Parents seperatibg on bad terms who has the right to stay in the family home.

hannahroberts1985

Thank you that's what we thought just wanted to double check before moving her and the kids to my dads an hour drive away from the kids school and their childminder etc

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

She could change the locks.

hannahroberts1985

I don't think your allowed to legally change the locks if they both own the house.

Mojisola

hannahroberts1985 wrote: »

I don't think your allowed to legally change the locks if they both own the house.

You can change the locks but the other owner also has the right to replace the new locks.

hannahroberts1985

Not the solution we are after. Trying to keep things as calm as possible for the kids so provoking him and living there with changed locks isn't the answer. But I appreciate your suggestions.

UKTigerlily

mademoiselle wrote: »

Oh, wait just one moment. You say your sister told him the relationship was ended, and he got out a knife? And then locked himself into a bathroom?

I think your sister should be reporting this incident to the police, immediately; and then applying to a solicitor to get an injunction in place to restrain him coming anywhere near her again.

Men who pull out knives and go all Jack Nicholson/The Shining should not be let anywhere near a woman again - not to mention small children. It's pretty irrelevant that he didn't actually threaten her with it - the taking out of a knife, in response to a conversation about ending a relationship, is full of intended threat and harm, and should not be ignored.

She is probably hesitating about reporting it. That could be a BIG mistake. Please encourage her - report it.
Good luck.

Bit of a drama queen I see. Lots of people, including myself, have mental health problems & the one I have would be very triggered by a relationship ending; there is NO suggestion that he threatened anyone, in fact he locked himself AWAY from them . . . maybe so nobody saw/got hurt?? Where is the intended harm or threat to them? I've self harmed & have NEVER hurt anyone else, intended to hurt anyone else or threatened to

No wonder mental health is so badly sorted when people get all drama queen with 'men who take knives out on women' . . ANY gender, not MEN, and he didn't do that so !!!!!! calm yourself, we only know what the Sister says

mademoiselle_2

Oh, here come the apologists, explaining away inexcusable behaviour with fiction of their own!


You have no more idea why that man pulled out a knife, or what he intended to do with it, than anyone else - so why subvert it into an account of your own mental health issues?


If I wanted to be a fiction queen (like you!) I could imagine that man locked himself behind a door with a knife, so no-one could take it off him...while he worked himself up into sufficient a rage to stab the family that wanted to leave him. It's just as plausible as your little tale!


But I won't go there - I'll stick to the FACT, that ANYONE who responds to a family dispute by getting out a knife, is behaving in a totally unreasonable and dangerous manner - and that unreasonable and dangerous behaviour needs to be reported.


Trying to wave the 'disability therefore not my fault' card doesn't change that.

elsien

mademoiselle wrote: »

Oh, here come the apologists, explaining away inexcusable behaviour with fiction of their own!


You have no more idea why that man pulled out a knife, or what he intended to do with it, than anyone else - so why subvert it into an account of your own mental health issues?


If I wanted to be a fiction queen (like you!) I could imagine that man locked himself behind a door with a knife, so no-one could take it off him...while he worked himself up into sufficient a rage to stab the family that wanted to leave him. It's just as plausible as your little tale!


But I won't go there - I'll stick to the FACT, that ANYONE who responds to a family dispute by getting out a knife, is behaving in a totally unreasonable and dangerous manner - and that unreasonable and dangerous behaviour needs to be reported.


Trying to wave the 'disability therefore not my fault' card doesn't change that.

People do stupid things when they are upset. From OPs account he didn't threaten anyone. He didn't hurt anyone. There is nothing in the first post to indicate he is dangerous, otherwise OPs sister would have been on the phone to 999 when it happened.
You being unpleasant to other posters won't change that. And I also think your post was an overreaction.
Sometimes people move out because they don't want to be in the same house any more. Not because they are a threat. Not because they are scared their partner is a risk to them or their children. But just because they don't want to be around each other any more. No more. No less.

Red-Squirrel_2

UKTigerlily wrote: »

Bit of a drama queen I see. Lots of people, including myself, have mental health problems & the one I have would be very triggered by a relationship ending; there is NO suggestion that he threatened anyone, in fact he locked himself AWAY from them . . . maybe so nobody saw/got hurt?? Where is the intended harm or threat to them? I've self harmed & have NEVER hurt anyone else, intended to hurt anyone else or threatened to

No wonder mental health is so badly sorted when people get all drama queen with 'men who take knives out on women' . . ANY gender, not MEN, and he didn't do that so !!!!!! calm yourself, we only know what the Sister says

I don't think its 'drama queen' to be concerned about that behaviour. A lot of men do hurt their families, every day sadly, some of them have mental health issues and lots do not. Ignoring concerning actions like reaching for a knife when stressed is probably not wise.

Ames

Some people also threaten to hurt themselves as a way of controlling and manipulating others. They've no intention of actually doing anything.