What to do, At a crossroad in life.

Jackmydad

To me, being in an equal business partnership means equality in everything. You should have access to the books, and the business account(s).
And a share in any profits of course.
I had a relative who let his business partner take care of their business finances. That didn't end well.

As already said, your dad is being selfish and bossy.
If he won't talk and act sensibly, then it's easy to say, but I think that you and your husband would be better off out of it.
Do be ready for fall outs though!
Being SE is all well and good, but not if you're losing your life / work balance, and being treated as an employee.

Nagme

I empathise with your situation, and it's going to take courage to change things.

I have been in a similar situation. We moved this year, it was the best thing we did, so I say decide with your husband what you would like to do, then sit your Dad down and talk to him.

The family member that we moved away from was a textbook narcissist and it took counselling for me to be strong enough to say "I'm sorry you feel that way", and put myself and my family first.

Sometimes it's just better to put some distance between family.

All the best.