2018: Saving for Wedding and potential IVF

wjr4

coastalchick wrote: »

I know there's no point as I can't do anything about it but I am SO mad at myself for all the money I wasted over the years, particularly at Uni and trying to keep up with the Jonses. If I had just had more self confidence to seek out people who were actually friends, I could have come out of Uni with savings rather than debt. Feel like such an idiot.

I'm not in debt now (other than mortgages but that is ok as have a lot of equity in both properties) but I could have retired earlier or taken more time off or done something else other than law, if I had just not been so !!!!ing stupid.

I am going to make sure that our kids are financially savvy and understand what an interest rate is, and don't suffer the same confidence problems I suffered from.

Please don't ever feel bad about the past - keep looking forward x

System

Yes I second the above comment. I'm only 25 and I have some debt through a pattern I got in to and was in denial about. Sometimes I sit and just think 'oh goodness why did I spend that money, why couldn't I have just eaten beans and not had a holiday' etc. but life is all about learning and moving forward and given your current financial situation I'd say you've really done well, especially given the equity in your properties.

At work I see people day in, day out who own properties but every 2 years their mortgage balance goes up and up as they consolidate more debt. We tell them every time - don't take out more!!! They inevitably come back with 3 more credit cards and loan. You do so well xxx

coastalchick

Thanks ladies. I needed that.

Been MIA for a bit. Ended last month with about a third of my (cut) monthly budget left which was less than was expecting as the last couple of weeks of that month were more expensive than I'd budgeted for. Mainly as I had been poorly so OH was in charge of shopping and went mad!!! But hoofed that over to savings. This month we have to pay £470 each for repairs to wall so have hoofed that over to a separate account (well, 500 just in case it goes over a bit). Cut the budget again this month (to same as last month) but a little worried might go over. We have to pay £350/2 today for something and have a couple of meals out this month, plus mother's day. But will try to be frugal in between. Taking lunch to work every day plus snacks so trying not to spend.

Off to see my friends just outside of london this weekend so need to get gifts for her 2 girls. Hoping not to spend too much as there for 2 nights and know she is on about getting take out one of the nights so cheaper than going out.

Also got a !!!!!!!g tax bill for £613 on friday! Thankfully it doesn't have to be paid until 23rd and we get paid on 20th so can pay it out of next month's pay but annoying as means not in my savings!!! Get my bonus in march pay though which is £1468 post tax. Not amazing (given my industry) but given I literally work 9-5 4 days a week now and no overtime or real stress, I can't really complain.

Just seems to be taking ages to build up savings! In my last job I could save like 3k a month so it built up quick - but obv not in that job any more!

Bit annoyed as OH owes me 26k from when we bought house last april - his flat didn't sell (still hasn't though is rented) and so I had to put more in. He was left with less savings than me (about 10k less) and yet has now managed to surpass my level of savings as he dabbles in the stock market! Part of me feels like he should be making efforts to repay me, but then I guess for us as a couple it's better if he keeps building those savings rather than them languishing in my "safe" account. I have no doubt he will pay me back once flat sells but I do find it a tad annoying!!

coastalchick

Didn't spend anything yesterday or today. We got sent home from work yesterday lunchtime so didn't go via shops as roads too bad. Today I've worked from home so not left house, though OH is going out to get some supplies this evening before heavy snow hits tomorrow. Have given him a list so hoping minimal.

Away this weekend - not sure if we will be going out too much or not, friends have 2 little kids. I know we are getting a take away friday so that will be cheap. We will spend on train fares but shouldn't be too much. Need this month to be frugal though out for dinner on 10th and 17th plus there's mother's day - which means presents for my mum and OH's mum. We are also doing afternoon tea for OH's mum - can't decide whether to make a cake like a piano or some chocolate cupcakes instead. Piano one would look cool though never made it before - thinking a tray bake brownie then covered with icing and white chocolate and milk chocolate kitkats for the keys.

I just find existing so expensive really. Food is the worst expense I think.

coastalchick

Well, there is little point in posting - money wise life has gone mental! Went to see friends at weekend and spent around £130 on train fares, take outs, meals out, gifts etc.

Then, tuesday night got home from work and there was black smoke coming out our flue and the carbon monoxide alarm going mental! Luckily our mate is a plumber so he is replacing it for as cheap as he can but its 4 grand (!!!!!!!!!). So there goes my bonus and a bit more. And we've to pay 940 for wall repairs!!!! Thankfully OH has paid me back 1,613 from the 26k he owes me so that will cover half my share of boiler cost and my tax bill. This has not been a good month!!!!

So, general day to day spending must be kept to a minimum for a while.

coastalchick

And in other news.....we are 12 weeks 4 days pregnant with a little boy!!!

Excited and petrified in equal measure. So perhaps I should change the title of my diary!

We are going to book wedding for next year now and had better get saving for baby things and also as I will be taking 2 months of my 7 off as unpaid - so we will need some extra spondoolies.

System

Oh coastal chick I read your diary but never comment . However I have just read the last 4 pages , was going to commiserate about the boiler expense , but then the last post. , what a change.

Congratulations best news ever , fingers and toes crossed for you . You must be over the moon .

Poor_Single_lady

Hurrah a boy! You will be a fantastic mum Coastal. So pleased for you. xx

coastalchick

Thanks ladies - am literally SO excited but just hoping nothing goes wrong like last time. We had our 12 week scan yesterday (after 3 bloody scares with this pregnancy) and it was all great and then they phoned me with our Iona test (tests for downs, edwards and pataus and can also tell you the sex) results lunchtime and they were as low risk as you can get and a boy!!!

I didn't mind either way (although after spending time with my friend's 1 year old at the weekend I was poss leaning towards a girl being fab) but knew OH really wanted a boy (so he could indoctrinate him into his world of planes and lego!!) so I just broke down in tears!!!!

Off to get a MASSIVE box of chocs and card for the medical staff at the specialists as they have been so so patient with all my calls and stresses and I cannot thank them enough and a card for the on-call obstetrician I saw at A&E this week (when we had a bleed) who actually texted me yesterday to check all was ok!

OH's mum is ecstatic, esp as the family name will live on (her words!) and brought me round a lovely maternity dress last night - she is so so lovely. I literally have never been this happy in all my life - cringe post but this baby is half of me and half of the person I love (cringe I know!). OH is literally going to make the best dad ever - he is so kind, caring, generous, funny and so so moral. I literally could not ask for a better father for our child.

Sorry for the over-enthusiastic post - I will go back to normal MSE posts soon but the last 2.5 months have been such a worry and stress I think it's the relief!!!!

System

You have every right to be excited . I will pop in more frequently now to follow your journey.