Feeling Upset After Christmas Present Giving

gettingtheresometime

February - I love my mum to bits but it wasn’t until I got to the airport did I realise I’d forgotten to send her a card.

Could it be that they’re planning a surprise for you on Christmas Day?

Sarastro

I can see why you'd be upset about it.

It's possible to say that the son should have got his act together, but he didn't. Although I'm inclined to be more sympathetic than judgemental about it and I suggest you do the same.

It's up to you how you feel about it, not up to them to make you feel better. You could just decide to forgive them for being insensitive / disorganised / whatever. Don't need to say anything to them, just do it in your head and you will feel less upset about it.

If you want, you could drop a hint. Next time you speak offer to help with something, anything. And just say, "I'd love a nice picture of granddaughter, do you have one of her smiling I could put in a frame"? and leave it at that. The ongoing relationship is far more important than one Christmas.

downshifted

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this February. I would too.

We can’t change people’s behaviour only our reaction to it. So chin up and have a good Christmas. Put your disappointment to one side and make the best of the next few days

ScarletRibbons

I feel for you OP, how upsetting. I know that new parents tend to be in a bit of a "bubble", it's just them and the baby in the world! but they could have acknowledged that it's Christmas for you too.

The trouble is when you're on your own it's easy to start stewing over stuff, and getting more and more upset.

As other posters have said , they may be waiting for pay day, but if this is the case they should have said so. Or, maybe, they have something for you and have forgotten to give it to you.

Hope it resolves without upset.

iammumtoone

LilElvis wrote: »

I'm surprised that everyone is so ready to "forgive" the son and gf for being so thoughtless simply because they have a baby. How long does it take to place an order with Amazon for a present and Moonpig for a card?

I'm not the most organised person, far from it, but I managed to buy all the family gifts as usual, had all 3 grandparents stay for 3 nights, cook all the meals whilst also dealing with a 4 month old. I'm pretty certain that I'm not the only one who has managed to combine a normal Christmas whilst having a small child, or several, to deal with!

I don think posters are necessary willing to forgive, they are trying to give a different perspective to the OP who is clearly upset.

I will would be terribly upset in this situation and the OP has every right to be but as others have said you can't change what has happened only how you react to it.

OP seems to have a good relationship with son and his gf its not worth ruining for this, plenty of situations where its understandable families fall out but this is not one of them.

Pollycat

I can understand why you are feeling upset.

What's happened in previous years?
Has your son always bought you a present? And sent a card?

If he has, it may just be that they've simply been too busy to think (which is thoughtless).

When he asked you what you wanted, did you say 'nothing'?
Maybe he's taken it literally.

I hope it's helped getting it out on here.

LilElvis

iammumtoone wrote: »

I don think posters are necessary willing to forgive, they are trying to give a different perspective to the OP who is clearly upset.

I will would be terribly upset in this situation and the OP has every right to be but as others have said you can't change what has happened only how you react to it.

OP seems to have a good relationship with son and his gf its not worth ruining for this, plenty of situations where its understandable families fall out but this is not one of them.

Having spotted this post from the OP earlier this month it would seem that the relationship with the son and gf is not without issues:

Februarycat wrote: »

I can understand how you feel, I'm in a similar situation to you, I lost my mum, then my dad a year after, then my husband had an affair and we got divorced, then lost my lovely cat, then my son left home to live with his fianc!e, who is very controlling and my son is afraid to upset her by visiting me, they only live 15 mins drive from me, but never come over and they have recently had a baby, my granddaughter, but not bought her over to my house, I did go over twice last month to see granddaughter, but felt like his fianc!e did not really want me involved with granddaughter.


I'm spending Xmas on my own like last year, I just try and treat it as a normal day and keep busy. Sorry to hear about your situation, I think it always seems worse at Xmas time, when everyone is visiting family. Please pm if you want to chat more.

bagpussbear

I can understand why you are feeling upset OP, I would be too.

If your son asked about what you wanted a few weeks back, then I think they simply forgot to give your present to you.

If you are feeling upset, why not give them a ring today to say how much you enjoyed seeing them yesterday and ask that you think you forgot your card from them, and await the reaction.

I bet they will say oh goodness, we forgot, it's here etc etc, and then you will feel better about the whole thing.

At least, I hope that is what will happen :-)

Februarycat

Thanks everyone for your replies and advice, after a sleepless night thinking about it, I was going to send my ds a message to say how I felt, but he has text me this morning to say they both forgot to give me my present and I should have reminded them! I said I was not going to ask where my present was when I left. Anyway I now have to wait till January when its his birthday and I next see him, to get my present, better late than never I guess! Thanks again everyone

Februarycat

Pollycat wrote: »

I can understand why you are feeling upset.

What's happened in previous years?
Has your son always bought you a present? And sent a card?

If he has, it may just be that they've simply been too busy to think (which is thoughtless).

When he asked you what you wanted, did you say 'nothing'?
Maybe he's taken it literally.

I hope it's helped getting it out on here.

Yes he usually gets me a present, not always a card. Your right if I did say nothing, he would take it literally, but he did ask me for a list of ideas this time.