Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings

lessonlearned

Tbh. I don’t know how long his DLA would have been payable because obviously that stopped when he went into care.

So then they stopped everything and even took half of his modest private pension. I also lost carers allowance of course so I was left destitute a second time........

Then of course there was the battle for continuing health care. Another benefit that was his right in law but of course they dragged their heels for another two years. With my mother they finally granted CHC six weeks after her death.

Honestly you couldnt make it up.

I know it’s a long shot but could it be worth contacting your MP. Having said that I didn’t bother. Ours was a total waste of space.:rotfl:

The way you and your daughter are being treated is truly shameful.

sugarbaby125

LL the more you reveal of those years when your husband was ill, the more I am in awe of all you had to cope with and yet you were there supporting your husband through everything that was happening to him

All of my children know that I never want any heroic measures if I get progressively worse with my main health condition. :eek: I dread ending up in a Care Home as well, having had to deal with so many serious issues when my parents were living in Care Homes. I reported physical abuse of residents in one Care Home and it was then escalated to the Police. After the Police took my statement and my sister R's statement about the abuse we had witnessed by staff on residents, the whole investigation was then closed down. I was truly shocked. I do not want to end my life in a Care Home being abused in every way imaginable, the very idea fills me with horror.

My parents were fortunate that with so many adult children still alive, there was always someone to look after their needs and to fight their corner.

lessonlearned

Shanks....sorry I missed your post.

Yes the massages are for fibro. They are the most useful treatment I have found. They reduce pain and keep me mobile.

I cannot take any of the normal fibro prescription drugs because of stomach problems so I have had to look for alternatives, which is why I think I have become so interested in complimentary medicine. And why I have decided to go to college to both learn more and hopefully become a practitioner myself.

As a convert I want to spread the gospel. :rotfl:

I normally have Swedish massage, or when I can I can cope with it I will have deep tissue massage, although that can be too painful at times. I also try and stick to a paleo diet which is also heavily plant based, so lots of vegetables as well as moderate portions of meat and fish. I do have some dairy but am trying to cut down on cheese.

I try to walk and do yoga because I find exercise helps control the pain. As odd as it sounds exercise seems crucial in helping combat fibro. I admit I have to really force myself sometimes. I sometimes have to take a couple of paracetamol to take the edge off the pain so I can exercise to combat pain. :rotfl:

I also take a range of supplements that my nutritionist advised me to try.

I find warmth helps, so hot baths, lavender wheat packs, my electric blanket, sofa throws and shawls when sitting of an evening, and layering clothes when it is cold and damp. Keeping warm is critical, especially my feet, so warm socks and warm insoles in my shoes.

Then I use various lotions and gels. 12hr voltarol on my knees, tiger balm, my Own blend of massage oil, Epsom salt baths. Also copper and magnet therapy, bracelet, necklace and copper inserts in my shoes.

I sometimes think if only I could pop a pill my life would be so much easier but alas I can’t. I did try Cannabis oil. It helps but again my stomach rebels so I only use it sparingly.

Tbh. Most of the prescription drugs on offer for fibro do seem counter productive. They often have unpleasant side effects, such as stomach or bowel problems. Most of them are also highly addictive, losing their effectiveness after a while.

Fibro, and it’s sister polymyalgia, are strange conditions with symptoms that can vary from person to person. Rather like conditions such as ME and CFS not much is known about them. They can present with a baffling array of symptoms. And often they are linked to other conditions such as IBS, lupus and several other auto immune illnesses.

I am no expert but I have learned a lot and I think a lot of these types of conditions are linked to modern lifestyles with stress, diet, allergies, pollution, etc all having a significant role to play.

As a matter of interest I have been studying the stats on air pollution recently because I couldn’t help but notice how clean and fresh the air was in some of the countries I visited on my cruise. You could smell the difference.

My city regularly shows level 2 or 3. One day I decided to check out if other areas in the U.K. scored better....they didn’t. I checked out areas which I know to be more rural with very little industry and several places along the coast which I would have expected to have clean air. They were no better.

There didn’t seem to be anywhere on the U.K. mainland that had lower air pollution levels. Surprisingly enough London was no worse than anywhere else. It scored the same. Maybe the results were skewed because of atmospheric pressure that day, who knows. Still it’s food for thought.

Short of encasing ourself in a bubble I don’t know any answers. We have to breathe the air we have. All we can do is try to eat as healthily as possible and make sure we exercise enough.

And keep fabbing.

lessonlearned

SUgarbaby.....I agree. Having seen more of the care system than I ever wanted to know, I too dread the thought of ending up in a care home.

Yes some are good. I eventually found somewhere nice for my husband. Most of the staff were good but there were a couple of nightstaff who had to be monitored.

Over the years I had occasion to make a formal complaint and involve adult social services to ensure that my husband’s wishes were adhered to. But when the chips were down they did provide first class end of life care and they ensured his death was dignified and pain free. Same with mum and for that I am eternally grateful. My fathers death in hospital not handled nearly so well.

One of the reasons I rented a bungalow in the grounds of the nursing home was so that I could oversee his care and make sure he was ok. Also to keep him company. Care homes can be very lonely places, the days can be long and bleak. I spent hours on end keeping him entertained and just being with him, often till late at night.

I don’t regret the time, care and attention I lavished on him but I have paid a very high price in terms of not just my finances but also my own health.

My children won’t be able to do that for me and I wouldn’t want them too but like you I don’t relish the thought of spending too long in a care home.

shanks77

LL thank you so much for all the information it is really helpful and I appreciate you taking the time to go into so much detail xx

moneyistooshorttomention

sugarbaby125 wrote: »

My elder daughter's Health Assessments are done in her home for her PIP claim. The Assessor failed to keep her appointment so they stopped my daughter's PIP. :mad: She was not at fault. :(When she asked for her Mandatory Reconsideration they upheld their decision to stop her PIP. She has joined a support group of disabled claimants who have all had their PIP stopped. This is affecting thousands of disabled people who are entitled to the PIP and ESA they are claiming. This is a scandal that receives little publicity or awareness. :mad:

That's shocking:eek::eek: I never knew that. Sounds like a very quick/easy way to deliberately stop a benefit on their part - ie to make an appointment they never actually have any genuine intention to keep, precisely in order to pull that stunt on the claimant!

Though my main thoughts as to why that happened would focus round the fact they probably don't have enough staff for these visits and every so often someone dips out on a visit (eg if an assessor is off work ill). That may be another way to look at this - eg pointing out that, say, 10 staff are needed for these visits and they only have, say, 6 and therefore they are going to miss some of these visits and it's not the claimants fault they've done so (but because the "dice are loaded" against all claimants having the appointments that have been made). Therefore those claimants that don't get their visit shouldnt "miss out" because they were the one on the receiving end that time of staff shortages.

Has she contacted her MP to make it plain that missed appointment was not her fault/provide evidence she was there waiting to have the appointment/etc? Maybe an MP can make them "see reason"?

lessonlearned

Good morning lovely ladies...

Well I have done a few stretches, and cleaned out some drawers. Basically just flinging stuff with gay abandon for now. I will then go back in the week and reorganise the drawers, maybe move things around but for now just ditching as much as I can.

It’s like a voyage of discovery.......finding things I had forgotten about. Seeing as I haven’t needed or used them in aeons then they can go.

I am bathed and fragrant, did a face mask and mini manicure. Will paint my nails later before I go out. I am meeting a friend to see Peter Rabbit at the cinema and then a drink at a local hostelery. Should be fun.

Time for brunch, then carry on declutterng and some more exercise. I am trying breaking up both the decluttering sessions and my exercise into several short bursts instead of longer marathons, hopefully less strain on my knee and frozen shoulder and less tiring.

Have a great day y’all.

maman

Not doing much fabbing today although I will include cooking us a good meal!:D


Although I'm casually dressed in basically my 'house' clothes I feel good. I think about 4 week on from my last haircut it's now a length I like. My hair suffered last weekend both from soft water and damp weather.


Reading the discussion about massage, it's time I booked some treatments. Fortunately, mine are purely for fabbing/feel good reasons rather than pain. I have accrued some credit with Groupon due to cancelled appointments so it won't cost me anything. I got a bit cross with Groupon to be honest. In the past when an appointment has been cancelled (by the provider), they've always refunded the money but now they just give credits to the Groupon account. I sent various emails asking why the change of policy but got generic, meaningless answers.:mad:


I listened to an interesting programme on the radio this morning about financial abuse. It dealt with things like people (mostly women) whose partners tried to control them through finance including some extreme cases where, for example, a woman were being denied housing benefit and legal aid because she was deemed to have assets. The assets were her share of the marital home that she'd had to flee because of domestic violence!!:eek: What occurred to me sugarbaby was that the government is exercising financial abuse too... on benefit claimants. I agree with you that this government is really hurting disabled people with their policies.

chanie

Me and OH have spent the last few days decluttering now that our wardrobes are up. I took one bin liner to the clothes bank and dropped a bag of BNTW items off at the charity shop. Our bedroom is nearly back in order.

My new wardrobe has one rail for clothes, two shelves and 4 drawers. I have kondo-ed my drawers so that can see all my clothes and my shoes are also in the drawers. I love the way it is organised as I can see everything at a glance.



We started this project in September and are 80% done. We decorated and furnished 2 bedrooms for the children, but also had to buy wardrobes for the master bedroom. We have done all of the work ourselves, and we!!!8217;re constrained by time and money, which is why it has taken so long.

Benefits system
I am grateful that we have a benefits system in this country, but it is broken and needs a complete overhaul. I think it is disgraceful that people have to wait so long and to fight so hard to get assistance.
I think with a lot of these things, it is a case of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing and there is no communication between departments.

Maman how annoying about groupon changing their policy.

maman

You've done so well to do all the bedrooms chanie. It must be lovely walking from room to room with them all fresh and just as you want them. Well done on kondoing the drawers. I've stalled a bit with that but what I've noticed is that once it's done they stay done. I'm particularly pleased with my two drawers of tops/t shirts and jumpers. When I iron things I fold them MK style ready to put in the drawer. I've got them arranged in rainbow order with grey/black/white on the far right.:)