How to fairly contribute to bills in a relationship?

Didi33

Hi, I'm moving in with my boyfriend soon (into his rented home) and I want to figure out the fairest way for us both to contribute to the bills in accordance with our respective independent incomes. He earns about £10k more than me, though my wage is ok - but basically I can't afford as much as he can when it comes to rent. He originally said that we'd split the rent 50/50, which would see his rent decrease and mine stay the same. I was thinking 40/60. He also has a son who stays with us 3 or 4 nights of the week.

How do other people arrange this? What about bills? Some people I've asked have started a joint account and they each put e.g. 20% of their monthly income there to pay for everything.

Thoughts?

Thanks!

FBaby

It's no point looking at income if you don't take into account outgoings. The fairest is to consider both so that you both end up with the same disposable income, although even then you could argue that he should be left with a bit more since he has to treat himself and his son with that (assuming you don't have kids).

JayJay100

We did it on percentage basis, based on our comparative earnings, and have continued to do so. It's worked really well for us. Sometimes I've earned more, sometimes he has, and we've adjusted the percentage accordingly. The OH has a son, who stayed with us for five days a week, and still does occasionally, if it suits his working pattern, but we didn't factor that in; the only time that really came into play was if we went out to eat and he was with us, as the OH would always pick up those bills.

svain

Until children come along ... Bills and rent should be split 50/50. It makes no odds that he earns more than you. Recreationally (ie meals, days out etc) he might pick up a bit more of the tab if his child is with you, but apart from that i dont see how it makes a difference

takman

I agree with svain 50/50 of all bills is the fairest amount including the rent. Just because he earns more than you doesn't mean he should pay more. If you want more money then you are free to get a better job that pays more and do whatever is needed to get that job.

maman

takman wrote: »

I agree with svain 50/50 of all bills is the fairest amount including the rent. Just because he earns more than you doesn't mean he should pay more. If you want more money then you are free to get a better job that pays more and do whatever is needed to get that job.

I agree with that too as far as the rent is concerned.


I can see that he might want to contribute a bit more when his child comes round to eat but I wouldn't push that too hard. If you had a friend to stay you wouldn't expect to charge them would you?


Why do you think you should just pay 40%? OK, we all like a bargain but I can't see any logic behind it. Landlords don't adjust rent based on how much you earn.

WibblyGirly

If you do a search you'll find plenty of threads discussing this topic, it must come up at least once a week so theres plenty for you read already

LilElvis

If there is a bedroom set aside purely for the son's use then I don't think it's unreasonable that the father should pay a larger share of the rent.

Mojisola

Do you see yourselves as a couple or as flatmates?

Tabbytabitha

Didi33 wrote: »

Hi, I'm moving in with my boyfriend soon (into his rented home) and I want to figure out the fairest way for us both to contribute to the bills in accordance with our respective independent incomes. He earns about £10k more than me, though my wage is ok - but basically I can't afford as much as he can when it comes to rent. He originally said that we'd split the rent 50/50, which would see his rent decrease and mine stay the same. I was thinking 40/60. He also has a son who stays with us 3 or 4 nights of the week.

How do other people arrange this? What about bills? Some people I've asked have started a joint account and they each put e.g. 20% of their monthly income there to pay for everything.

Thoughts?

Thanks!

If your rent would stay the same by splitting 50/50 and that was the original arrangement then I don't really see why you'd want to start haggling about it before you'd even moved in.

After deductions and paying child maintenance, your incomes aren't really going to be that far apart, either.

maisie_cat

the fairest way is to split 50:50 unless one of you is working reduced hours for childcare/domestic reasons in which case another option works.
I believe the best way is to calculate the worth of the work done in non working hours, the total is the worth of the non working plus working time. so if one partner earns £1000 and the other £3000 a month but the worth of the childcare is £1000 and the cooking/cleaning £1000 they are even.