit cost) and we have big shop to do tomorrow. Get paid on 20th but we also have another night out and another big shop to do before then - have a feeling will go over budget this month.

Next month also have home insurance to renew which will be around £400 and we want to start decorating - we will do most of it ourselves but still costs in paint etc.

OH said we just need to accept we are unlikely to be able to save much over the next few moths doing all that (we need new carpets also)


Arghhhhhhh

coastalchick

MSE wise is still not good!!! Went out Sat which was, even though not drinking, still £35 for 2 courses, 2 pints lime and soda and tip! Table was 645 and we were home by 10 but I was then wiped out for around 3 days - I just am really struggling with tiredness at the moment.

Anyway, we have also spent a fair bit on shopping and petrol this week. Have around £300 left in this month's budget and get paid Tues. I've cancelled night out tomorrow (because of tiredness issue) but OH still going - will save me pennies. Have a big shop to do and I also need to get some new walking trousers and poss a coat as we go away to New Forest next weekend and I obv cannot fit in my usual clothes at the moment!!!

House insurance is due for renewal before 13 April and so was hoping to have around £200 left over from this month's budget to pay for that. As also got to pay £500 for wall repairs, £2000 for boiler and £602 for tax from this month's pay (all of which I thankfully have due to putting away the wall money, bonus and OH repaying me some of what he owes but I am panicking as taking 8 weeks unpaid leave for part of my maternity leave and we need baby stuff also.

On that note, a friend of mine has offered me a Mamas and Papas rocking crib for free so we pick that up tomorrow - hoping to get a lot more stuff for cheap/free. Only thing am bothered about buying new really is cot mattress, blankets etc.

I just find it is SO expensive to live.

System

I've just caught up with your diary and oh my goodness!! Congratulations, I know it might sound daft but I welled up a little as I know how much you've struggled and it's lovely to hear you're having a boy! Sorry to hear you've had some scares but amazing you're now in your second trimester, it'll fly by!

Agree with you that living costs appear to just keep sky rocketing? We're looking for a new rental property at the moment and because of all these daft prudential regulation authority changes rental prices have gone through the roof so landlords can afford their buy-to-let mortgages. PRA changes were supposed to help people who are renting buy properties as they wanted landlords to sell-up (I'm sure you've heard all about the tax changes etc. as a landlord yourself). All it's done is force rental prices even higher, completely counter-productive. I also noticed my council tax is really expensive this year sounds like we could do with a new money tree

Poor_Single_lady

It is so expensive to live. Everything just costs ridiculous amount of money just to maintain - not even to improve!

I just wanted to pop in quickly re the getting married. Just listen to your heart as well as your head. I love the idea of small weddings but it is about what you want.

But also remember to rest. When we do too much and have too much on - our brains sometimes get worn out And struggle. Hope you're not doing too much. And listen to your heart. xxx

DigForVictory

Congratulations on your wonderful news!
May I suggest that you accept Everything given to you by way of clothes & kit for the baby & only get rid of stuff that is unsafe by current thinking? (Cot bumpers, dubious car seats etc) Storage will become a problem, but better that that a whole in the budget. Life is expensive but buying everything new for a baby is also gruesome expensive, so plan to raise an MSE baby & let those who love you buy things new?

All the very best and the wedding is a bit less important than being married. (Former colleague turned Registrar tells me there are sensational wedding dresses for the pregnant & that she married a lady at 38 weeks, to the great delight of all involved.) Safe and happy travels!

enthusiasticsaver

coastalchick wrote: »

Thanks ladies - am literally SO excited but just hoping nothing goes wrong like last time. We had our 12 week scan yesterday (after 3 bloody scares with this pregnancy) and it was all great and then they phoned me with our Iona test (tests for downs, edwards and pataus and can also tell you the sex) results lunchtime and they were as low risk as you can get and a boy!!!

Congratulations and best wishes for a smooth pregnancy. My DD is 33 weeks pregnant now with GD2 so been out shopping today with her for bits for her hospital bag and summer clothes for DGD1 so they don't need to go shopping in May when she has a newborn.

coastalchick wrote: »

MSE wise is still not good!!! Went out Sat which was, even though not drinking, still £35 for 2 courses, 2 pints lime and soda and tip! Table was 645 and we were home by 10 but I was then wiped out for around 3 days - I just am really struggling with tiredness at the moment.

Anyway, we have also spent a fair bit on shopping and petrol this week. Have around £300 left in this month's budget and get paid Tues. I've cancelled night out tomorrow (because of tiredness issue) but OH still going - will save me pennies. Have a big shop to do and I also need to get some new walking trousers and poss a coat as we go away to New Forest next weekend and I obv cannot fit in my usual clothes at the moment!!!

House insurance is due for renewal before 13 April and so was hoping to have around £200 left over from this month's budget to pay for that. As also got to pay £500 for wall repairs, £2000 for boiler and £602 for tax from this month's pay (all of which I thankfully have due to putting away the wall money, bonus and OH repaying me some of what he owes but I am panicking as taking 8 weeks unpaid leave for part of my maternity leave and we need baby stuff also.

On that note, a friend of mine has offered me a Mamas and Papas rocking crib for free so we pick that up tomorrow - hoping to get a lot more stuff for cheap/free. Only thing am bothered about buying new really is cot mattress, blankets etc.

I just find it is SO expensive to live.

Accept all the second hand stuff you can (providing it is still in good condition of course). I would suggest you work out how much you will get in monthly pay while on maternity leave and just see how easy it is to live off that and save the difference. Another thing we found today. We looked in mothercare at the crib sheets (my DD has gone for a next to me crib this time as she had moses basket for GD1 which she never settled in) and the sex appropriate ones were far cheaper than the neutral ones. Pink and blue ones were £6 for 2 and the cream/beige ones were £11 for 2. Apparently the cribs were the same so if you want a neutral one they tend to cost more than a pink or blue one.

DigForVictory wrote: »

Congratulations on your wonderful news!
May I suggest that you accept Everything given to you by way of clothes & kit for the baby & only get rid of stuff that is unsafe by current thinking? (Cot bumpers, dubious car seats etc) Storage will become a problem, but better that that a whole in the budget. Life is expensive but buying everything new for a baby is also gruesome expensive, so plan to raise an MSE baby & let those who love you buy things new?

All the very best and the wedding is a bit less important than being married. (Former colleague turned Registrar tells me there are sensational wedding dresses for the pregnant & that she married a lady at 38 weeks, to the great delight of all involved.) Safe and happy travels!

I thoroughly agree with this. Raising a baby is expensive as are weddings. Having an MSE wedding is perfectly possible and will put you in a great position going forward as kids don't get any cheaper as they get older.

Once again many congratulations coastal and I look forward to hearing about your journey.

coastalchick

Thank you all for your kind words and sorry for radio silence - we were away last weekend and then this week I've just not had the energy to think after work!

Definitely accepting all the "safe" second hand stuff we have - we now have the crib (which is pristine and picked up from friends sister who I used to knock about with years ago but hadn't seen for ages - lovely thing was we got on really well, and my OH got on really well with her OH (they are both flyers) so we are going to see them more!) so just going to get mattress and sheets/blankets new (thanks v much for the tip re gender specific being cheaper!!). OH's sister said she had some stuff in her loft for us (baby bath, changing station etc) so going to grab those when we see them monday and looking on the local sale site for clothes as he will no doubt go through them quickly!!

MSE wise not great (as expected). We were away at weekend - it was my treat to OH so I had £160 left to pay on the accommodation (thankfully everything else had been pre-paid in Jan) and we just split food, petrol etc. Still resulted in us spending over £320 between us (on top of the accommodation!) but we had a lovely time. My morning sickness seemed to clear and I felt much more like my old self so we really enjoyed it. OH is so sweet, was struggling with my back so he secretly booked me a pregnancy massage at a posh hotel - he is v thoughtful.

Since getting back we've spent a bit on paint etc as he is decorating the nursery - saving though by him doing it as opposed to getting someone in. Then will need a new carpet (a, because I hate the yucky brown it currently is and b, because OH has now spilt paint all over it (cos he knew we were chucking it!)) but that should hopefully not be too pricey. Ordered some plane stickers for one of the walls and a plane cot mobile. And some gorgeous bookends (and a few board books!). Trying not to go mad, but just liking buying a few bits here and there every now and again.

Ended up with around £213 left over last month so have hoofed that in another account to pay for my half house insurance renewal when it arrives.

This month not going to be cheap as also need some maternity clothes (as I am literally struggling for things to wear now and I still have to work) and paint/carpets etc but we are not really going out at all. Apart from a lunch at OH's mum's on Mon (so free but we will probably take a cake or something) we are staying in all weekend watching "Escape to the Chateau" (has anyone seen that - fab programme!) and painting (well, OH is and I am cooking up a storm). So expense this weekend will be big shop (have a massive list - making him a duck egg sponge cake, a lasagna, butternut risotto, spanish omelette, butternut and pancetta pasta) but nothing on going out at all. Then we have nothing in diary until 14 April and that's only watching the national at a friend's (we are doing afternoon tea and I'll make a cake as my friend can't cook at all (self-confessed) so hoping for a cheap month on that front.

Work have sorted out my maternity package though waiting for final confirmation of figures. It's a bit annoying as my SMP (well, equivalent where we are) gets paid weekly so my work will take that off what they pay me monthly, so I might need a bit of a buffer from time to time). I get 18 weeks full pay (which actually turns into 19 weeks due to BH's which fall in that time meaning they add it onto the end so I get an extra week off and an extra week of pay!), 4 weeks paid holiday, then 8 weeks unpaid. But during the 8 weeks unpaid they pay their contribution to my pension so I only have to pay my own. Worked out that during those 8 weeks, with the SMP and income from my rental property I can almost cover my half of mortgage and bills, but will need OH to basically pay my pension contributions and fund our expenses/food for those 8 weeks (which he's more than happy with) so all is looking ok. Plus I should get a bonus in march (small) which is a month I'm not being paid so might not even need much from OH then.

We have decided that as soon as we have baby's birth certificate we are opening an investment account for him. We will put £70 a month in there plus all the child benefit we get. I think my parents are also likely to be rather generous on birthdays/christmas etc so some of that can go in there too. I know it's a long way off but it's in case he wants to go to university. I'm 40 in Sept and I don't want him to get to 18 and then us have to worry about finding the money if that's what he wants to do. So if we start saving from birth (for as long as we can afford to) then we should have the money by then. My dad did the same for us so it's kind of been drilled into me! Then, if he doesn't want to go to Uni we can maybe let him have it for a flat deposit/some to go travelling, or just head to Rio ourselves!

Wedding wise we are now booked in for next Sept - we have decided to do the big day after all but I will be saving on things like flowers (going to hire beautiful plants for the church part, and only have some cheap vintage milk bottles with one or two flowers in dotted on the tables), favours (thinking of making own chocolate bark for guests or not bothering) and spending the money on the photographer and things like that. Not bothered about a posh car to drive us around or any of that jazz either. Just want al friends and family there, fab music and everyone to drink and eat lots and have a fab time.

Sorry for the long post - this is what happens when Ive not posted for a while!

To those of you I follow, I'll catch up on your diaries and comment when back from shops!!!

coastalchick

Spent £109.16 in supermarket!! (will be split between 2). Know that's a lot but making meals from scratch is not cheap and I've not properly cooked for ages - as OH working so hard on house feel I owe him nice cooked dinners. But will last longer than this week as making a massive lasagne and a risotto, leftovers will be frozen. Also included things like loo roll, kitchen roll, bin liners and flaming vanilla pods (almost £9 for those - then blinking realised we already had one!)

Bought some teeny tiny trousers for the baby which were in the sale and £3 so thinking that's ok and ordinarily we would be out for lunches/dinners etc over easter weekend so saving cash by staying in.

Made spanish omlette for lunch and still have plenty of ingredients left over to make another. Will make cake tomorrow.

coastalchick

Well, so much for not going out on weekend! We ended up going for coffee and cake on Sat as we had got up early and done b&q, then picked carpet, though was only £8.80/2 so not that bad. Sun we ended up lunch out but was £17/2 so not like a big roast or anything. And we didn't spend anything other than that.

Tues we paid deposit for carpet for nursery - whole thing fitted going to be £550 which seems a lot to me as we already have underlay but it is a big room and it's a nice plush carpet plus grey to try to hide dirt!!!! Nursery almost done now, just waiting on finding some wall lights (the ones in there are very adult - OH ordered some cloud ones but when they came they were awful and scratched so are being sent back) so will have to get electrician in as OH has managed to damage something when he was painting. Then carpet. Then we just need a few other bits which am going to try and pick up second hand (like nursing chair etc) and then it's done! A long way ahead and anything can happen but we have so much else to do round house that we wanted to get that room done first.

Also had to pay for coffees Tues as went with a friend and she had picked up last time - £5.40. And needed a sandwich that day - £3.20. Have bought a few bits this week here and there as well too - approx £30/2.

House insurance renewal came and it was £450 - I already have 213 for my share put away so only a few pounds more for me so that's good.

We are not out this weekend, though may grab take out tomorrow. We stupidly ordered our wedding rings a few weeks ago when we thought we'd elope and they are here/ready so going to try them tomorrow and will have to pay for them! Will put those on the credit card and pay for them out of our pay at end of month - suspecting will be around £1500 for the two - OH's was ordered and mine was being made from a ring of my grandma's so just hoping he's listened to the brief and done a good job!!!! Such a nice way to re-use a ring of hers I would never have worn (it really was a hideous ring!) - did the same with another one and had it made into a necklace. My mum had given me 3 of grandma's rings.

Got to do big shop this weekend also - but going to check cupboards and freezer to see what we can use up to make it cheaper.

Pay for maternity now gone weird - so they're putting my paid holiday in the middle, after end of my 19 weeks paid, but before my 8 weeks unpaid. Not sure if this is so they can take the SMP for those weeks but I don't think they can because that is holiday which I am entitled to. So wondering if they just take 18 weeks SMP off me? Might have to clarify how it works. Kinda works better that way as means it's only March where I get nothing at all, but that is when bonuses are paid so should hopefully get a bonus then.

I think I know deep down we are ok financially, but because I've been in an awful debt situation before, I am just very paranoid about making sure we always have enough. I think whilst we are both working we are ok, but guess I worry about retirement a lot. Then I think I should go back to work (a) full time and (b) as a proper lawyer so can capitalise my earnings. But I hated it so much and I'm already upset at the thought of having to leave my baby for 4 days a week!