Christmas Present suggestions wanted

onlyroz

FreddieFrugal wrote: »

No idea why people feel the need to be so critical of other people's living arrangements.

It's also unnecessary for a thread asking for advice on Christmas presents to descend into a finger-pointing exercise, or a moral judgement on people's lifestyle choices.

TBagpuss

If he says he doesn't want / need anything then its OK to take him at his word - different people have different 'languages of live' and it sounds as though he doesn't really want or need gifts to feel you care about him.

If you want 'something to wrap' then you can get smaller things (like the coffee mug or thermos) and wrap them, or you can get inventive with living him some money. One year when my brother (who doesn't really care about gifts) wanted money to help pay for text books and materials for his OU course, we all gave him money, but did it in inventive ways. One sibling carefully unwrapped Rolo and Fruit Pastilles tubes and replaced the wrapping around rolls of £1 coins, another made up a little tin of handy stuff (spare ear buds, guitar picks, screen wipes etc ) and put a couple of £10 notes in the bottom and a 3rd made an origami flower out of £5 notes and carefully wrapped it, so he had several packages none of which was immediately obviously 'just' cash.

Maybe you could do something similar?

Or make you own gift card which is an 'IOU' for a gig or the cost of train tickets to get there. (I personally would give cash or an IOU rather than gift cards, as most gift cards have an expiry date , and some are very short - I was looking at one for a cocktail place I was thinking of giving to my brother-in-law, and it is only valid for 3 months from the purchase date. Plus you lose the money if the company goes bust. )

If you want there to be a gift to unwrap then you could look at getting a collection of things such as screen wipes, compressed air to clean the keyboard and so on for his computer, and add in a cheque if you feel he should have something extra.

elsien

I have a close relative who says he doesn't want anything, and he's not just saying it, he means it. So now he gets a tenners worth of bits, chocolate, cheap book, Poundland tat (we have a competition going as to who can find the worst stuff) and that's it. And I only do that so his kids don't get upset that he's got nothing to open.
If it's what he wants, then maybe time to take him at his word even if it doesn't sit well with you.

mrsjanebanbury2009

In my experience, men who have guitars always have some sort of accessories they need/want for them

tesuhoha

elsien wrote: »

I have a close relative who says he doesn't want anything, and he's not just saying it, he means it. So now he gets a tenners worth of bits, chocolate, cheap book, Poundland tat (we have a competition going as to who can find the worst stuff) and that's it. And I only do that so his kids don't get upset that he's got nothing to open.
If it's what he wants, then maybe time to take him at his word even if it doesn't sit well with you.

Maybe but I buy his sister lovely presents so it is difficult.

tesuhoha

mrsjanebanbury2009 wrote: »

In my experience, men who have guitars always have some sort of accessories they need/want for them

You have a good point there.

cyantist

Guitar wall hooks or stands, or you can get personalised plectrums or even just spare strings or a capo.

He drinks a lot of takeaway coffee - any particular sort? You could get a starbucks/costa gift card. At least it would be useful.

elsien

Put the money to one side, so that if he ever does need a deposit for something - flat, car, whatever, he's got it waiting for him?

Spendless

Does he have a watch? You say he works in a warehouse. In the warehouse where I work the staff weren't allowed to take mobile phones in but could at one point wear a watch thought that has been stopped now. What about any other jewellery?

What sort of clothes does he wear to go out in. Would he wear anything like cuff-links, collar stiffners or tie clips?

Hopefully you've got some ideas now.

I was 28 when I moved out of my parents house. I couldn't afford to do it before then. Buying alone rather than with a partner is very difficult (financially) and the house prices weren't that expensive then. The house I bought then went into negative equity withina year and took a further 6 to come back out of it - should have stayed at home for longer.:)

Lavendyr

tesuhoha wrote: »

He's not living off us. He pays rent and buys his own food but he doesn't earn enough to rent a place. I would love to give him a house deposit but don't have the money.

I only asked for present ideas.

He's earning enough to buy a lot of nice things for himself, though, from your first post. And I offered a present idea - money towards a deposit. I'm sorry you didn't appreciate that suggestion.

If you, your husband and your son are happy with the living arrangement, fair enough, and I'm not making any judgement on that. I apologise if that's how it came across.

To others - I'm by no means jealous of the living arrangement - when I was OP's son's age I would never have wanted to live at home still! and I'm fortunate enough to have a pretty comfortable life - I just wonder whether the son might be taking advantage a little bit.