Rent from g/f's daughter

xylophone

There, some of you can start telling me again what a horrible human being I am

.

As the young woman has left education and is in receipt of adult benefits, then as I and some others have said, it is quite reasonable to expect a contribution to household expenses.

Mojisola

xylophone wrote: »

As the young woman has left education and is in receipt of adult benefits, then as I and some others have said, it is quite reasonable to expect a contribution to household expenses.

But as she is living in a house paid for by her mother's BF, she's not entitled to claim any housing costs so her contribution should be for food and other bills, not rent.

LocoLoco

LateStarter wrote: »

I didn't expect quite the reaction I've had when I posted this, and I did have to take a deep breath before posting again, but here goes.

My partner does not claim any benefits, either for herself, or as a carer. She works part time at a low paid job, because she wants to work. Since moving in with me, for the first time she is able to spend this money mostly on herself, on the occasional hairdo and day out, things she never had as a single mother.

The daughter is out of education, and has an income - that it comes from benefits seems of special significance to some, and I am being acused of trying to steal from the taxpayer.

I was raised to work, and have always paid my way; when I lived at home I gave money to my parents. My adult son give 25% of his earnings to his mother (my ex-wife); in my family we've always used rent to mean room and board. There are expenses in having a 3rd adult in the house - and the reality is this is an adult who is not related to me. I'm actually starting to think this should now be a formal arrangement - maybe a lodger agreement. This thread has helped clear my head, so I'll be talking to g/f about it.

There, some of you can start telling me again what a horrible human being I am.

LS

It makes perfect sense to me that you ask any adult in the home who can contribute to do so, whether they are related to you or not, and quite why so many on this thread have got their knickers in a twist (or are unable to see that 'rent' can mean different things to different people) is beyond me.

LateStarter

Mojisola wrote: »

But as she is living in a house paid for by her mother's BF, she's not entitled to claim any housing costs so her contribution should be for food and other bills, not rent.

This is not meant to be sarcastic; I don't why whatever benefit she receives or is unable to claim has anything to do with it. I'm talking about the basic principle of paying something for the roof over you head - what I've always called "rent".

Mojisola

LateStarter wrote: »

This is not meant to be sarcastic; I don't why whatever benefit she receives or is unable to claim has anything to do with it. I'm talking about the basic principle of paying something for the roof over you head - what I've always called "rent".

You might call it that but 'rent' to most people means the price you pay a LL for your accomodation.

w06

edit a few posts were made whilst i was typing, the quite was in reference to locoloco's post

quite, and actually pretty offensive to suggest a disabled young adult has less of a responsibility for household costs than somebody wihtout disabilities.

OP I think what you mean is 'board' rather than rent.

I earn about what I would recieve on disability benefits if I didn't work, I rent and run a house on that, perfectly reasonble to ask for a contribution towards running the household. I'd use what your children are giving to their mum as a guide. But worth discussing with your partner and then both of you with your step daughter, in a positive it's part of being an adult way.

I see far too often the result of teenagers/early 20s smart young folk having never needed to consider the cost of living until into their 20s, and then struggling becuase they weren't aware of the real cost of running a household or the value in work of money.

Nullboris

yes ask her for contribution .. Do you know how much she (Dottir) gets in bens , getting her to contribute is both socially and psychologically good for her. She can now have a say in how things are run, decorated etc . If she didnt pay anything , she may feel guilt.
You will be promoting her to the adult world , and she can roll her Maltesers wherever she likes.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

You might call it that but 'rent' to most people means the price you pay a LL for your accomodation.

I think a lots of confusion has arisen from the terminology the OP used.

I don't think it's unreasonable for the OP to ask his partner's daughter to pay board.

However, he seems to be thinking of putting the arrangement on a formal basis:

LateStarter wrote: »

I was raised to work, and have always paid my way; when I lived at home I gave money to my parents. My adult son give 25% of his earnings to his mother (my ex-wife); in my family we've always used rent to mean room and board. There are expenses in having a 3rd adult in the house - and the reality is this is an adult who is not related to me. I'm actually starting to think this should now be a formal arrangement - maybe a lodger agreement. This thread has helped clear my head, so I'll be talking to g/f about it.

There, some of you can start telling me again what a horrible human being I am.

LS

FBaby

And still you haven't said anything about what her mother thinks. Why are you making this about you? As you've said, you consider your 'girlfriend' and yourself a partnership since you are happy to contribute more into the household than going 50/50, so why does the decision whether her daughter should contribute or not come down to you?

Whether she should pay or not depends on many personal factors that we don't know about, but the way your posts come across is that you consider your partner's DD very differently to your partner and if I was the partner, I would be really annoyed with your attitude.

NYM

LateStarter wrote: »

I didn't expect quite the reaction I've had when I posted this, and I did have to take a deep breath before posting again, but here goes.

My partner does not claim any benefits, either for herself, or as a carer. She works part time at a low paid job, because she wants to work. Since moving in with me, for the first time she is able to spend this money mostly on herself, on the occasional hairdo and day out, things she never had as a single mother.

The daughter is out of education, and has an income - that it comes from benefits seems of special significance to some, and I am being acused of trying to steal from the taxpayer.

I was raised to work, and have always paid my way; when I lived at home I gave money to my parents. My adult son give 25% of his earnings to his mother (my ex-wife); in my family we've always used rent to mean room and board. There are expenses in having a 3rd adult in the house - and the reality is this is an adult who is not related to me. I'm actually starting to think this should now be a formal arrangement - maybe a lodger agreement. This thread has helped clear my head, so I'll be talking to g/f about it.

There, some of you can start telling me again what a horrible human being I am.

LS

What does your g/friend think? Presumably, you'll have discussed this with her before asking the question here?

There is nothing wrong in asking for a contribution from your g/friends daughter. Don't, however, suggest making it a formal agreement. She's not a lodger, she's part of your 'family'