Parents seperatibg on bad terms who has the right to stay in the family home.

Poor_Single_lady

Hope you sister is OK.
And you get answers to the questions asked and what you need.
Not an easy situation for her to be in, but good that your Dad is in a Position to help. And she is lucky to have your support but very tough indeed.

hannahroberts1985

Thanks psl didn't get any real answers looks like everyone just started arguing above :0(

Thing have got worse. My step mum had a massive argument with my sister this morning about her not moving thing fast enough. She had stayed there a day and a half....this resulted in my sister leaving and she didn't want to be somewhere she felt unwelcome. The domestic advice line have told her not to go home so she is staying with her childminder tonight then will move in with my mum tomorrow (my mum is a worrier).

So now I guess my question is "is she entitled to help with rehousing from the council if her partner has been controlling corcevec domestic violence"...as the charity have suggested. My mum can't have her for too long as her house is small and she isn't in the best state of health. X

elsien

She would need to check with the council, and there may well be a duty to help because of the children. But she might find that initially it would be emergency accommodation and there would be no duty towards the adult son. And depending where in the country she is, she could be put somewhere out of town/away from schools and work, and possibly bed and breakfast type accommodation if somewhere where demand outstrips supply such as parts of London. The housing on offer and how long it takes to get somewhere okayish is very variable depending on her location.
If she's looking at the domestic violence route, but can stay where she is for a while, she might be better talking to a solicitor about whether it's possible to get him out of the house. They would be able to advise about qualifying for legal aid, but she will need evidence of what has been happening. Is there a law centre she can go to as a starting point?

ETA - do they have separate finances for bank accounts? She doesn't want to suddenly find out he's emptied a joint account, for example. So she needs to think about protecting herself in that respect if she hasn't already done so.

hannahroberts1985

Thanks Eislen, good advice. I'll see what the helpline suggest then add your suggestion to her. She's is such a crazy place right now I'm worried everything will overwhelm her. There is no adult son just a 1 and a 4 year old x

Comms69

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I don't think its 'drama queen' to be concerned about that behaviour. A lot of men do hurt their families, every day sadly, some of them have mental health issues and lots do not. Ignoring concerning actions like reaching for a knife when stressed is probably not wise.

How many??

thorsoak

Comms69 wrote: »

How many??

Last year 113 women were killed by partners in England & Wales and Northern Ireland.

Source: Women's Aid Femicide census.

Comms69

thorsoak wrote: »

Last year 113 women were killed by partners in England & Wales and Northern Ireland.

Source: Women's Aid Femicide census.

So not 'a lot' of men in that statistic.


1 is too many, but generalising half the population by saying 'a lot of men' doesn't seem like it's going to win much support.


Approx 30% of the population are 'relationship aged men' that's more than 20m people.


0.00006% of the demographic.


Now obviously that's death, I can assume injury is much higher. But I would still suggest


The nearest statistic I could find was 26% of women in the UK will experience some form of domestic violence from the age of 16. Which would suggest that the number of perpetrators is actually much lower. (we don't just have 1 partner from 16-death)


It's estimated 40% of victims of domestic abuse are men. It seem not a streatch to use the word's 'a lot' in either characterising both gender, or eliminating the need and using the word 'people'.


Thereby you don't stigmatise the vast majority of men and women who find abuse totally abhorrent.

Red-Squirrel_2

Comms69 wrote: »

So not 'a lot' of men in that statistic.

That's more than 2 a week, that's a lot.

The truth is the truth, if you feel personally attacked by it rather than horrified and upset, maybe that's something to do with you.

unforeseen

To put that number into context, there were 170 murders in London alone last year

dekaspace

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

That's more than 2 a week, that's a lot.

The truth is the truth, if you feel personally attacked by it rather than horrified and upset, maybe that's something to do with you.

The truth can be manipulated to whatever suits a argument, I have been the victim of domesic abuse from female partners and been laughed at when talking about it, be it because I am a physically big guy but the most common thing was "men can't be hurt by a womans punch"

And other forms like being told what to do, whom to be friends with or be threatened with my name ruined as she would claim I attempted to rape or beat her and everyone would believe her as she was female.

Numbers though even though 1 is 1 too many in terms of the population its miniscule in the grand scheme, how many people die from homelessness in the UK alone every year?