So surprised to be written out of my fathers will

Barny1979

Spendless wrote: »

Just another thought, was the will made many years ago?

Is it possible that at the point the will was made, the house was worth less and over the years the house has increased in value and that is why there's a discrepancy in the amounts left?

OP- Did you Dad leave you a stated £10K or did he leave you 'all his money'. If it's the latter, then paying out for care home fees over many years would have reduced this amount.

I just wanted to touch base on whether I have means to challenge my fathers will(produced in 2014)

svain

Pollycat wrote: »

Why is it reasonable?
The will is as it is.
The OP has his inheritance - that's £10k. The inheritance that his Father chose to leave him.
Why should the sisters have to shed any light on what is sod all to do with the OP?
I have no idea what you mean about families having difficult conversations without falling out.

It doesn't matter whether anyone can shed light on anything.
Believe it or not, some families make wills that beneficiaries aren't happy with.

..... and avoiding the obvious elephant in the room or the potential awkwardness when in his sisters (his sisters may feel the same way) company is the best way to go??? Do me a favour!!

This is more than just about the money .... Sticking heads in the sand in this situation is cowardly and will just creates more problems. It may be a very simple answer one of the sisters may know the answer to. It doesnt mean he is entitled to more money, but will allow him closure if he genuinely is unaware of the reason, clears the air with the sisters and they all move on .... this really isnt rocket science!!

barbiedoll

My late aunt had made her will a good few years before she died. She showed it to me when we were talking about her “arrangements” for when the time came (she was very old!) and she was worried that her will was leaving everything to my mum, but in the event of my mum dying first, everything would have gone to me and my sister equally, leaving my brother out. At the time of writing the will, my brother owned a very successful company, so she figured that he would have no need of the money.

By the time I saw her will, my brother’s company, and money, had gone. She asked if she should have her will rewritten but as I, and my sister told her, we would split everything 3 ways anyway, so it didn’t matter (we’re talking a few thousand pounds, no property).

We don’t know the circumstances of this, but I would hope that OP’s sisters would do the right thing, as long as he agreed to share his inheritance too. A £400k+ house, still leaves everyone a sizeable share, even when split 4 ways. Personally, I couldn’t live with myself if this was my brother and would be embarrassed to take a larger share to his detriment.

OP, out of interest, did your dad know your wife? Did he dislike her or have any reason not to trust her? Maybe he didn’t want her to benefit from his money?

Tabbytabitha

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

OP wouldnt be the one "spoiling the relationships" - the sisters would.

Imo to say "It wasnt me that wrote that will like that yer honour" is a useful excuse for those that "come out to the good" from an unfair Will. It's perfectly within their powers to amend things after the event and if they've chosen not to do so - then that's down to them and saying that was a useful excuse to use to justify it.

Wills don't have to be "fair" anymore than people do. The father presumably had his reasons for disposing of his estate in the way he did and the OP either knows what they are (and isn't saying) or he doesn't. There's no earthly reason why a parent should have to leave their estate in equal portions if they don't want, even if the reason is simply that their feelings for their children aren't equal.

moneyistooshorttomention

Shocked at the thought that a parent might treat one of their children worse than other/s just because of their "feelings not being equal" - and not for any logical reason.

But I guess a lot of people become parents that don't have a grasp of the most basic fact - that it's totally irrelevant what their feelings are towards their children (at any age) if there's no logical reason for those feelings (but just a personal emotional preference). Part of electing to become a parent imo is knowing that it's irrelevant if you feel more positively towards one than any others - they must be treated exactly the same if they themselves havent "done anything wrong" - as thats part of the definition of being a good parent.

One should never be able to tell which of a parents children are their "favourite" - though I know only one of my friends holds to that and I could certainly tell you which of their children another one of my friends has as "favourite" (though she's never said a word telling me so - and the other child "has done nothing wrong" that I can see).

gettingtheresometime

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Shocked at the thought that a parent might treat one of their children worse than other/s just because of their "feelings not being equal" - and not for any logical reason.

But I guess a lot of people become parents that don't have a grasp of the most basic fact - that it's totally irrelevant what their feelings are towards their children (at any age) if there's no logical reason for those feelings (but just a personal emotional preference). Part of electing to become a parent imo is knowing that it's irrelevant if you feel more positively towards one than any others - they must be treated exactly the same if they themselves havent "done anything wrong" - as thats part of the definition of being a good parent.

One should never be able to tell which of a parents children are their "favourite" - though I know only one of my friends holds to that and I could certainly tell you which of their children another one of my friends has as "favourite" (though she's never said a word telling me so - and the other child "has done nothing wrong" that I can see).

I’d agree with you to a certain extent but sometimes the actions of the children make it difficult not to favour one child over another.

I’d find it hard not to favour a child that took time out for me whilst I was still alive.

Tabbytabitha

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Shocked at the thought that a parent might treat one of their children worse than other/s just because of their "feelings not being equal" - and not for any logical reason.

But I guess a lot of people become parents that don't have a grasp of the most basic fact - that it's totally irrelevant what their feelings are towards their children (at any age) if there's no logical reason for those feelings (but just a personal emotional preference). Part of electing to become a parent imo is knowing that it's irrelevant if you feel more positively towards one than any others - they must be treated exactly the same if they themselves havent "done anything wrong" - as thats part of the definition of being a good parent.

One should never be able to tell which of a parents children are their "favourite" - though I know only one of my friends holds to that and I could certainly tell you which of their children another one of my friends has as "favourite" (though she's never said a word telling me so - and the other child "has done nothing wrong" that I can see).

You don't have to like your children, you know - it isn't compulsory.

onomatopoeia99

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Wills don't have to be "fair" anymore than people do. The father presumably had his reasons for disposing of his estate in the way he did and the OP either knows what they are (and isn't saying) or he doesn't. There's no earthly reason why a parent should have to leave their estate in equal portions if they don't want, even if the reason is simply that their feelings for their children aren't equal.

Indeed, the ability to breed does not make someone a good parent, and treating their children differently is an excellent indication of someone that isn't a good parent.

If you make the choice to become a parent, and it is a choice because birth control and terminations are readily available on the mainland, then you have no excuse not to treat your children well and equitably. If you can't do that then you shouldn't have become a parent.

Tabbytabitha

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Indeed, the ability to breed does not make someone a good parent, and treating their children differently is an excellent indication of someone that isn't a good parent.

If you make the choice to become a parent, and it is a choice because birth control and terminations are readily available on the mainland, then you have no excuse not to treat your children well and equitably. If you can't do that then you shouldn't have become a parent.

"Being a good parent" in the sense you mean it, stops when your children become independent adults, afaic. Then they become individuals in their own rights and should be treated as individuals rather than just lumped together. You may get on really well with one of them but not at all with another and they may feel the same about you.

If you get on so well with one child that you spend most Sundays with then, should you spend most Saturdays with the other one despite the fact that you bore each other silly?

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

..... and avoiding the obvious elephant in the room or the potential awkwardness when in his sisters (his sisters may feel the same way) company is the best way to go??? Do me a favour!!

This is more than just about the money .... Sticking heads in the sand in this situation is cowardly and will just creates more problems. It may be a very simple answer one of the sisters may know the answer to. It doesnt mean he is entitled to more money, but will allow him closure if he genuinely is unaware of the reason, clears the air with the sisters and they all move on .... this really isnt rocket science!!

There isn't 'an elephant in the room'.
Really. There isn't.

If one or more of the sisters wish to share their inheritance or share their knowledge of the reason for the way the will was written, that is up to them.
Doing neither is not cowardly.
They are in a position not of their own making.

And let's not forget that the OP's first post was about challenging his Father's will because he felt hard-done-to, not about finding out the reasons behind the will.
And that's not rocket science either.