bit of a vent, Snide comment on facebook.

lika_86

If it was me I'd buy a nice thank you card, put a paint handprint of your daughter's in the card and write a nice thank you message explaining that there has been a bit of a delay but that now your daughter is here that, rather than just passing on a message via someone, you want to get into the habit of thanking people for gifts properly with a thank you letter.

It's passive aggressive but will set up expectations for future years and instill a good habit of thank you letters which you can pass onto your daughter when she's old enough to do it herself.

AylesburyDuck

I'll be honest, why didnt your wife have your back, she was quick enough to defend her mother. I'd be telling my Mother not to be unreasonable, especially if plastered on FB.
I think now she has her own family she has to rethink her prioritys.
Sorry if this answer is unpopular.:(

LilElvis

A big bonus of having elderly parents is that they don't do social media - they don't have smart phones and they would never have them switched on in any case.

pearl123

Clearly, your MIL has bad manners. To top it she is attention seeking.

bagpussbear

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

I'll be honest, why didnt your wife have your back, she was quick enough to defend her mother. I'd be telling my Mother not to be unreasonable, especially if plastered on FB.
I think now she has her own family she has to rethink her prioritys.
Sorry if this answer is unpopular.:(

Agree with this. OP, your mum in law is definitely out of order. But your wife could have spoken to her mum the moment she saw the comment and ask her to remove it, and tell her it was unreasonable and not to air her dirty linen on Facebook!

Personally, I think your wife should speak to her mum now and say that it had upset you. I think you deserve an apology.

ska_lover

I think the MIL is a bit juvenile putting stuff like that on FB, and a bit touchy that the appreciation was not immediate


I wouldn't, but it would be tempting to facebook status back tagging in the Mil 'Thank you for my present'


So passive aggressive though!

Pollycat

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

I'll be honest, why didnt your wife have your back, she was quick enough to defend her mother. I'd be telling my Mother not to be unreasonable, especially if plastered on FB.
I think now she has her own family she has to rethink her prioritys.
Sorry if this answer is unpopular.:(

It's a pretty popular answer with me.
You just beat me to it, I think exactly the same.

I'd be displeased if my OH had done that to me.
But he wouldn't have.
He'd have told his Mother to get over herself and stop behaving like a 15 year old drama queen.

happyandcontented

I don't really get the "passive-aggressive" comments. I think responding to someone pleasantly with the facts of the issue when they have made a snide comment is just putting them in the picture from your perspective. Allowing them to think about their behaviour by reminding them that life intervenes. The OP knows whether he intended to send his thanks, and, as long as he did, a 12-hour shift is a good enough reason for the delay.

I think the real nub of the matter lies in the OP's MIL was alone on Boxing Day when they celebrated Christmas with her new Grandchild.....might she have expected an invite?

Red-Squirrel_2

Kill with kindness!

'Hi MIL! You mustn't have realised I was working a 12 hour shift on Christmas Day and that we were celebrating our Christmas Day on Boxing Day, don't worry its hard to keep track of everything at this time of year! Hope you had a lovely Christmas. xxx'

Robisere

I had the (second) MIL who was a lovely lady and I would have done anything for her: providing she had baked some of her wonderful cakes! My first MIL would have been at home as a concentration camp guard and was instrumental in ending that first relationship: nothing I did was ever right. When I left, I took a detour to her house and told her calmly what I thought of her. Her husband simply walked out of the room, like the bully and coward he was.

So I know what life is like with that sort of MIL, but now, having been happily married for many years, I can look back and realise what the first MIL's life was like. She wasn't alone, but would have been better off without the domineering, supercilious, money-fixated pillock she called her husband. Now I can see that had so much effect upon her and her moods.

Your MIL was alone, you say: perhaps that loneliness has made her the way she is.