Adventures of the Boy & Me: Part 2..

Chandelier.

Evening,

What a whirlwind the past three days have been. They've gone so fast.

Yesterday we met up with my work friend but her daughter didn't come due to having a bad day so her son came instead who was absolutely lovely. We had a good natter over dinner and it was good to get things off my chest. I discussed the situation about the current man friend in my life and recieved a different perspective which opened my eyes a bit more. It's interesting to see how the other person copes and deals with an individual going through a crisis/bad times. I need to be more mindful of that.

I then went round to man friend house (he's just recently moved into a new house) and helped him clean around his kitchen and put everything into place. Throughout this we slowly broke the ice and began talking more and seemed to have come to a better place. We went to a local furniture store where he ordered a new sofa and I picked up a new alarm clock from argos as my current one has broken. Its the old style fashioned one with bells that ring, woo :rotfl:. He then came with me to watch the boy ice skate and we both ended up going on the ice which was fun. We ended the night with a takeaway which was nice.

Today we went to pick up a new rug for his place and I got some petrol whilst I was out which was £25.00. I bought some other bits and bobs from pound store which totalled to £6. After that we went bowling with the boy and had a simple sausage roll for lunch . So all in all a nice day and I'm now back watching yet another of the boy's ice skating lesson. I think I'm going to nio back to man friends house after and lend him a fridge we no longer use until he manages to sort one out for his new house and we'll probably go food shopping too.

I'm happy that things seem to be back on track and hope he understands what I went through. I have a plan of action to alleviate and work through future episodes if they arise which is a big step for me.

I an guilty of having a bad habit of smoking and could easily near enough go through a packet a day. I've decided although I don't want to give up just yet, I've swapped to smoking tobacco and roll ups which is saving me money. So although not totally MSE its money savings in some ways. Ultimately the plan will be to give up completely but only when I am in a better place.

Thats pretty much it for now. I'm working both days at the weekend so they should pretty much be no spend days :j:T

Chandelier.

Morning,

It's been a busy couple of days again.

Yesterday I spent the morning chilling out before work and then I worked 1-9pm. I had a good shift and love working with all my colleagues, they make the days so much better. I'm aware how lucky I am for this and count my blessings every day. There is always someone there for me and I always receive plenty of hugs. For a person who used to hate close contact and invasion of my personal space, I'm alot more open to it now and affectionate to those who matter.

I'm also off to work today on the same shift. The morning has been spent with the boy doing his ice skating. He skates 4 days a week and is doing really well. This does affect my bank balance though but I always set a budget for this each month .

Tomorrow the plan is to get my car valeted as it was cancelled last week due to poor weather. That will cost me £50. Not very MSE but its a job I hate doing. I tend to get it done every six months and try to keep it clean in the mean time. I need to find my car mats to put down.

I've alot of things to sort out this week. I need to start decluttering and reorganising my bedroom to prepare for it to be decorated at some point. I shall go through all clothes and cupboards/wardrobes with the aim to declutter. I shall set myself a target each time I do it to get rid of at least 15-20 items each time. I may send a lot to the charity shops. It's one way of giving.

I've emailed my mobile phone insurers to cancel my phone insurance now my phone is two years old as I think its no longer necessary. This will save me £6.99 a month. Towards the middle of the month I shall swap my phone over to sim only with giff gaff as planned.

I need to sort a future budget for the next upcoming months that allow me to save money towards annual costs such as service/mot/cat insurance.

I also need to work out what I need to save towards our holiday in September, I think the balance is due around May. I've already some money set aside in a seperate bank account which could go towards it.

Another budget is my sisters upcoming wedding in October which involves hen do costs, hair and makeup, shoes and money as a gift. I'll probably give them money towards something they would like to purchase unless they have something specific in mind. I've lots of time to think about it.

I still need to think about what goals I'd like to set and work towards in 2018. This will probably take some time as they need to be realistic and I need to remember not to put too much pressure on myself.

Anyhow the boy's lesson is due to finish shortly so I best get back.

Chandelier.

So its been nearly two weeks since I last updated.. alot has gone on since then.

My mental health took a serious turn for the worse and I ended up between a rock and a hard place. I threw away all my medication and ended up having to sort it all out. I was assessed over last weekend and finally saw someone from my care team this friday just gone. Hopefully we have a plan in place and things will start to get better mentally/emotionally.

My physical health is also poor. I had pneumonia in November and still haven't recovered properly from that so a trip to the doctors on Friday resulted in a diagnosis of recurring infection which meant further antibiotics and an inhaler to see me through. I'm due to be seen again for a follow-up on Tuesday. I've also managed to bring an urology appointment forward from June to the end of this month which is good, the perks of working for the good ole national health system. My immune system is totally shot and I need to build it back up, I'm susceptible to everything at the moment and there is so much going around at work that I have to be careful.

So I need to put a plan in place to tackle both options as above. I have a couple of ideas, I just need to write them down and implement them.

The boy seems to be ticking along just fine. He's having a few issues at school regarding bullying so I'll be going into school at some point this week to hopefully sort things out. His teacher is quite understanding/empathetic and seems to be on the ball with these things.

Money wise, this month has been a tight and spendy month so far. I've had my car valeted which cost £50 but was worth it and I also had my hair done which cost £47. I feel much better for both being done. I've also been guilty of having a few takeaways, this must be stopped. I'm just writing January off as a bad month and will refocus at the end of the month/beginning of February.

I need to sort out an annual budget/upcoming expenses and start to divert money elsewhere into seperate pots to cover the cost of these. I also need to sort monthly budget costs. I'm losing track of my accounts and which pot is for what. I have two seperate current accounts which I should utilise more- one for bills and direct debits and another for daily spends.

I've gone through all my direct debits and bills and looked at where I can cut back. I've cancelled my mobile phone insurance and my contract with EE. I'm waiting for the final bill. I've transferred my number over to giff gaff and chosen a plan which is £10 per month and should suit my needs, if not I can always review this at a later point.

The past couple of weeks have just been rather busy. My routine is still out of sync and I can't wait for it to resume to some sort of normality.

Today is my day off and has been a chill out day. I've been organising some paperwork and other things that needed doing which I feel better for.

I also had a tyre puncture repaired this morning which cost £12.50. It must of happened at some point yesterday and I just about managed to drive it home. I really need to look into breakdown cover because at the moment I have none. I'll see whether its cheaper utilise a package my bank offers which includes travel insurance and phone insurance ot whether its cheaper seperate.

Anyhow best get my thinking cap on and sort some things out whilst I have the time. I'm going to try and focus on my yearly/annual costs and work out what needs to go where.

Florence_J

Hello, I read something from someone on twitter recently saying that there is so much pressure to have everything sorted in January (to be under way with every new project and resolution), but you are all still recovering from Christmas, that really we should just concentrate on surviving January and work on where we want to be going forward in February.

Take care of yourself first, January is tough for a lot of people. You are doing well.

Chandelier.

Afternoon,

I've spent the past couple of days drawing up budgets which include annual expenses and monthly expenses. I've taken the time to go through each category with a fine tooth comb and have a better idea of where I stand.

Usually I budget for the basic bills/direct debits/monthly outgoings and then divert any other money into one savings pot or use any spare for additional spends. When it comes to annual expenses I usually use the money from the general saving pot.

However I've noticed I don't keep my eye on the ball at times and at times have several outgoings that I don't know what for, an example of this is entertainment. I don't generally set a budget for this and sometimes spend more for the sake of it and then I realise.

I used to be really on the ball with my money but the past 12/18 months have been a whirlwind and I've not focused on it as much. I used to use a basic piggybanking method which seemed to work well but I've decided to go one step further this time and have several pots for different things. I'll go into detail with this in another post.

This year has a lot of upcoming expenses/events until around September/October time so I've created one budget for this and then another to follow on from then.

I've worked out an income that includes my basic wage and other income. The thing is with my job I get a standard wage but then there is an opportunity to recieve enhancements when working weekends/unsociable hours meaning my income can fluctuate. I'm not including receiving the enhancements as, as far as I'm concerned this is a bonus. I shall just adjust my budget each month once I know my final income. Any extra can go towards savings/emergency funds.

As stated the plan is to use the piggy banking method and utilise three seperate banks whom all offer different accounts and meet my needs and requirements in a way that suits me. It may seem complicated to some but it makes sense to me. I seem to be able to understand and get my head around more complex methods/situations then simple ones.

I've also been thinking about closing down some of my credit card accounts which are no longer any use to me. These were beneficial when utilising the 0% offers to pay off my car and for the dental work I had done but now they are paid off they are sat there empty and are no use to me. If I'm wanting to improve my credit history I need to find cards that are of use to me and will benefit me in the long run for different things.

I've already opened up another credit card account which offers £50 cashback and I only need to spend £1000 over the next three months to qualify which should be easily done. The idea will be to put a couple of my outgoings onto this and pay in full via direct debit when due each month to avoid interest charges. I will set the direct debits up and move money around from each seperate budget/category to cover this. An example of these include petrol purchases, shopping or paying for the boy's activities. Basically I'm going to make it work in a way that benefits me. Plus it will also cover me for section 75 purposes for any expenses over £100 should I ever need it.

I shall keep maybe one or two of the accounts which offer 0% on purchases or money/balance transfers incase any big expenses arise that I haven't budgeted for. These will most likely be the accounts which I've had the longest history with. Many of the others have no use to me anymore and are sat there empty.

The idea overall is not to get into debt fot bigger purchases or expenses and to wait/save instead.

In regards to savings, I already have a Help to Buy Isa which has a tidy sum in and I pay the maximum £200 into this each month. I've also recently set up a regular saver account with my main bank account that offers 5% interest after a 12 month period, I shall be paying the maximum of £300 into this each month. I have money tucked away from recent inheritance that I'm not quite sure what to do with as of yet and how to best utilise this. This makes up the bulk of what shall be a deposit for a house when I decide I want to move out and purchase a property/get a mortgage.

Overall I'm trying to plan for the future for me and the boy in a way that will make things easier and much more secure.

I shall follow on with seperate posts about the ideas of my plans and it will also serve as a reminder to me of what I'm doing and how I choose to do this. I shall always be able to look back on it should I fall off the bandwagon.

Maybe it may inspire some other readers, who knows. From reading many diaries/threads on the forum I have certainly learnt alot of things and have been inspired myself. It's definately been one heck of a journey and one I will continue to ride.

There are many reasons why I'm so money focused and I may go into detail at a later time but for now it's to focus on the present.

Chandelier.

So I've spent the afternoon checking out my credit file reports and seeing which credit accounts still remain active. I'm waiting for them to finally show the correct balances but I'm aware this could take a couple of months.

Whilst doing all of this I discovered I had a total credit limit available of £27800. I never actually realised how much was available between all my cards and it came as quite a shock. This was all spread across nine different cards and is slightly more then what I earn in a year. I understand that this might have shown as risky, especially when it will come to applying for a mortgage in later years. So I've sat down and gone through them all, worked out whom I've had the longest financial history with and have closed six of the nine accounts and decreased some of the limits.

CLOSED

1) MBNA: £3300
2) Virgin: £500
3) AA: £2500
4) Halifax: £900
5) Halifax: £3500
6) Post Office: £3000

TOTAL: £13700.

OPEN

1) MBNA: £3600
2) Sainsburys: £3000 (Original limit £6000)
3) Barclaycard: £3000 (Original limit £4500

TOTAL: £9600.

So overall through cancelling cards and reducing limits I have managed to reduce what credit was available to me by £18200. I've ordered new cards for each of the remaining credit cards and when they arrive, I'll put them away safely for just incase emergencies.

I am still awaiting a fourth credit card to arrive via post which as mentioned in previous entries will be used for cashback purposes only and cleared in full each month. I'll update this post with the available limit when it arrives.

So it looks like over the next two weeks I'll be recieving lots of new bank cards/credit cards im the post and I shall be cutting up and destroying the old ones. I must admit to using one of the old ones to scrape ice off my car when it's been cold, I knew they came in handy for a reason :rotfl:.

Chandelier.

So I've also sorted out my accounts for the piggy banking method. I have seperate accounts for all upcoming/expected budgets for over the year and will transfer money to these at the beginning of each month. If there is anything left over at the end of the month I will leave these to build up a buffer just incase I need more one month then another.

Here goes..

SANTANDER

1) Holiday Fund: £100 per month. (This will account towards spending money for our upcoming holiday in September. Following this it shall be used for further adventures and may well be increased further down the line).

2) Car Fund: £125 per month. (This will cover car tax, mot, servicing and insurance).

3) Sister's Wedding Fund: £70 per month. (This is what I shall be saving per month up until October as I'm a bridesmaid and will cover hen do costs, hair and makeup, dress, shoes, accesories, hotel stay, spending money and money towards a gift. It's going to be rather spendy but worth it).

4) Registration Fee Fund: £15 per month. (This is an annual cost and due in September. It's a must have in order for me to work).

5) Birthday Fund: £35 per month. (This should cover all birthdays across the year for cards and presents, including the boys).

6) Christmas Fund: £55 per month. (This year I will actually save instead of buying as I go along. I've set an overall budget of £660 to give myself breathing space. I'm aware of whom I will be buying for and will be cutting right back this year so hopefully should come under budget).

7) Petrol Budget: £80 per month. (Give or take a few quid, this can vary from month to month depending on what I'm doing. If there is leftover at the end of the month I'll just roll it over).

8) Childcare: £70 per month. (This is about accurate for wrap around care. It may change after the summer depending on what happens. There is the possibility his grandparents are retiring and maybe available to do afterschool care around my work schedule).

9) Ice Skating: £350 per month. (An expensive hobby but the boy loves it so I'm in no rush to cut back on this area in current circumstances. The costs can fluctuate each month so may be able to build a buffer).

HALIFAX

1) HTB Isa: £200 per month. (I save the maximum amount I can here. I have a tidy sum so far and will continue to build this up till I decide to fly the nest).

2) Entertainment Fund: £200 per month. (This should cover all other entertainment purposes including socialising and days out. I'm going to try minimise costs and build up a buffer here to cover things like activities over the school holidays and will look for the best deals possible).

FIRST DIRECT

1) Main Account: £300 per month. (This will cover all the main bills/direct debits for the month. My general outgoings here are low and I've cut back and made sure I'm paying for essentials only).

2) 5% Saver Account: £300 per month. (I shall continue to take advantage of this offer and pay in the maximum possible over the next twelve months in order to qualify for the 5% interest rate. After the twelve months are up I should have around £3600 which will go towards the house deposit fund).

3) Emergency Fund: £100 per month. (I shall use this as a buffer for any unexpected surprises or blips over the year. If there is any money left over it shall go towards the house deposit fund at the end of the year).

So... 14 seperate accounts which all will serve their own purpose. Most of them are what would usually go into one big general saving pot and used as required but I've decided to shake things up a bit in order to see the true costs and spends over each month.

I will continue to look at ways of cutting costs and cutting back in areas where I'm able to. However I'm not in any rush to go anywhere at the moment so I will look forward to enjoying life and creating as many adventures as possible

Chandelier.

February Budget 2018.

Bills

- Board: £200
- Childcare: £70
- Union Fees: £16.40
- Gym: £12.99
- Denplan: £11.99
- Prescription: £10.40
- Mobile: £10

Budgets

- Entertainment: £200
- Ice Skating: £350
- Petrol: £80

Savings

- FD Saver: £300
- HTB Isa: £200
- Holiday Fund: £100
- Car Fund: £125
- Wedding Fund: £70
- Registration Fee Fund: £15
- Birthday Fund: £35
- Christmas Fund: £55
- Emergency Fund: £100

Total: £1961.78

Income: £2352
Outgoings: £1961.78
Surplus: £390.22

There is a healthy surplus here and I will most likely siphon this off and find it a place or a home to stay in, most likely an extra savings account.

Chandelier.

Morning,

Another few days have passed since I last updated following the posts from my newly aquired budget for February and the piggybanking method I intend to use. I've received all income payments for this month and have sat down this morning and allocated the money to each pot. I feel a lot better for this and I'm determined to build up each pot as much as possible for the annual expenses and maybe some months I'll come under budget in certain areas and build up a buffer. The current plan is to run until September which is when most of my annual expenses have been paid. I've then set up a new plan/budget to follow on from there.

We have many occasions coming up this year. The three main ones are my mum's 60th in April, a Caribbean cruise in September and my sister's wedding in October. I'm sure along the way we will have more occasions but for now they are the ones I'm mostly saving up for.

I'm hoping to plan a surprise birthday party for my mum's 60th. I've yet to set a budget for that as I need to organise and look around for venue hires and other birthday related things. In regards to decorations and food, I'll do them myself. I've asked my sister to design the invites (she's a graphic designer) so thats one less expense. Once designed i shall utilise one of the photo printing services and try and get the free prints whilst only pay postage and packaging. Maybe I should draw up a rough budget and hopefully my brother and sister will contribute towards this. It would only be fair.

I've not much planned for today apart from I'm going to my friends for a coffee and catch up and I'm going to enquire about car breakdown cover- I think I've found a good plan with greenflag that covers everything for an annual fee of £57.48. I found this through a price comparison website whilst its usual website was offering the same deal for just over £90. I'll phone up later to sort this out.

I mentioned in my last diary how after the shenanigans of old manfriend, I had another friend who was interested in me. So this is my new manfriend whom is absolutely wonderful and a genuine person. He managed to get me through some of the darkest and toughest times. He's also experienced my meltdown over Christmas and is still here in my life. We became very close quickly but recent events have meant we hit a rocky patch. Ultimately I don't want to lose him. I want to carry on dating him and see where things go, we are so alike and have alot in common. Lately though things are hard and we only get to see each other for short periods due to him having a lot on his plate with moving into a new house and other personal stuff going on in his life. I haven't always reacted to this well but I need to learn and accept this is how things are going to be for a while. With everything going on and my moods being so up and down I've struggled a lot and haven't been my usual self. My actions and behaviours have had a knock on effect and caused a few arguments. Last night I sat and wrote a letter apologising and explained things. I struggle to verbalize what I think and feel so thought this may be the best way, so I dropped it off after I wrote it. I just hope he reads it and understands to some extent. I'm going to give him a bit of time and space to sort out what's going on in his life, he doesnt need any extra hassle from me. I just need to let things go and learn to chill out/relax.

In regards to my mental health, things aren't brilliant and my care team have let me down massively. I haven't seen my CPN for over three weeks now as she is off sick but when I've phoned the on duty team, no one has ever phoned me back. We had a close call the other week where I ended up having to go to A&E to be assessed. Nothing much came of that. I understand its only me that can ultimately change things but I also need the support and backing from others. The people around me at work have been brilliant and my manager has referred me to occupational health to see if we can access some counselling or CBT. I've decided I'm going to put in a complaint about my care team and see where that goes.

The boy continues to be wonderful and his ice skating is coming on really well. If he's not skating he's at home playing lego or asking to play board games and even getting back into reading his own books. Once he's tucked into bed at night time, he leaves a little lamp on and does some night time reading. I've been thinking about giving him some pocket money each week. When I asked him how much he would like he said a pound would be enough haha! Bless him. I think I'm going to give him £5 a week and will educate him about money handling and saving. Ultimately it's up to him what he wants to do with it but to be honest I think he would probably save most of it up to buy himself some more lego. Thats the whole point though isn't it? Teaching them to be patient and save up for things rather then impulsively buying them without thinking. I'm sometimes guilty of this, as is my mum. In return for the pocket money, all I expect is for him to keep his room and toys tidy, to do some light household chores and complete all homework that is expected and organise his school things. I think thats enough responsibility for a seven year old and I need to take a step back and allow him to do these things. I want to prepare him for the future and get back into a routine.

Anyway I best be off and carry on with my day. I'll probably post an update later with anything else I remember I have to say.

Au revoir.

Scott_Weiland_2

A new diary I will post when I can stranger. I hope your fighting and are doing okay.